So angry!!

**FluffyDucks** · 12-03-2012 13:36

Fairly certain I will get shot down in flames about this but I don't find his request for his partner to have a Brazilian particularly bad. Okay it was delivered poorly (And I don't know your dh or current situation) but I would hope that in a caring and loving relationship that my partner could request a sexual desire...and I would hope I could fulfill that for him.

Just saying is all!

**GluttonForPunishment** · 12-03-2012 13:42

Originally Posted by Michelle_N

Fairly certain I will get shot down in flames about this but I don't find his request for his partner to have a Brazilian particularly bad. Okay it was delivered poorly (And I don't know your dh or current situation) but I would hope that in a caring and loving relationship that my partner could request a sexual desire...and I would hope I could fulfill that for him.

Just saying is all!

Ok, sure. Example:

I want an@l s3x with you. I don't care that it hurts you and that you don't enjoy it. Do it anyway.

Really? You would honour that request? Because in my opinion, in a "caring and loving relationship", you both care about what each other don't want to do as much as what you do want to do. That's why it's caring.

Her DH is showing a total lack of care by continuing to force this issue. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO. It hurts, causes her pain and she doesn't want to do it. No one should make her feel bad about not wanting to do this, let alone the man who's meant to care about her the most.

**brooke88(mum2b09)** · 12-03-2012 14:41

Compromise by saying you'll get it done if he comes along and gets one too

**babybabycakes** · 12-03-2012 14:58

Originally Posted by GluttonForPunishment

Ok, sure. Example:

I want an@l s3x with you. I don't care that it hurts you and that you don't enjoy it. Do it anyway.

Really? You would honour that request? Because in my opinion, in a "caring and loving relationship", you both care about what each other don't want to do as much as what you do want to do. That's why it's caring.

Her DH is showing a total lack of care by continuing to force this issue. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO. It hurts, causes her pain and she doesn't want to do it. No one should make her feel bad about not wanting to do this, let alone the man who's meant to care about her the most.

thank you thank you thank you! Exactly this!

(off topic- but if i wasnt married and also taking shemar moore to the bub hub awards- id ask to take you. Your a credit to the Y chromosome )

**Disney Baby** · 12-03-2012 15:21

I'm making my DH sound like a bad person, he really isn't. He really is a caring person, but sometimes he gets ideas stuck in his head and he isn't happy until they are sorted. His idea this time is a brazilian.

I like the idea of telling him how much they cost, but I'm pretty sure he would be happy if I only got it done the one time just to see how I really feel about it, but I really don't want to...like really really don't want to! I'd rather try and give myself a brazilian before I let someone else

I try and do things he tells me to because I am a pretty closed off person I guess and don't really like to try new things, and he tries to push me to break out of that zone to better myself I suppose. Sometimes it's ok and others it's not. I just don't like it when he makes it sound like I NEVER do anything he says, when if he really thought about it, I try harder than he thinks!

I hope this councelling place gets back to me soon.

**sunnyflower** · 12-03-2012 16:14

whatever did men do before brazilians were invented???

AM · 12-03-2012 16:31

Originally Posted by Disney Baby

but sometimes he gets ideas stuck in his head and he isn't happy until they are sorted. His idea this time is a brazilian.

Meaning until he gets his own way?? Honestly, the only person who has any say over what is done TO YOUR BODY is you. Yes, he can suggest until the cows come home, but the final decision is YOURS and he needs to back off and accept that. That is what respect is about.

I try and do things he tells me to because I am a pretty closed off person I guess and don't really like to try new things, and he tries to push me to break out of that zone to better myself I suppose. Sometimes it's ok and others it's not. I just don't like it when he makes it sound like I NEVER do anything he says, when if he really thought about it, I try harder than he thinks!

I hate to say this, but this rings quite a few alarm bells to me. I was in a relationship where I was told similar things, and pushed into things I didn't want to do. It's controlling, and can ultimately be quite toxic.

I hope this councelling place gets back to me soon.

Yes, please do have counselling, things sound a bit concerning to me.

There are also a couple of books you could read.

"Why does he do that" Lundy Bancroft
"Should I stay or should I go" Lundy Bancroft

Both give quite amazing insights into healthy, and unhealthy relationships, and enable you to be ableto objectively assess where yours is at, how it can be improved etc...

All the best.

**Guest1234** · 12-03-2012 16:40

Originally Posted by Michelle_N

Fairly certain I will get shot down in flames about this but I don't find his request for his partner to have a Brazilian particularly bad. Okay it was delivered poorly (And I don't know your dh or current situation) but I would hope that in a caring and loving relationship that my partner could request a sexual desire...and I would hope I could fulfill that for him.

Just saying is all!

There's nothing wrong with him suggesting she get waxed, but that doesn't mean she should. If she isn't comfortable with doing it, she is well within her right to say no, and he has to respect that.

**FluffyDucks** · 12-03-2012 16:47

Originally Posted by GluttonForPunishment

Ok, sure. Example:

I want an@l s3x with you. I don't care that it hurts you and that you don't enjoy it. Do it anyway.

Really? You would honour that request? Because in my opinion, in a "caring and loving relationship", you both care about what each other don't want to do as much as what you do want to do. That's why it's caring.

Her DH is showing a total lack of care by continuing to force this issue. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO. It hurts, causes her pain and she doesn't want to do it. No one should make her feel bad about not wanting to do this, let alone the man who's meant to care about her the most.

*sigh* Really? Is that what you got from my post? That she should be forced to have an@l sex??

What I was trying to say in my post in the context of the OPs question which was about brazilian waxing (NOT an@l sex) was that if my partner had a request that I would HOPE that I could fulfil it.

It didnt say I WOULD....I said I HOPE I could. Which means that I would like to fulfil a desire he may have but I may not. Did you not read that part?

Geez! From your post you are implying that I have said that he should hold her down with a pot of hot wax in one hand and a beauty therapist in the other. From what I read of the OP it was one request for some hair removal and I responded to that comment.

If it was about an@l sex or something else I may have responded differently.

**MissMuppet** · 12-03-2012 16:48

I don't think people object to the request. They object to the demand and pouty tantrumy behaviour in response to 'no'.

I'm astounded by his 'you always call the shots' objection. Its your body. Of course you call the shots about what happens to it!!

My body is not a democracy, sorry. Absolute dictatorship I'm afraid. I'll take requests, suggestion, advice, but ultimately what I do to it comes down to a vote of 1.

OP I'd be angry too. I'd object to DH getting a bee in his bonnet about my body.