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  1. #1
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    Default What to do if you hate your current life and don't know how you got there?

    I recently saw a post on facebook that simply said like this status if you love your life. I looked at it and thought huh love my life? No I don't!

    I have 3 healthy beautiful girls aged 4, nearly 3 and 1 but they are such hard work all day everyday I am exhausted. My husband and I have been together 9 years this year but we are on the verge of breaking up, all we do is just fight, fight, fight and u am over it. We have huge financial problems but having 3 kids and no family to help with them I can't get a job to help out (I left an excellent job just before having 3rd baby, I regret leaving soo much). I sold 2 businesses I started up and worked so hard on over last year which I miss and want back soo much. Its just one thing after another and I just can't take it anymore. I want to just up and leave and start all over again!!

    What do I do???

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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Im sorry, i dont know what u can do. But i wanted to give u soe virtual hugs*

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    Oh no I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I had to reply. I can only offer you a *hug* I would not know what to do in your situation. I hope you work things out somehow.

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    Counseling would be my first step. For you as an individual and for you and your husband as a couple.
    On top of that, I would start doing things you enjoy doing. It may seem like a huge effort to start with but when you get into it you really enjoy it and it's all worth it, and once you have that motivation it's like a new found energy. Easier said than done, I know.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    Counseling would be my first step. For you as an individual and for you and your husband as a couple.
    On top of that, I would start doing things you enjoy doing. It may seem like a huge effort to start with but when you get into it you really enjoy it and it's all worth it, and once you have that motivation it's like a new found energy. Easier said than done, I know.
    Thanks ladies!!

    Yes I think counseling too, I haven't looked into it at all so I will start with that.
    Agh I would love to do things I enjoy but it just feels pointless to even try with the three kids. I have no one who will babysit them and I asked my partner today if I could have an hour nap and that was like the worst thing I ever could of asked for. I can't imagine if I wanted to leave the house without the kids for more then 5 minutes. I just feel that I have gotten myself into this situation am I just meant to suffer with my bad choices or is it possible to be happy again?

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    It's definitely possible to be happy again! I think everyone goes through a period where they're just generally dissatisfied with their life and everything seems to be going wrong.
    It's a horrible place to be in, but it will get better with persistence Perhaps consider if depression might be a factor? Sometimes even light depression can make things seem difficult and not worthwhile.

    Sounds like you need some 'you' time sister I know what it's like to not have a babysitter and not be able to have time to yourself, so I feel your pain. I'm lucky though, if I'm having a really hard time of it my DH will step in. It's hard when you don't feel like you're being backed up by your OH.

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    Not knowing you and dp or your lives, my comments may not suit but I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents anyway.

    My ex and I had been together a few months shy of 9 years, one DD, a lot of financial stress and with colliding working hours, almost never saw each other.

    In an attempt to fix things, he changed to day shift work (we are lucky tho that we have family to help with DD) but when he changed shifts and we were home together every afternoon/night, boy was it a rude shock. All that petty arguing we had done in the small times we saw each other previously, was escalated and seeing so much of each other made things worse.

    Anyway, we separated in January. We realized that if we kept going the way we were for the sake of staying together for DD, we would've just erupted in this big horrible fight sooner or later and the split would be horrible for all 3 of us.
    We still love each other but it seems we've grown apart and not realized.

    So now we are separated with the goal that worst case scenario, we end up as friend with a child together. At least all will be happy. We may or may not get back together but we both are taking this time to appreciate the space, work on ourselves as individuals rather than as a couple and finding ourselves again and just getting back to basics.

    It was super hard at first and still is hard now but we are actually getting along better now than we had for the past 6 months of our relationship.

    Anyway. My point is space and time apart is helping us. You said you felt like wanting to leave sometimes, maybe some time apart to relearn to appreciate each other and yourselves as individuals is what you need.


    Hugs I don't have any real advise. Just wanted to share from someone who felt the same as you.




    •Sent from my iPhone•

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