+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 8 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 78
  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    805
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    121
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Oh and il just point out that sge did 9 months alone, labour with her eldest who was young at the rime.

    Did newborn alone, everyrhing for 4 yrs, so thats not something ahe can easily walk away from

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    The 'Gong, NSW
    Posts
    2,624
    Thanks
    1,671
    Thanked
    374
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Not sure what you mean by "not everyone has the luxury of choosing when they have kids" exactly. You do choose when to have kids!
    I mean, accidental pregnancies can and do occur, so in that regard, many people don't get to choose when they're having kids.

    Some children are born as a result of abuse/ assault, or a one night stand or a fling. There may have been no real choice involved, birth control has been known to be unreliable.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to naebie For This Useful Post:

    share a book  (10-03-2012)

  4. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    8,794
    Thanks
    3,395
    Thanked
    3,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by 4underfour View Post
    Genuine question, but how is this a 'systems failure'? Do you think mothers should be able to take the kids away from their fathers?
    The father has just as many rights as the mother. If you have a child with someone, you are bound to them like it or not.
    It's a failure because all too often a move overseas = giving up all contact.

    To further explain, a woman who lives in Sweden meets a man who is on holidays there. They fall in love, she visits Australia where she falls pregnant. They plan to marry after Baby is born, but then the split up. Mum can't continue to live in Australia and Dad won't let Baby leave the country. I know it's not the same, because it's not by choice, but still contact with small children when there is that much distance is very difficult.

    The way I see it as a failure is that it's very difficult to be granted time with kids when living overseas, or even in another state. I think it should be made easier to allow contact. That's where it fails. Unless the parent is a danger to the kids, it really should be easier than it is now.

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    2,995
    Thanks
    1,382
    Thanked
    2,879
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think that considering her circumstances it seems like a very hard decision. She's doesn't sound like she's being selfish at all.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Alexander Beetle For This Useful Post:

    shelle65  (13-03-2012),Stiflers Mom  (11-03-2012)

  7. #35
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,779
    Thanks
    327
    Thanked
    940
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbygirl View Post
    Well the abandoment thing she completely gets, as her mother gave her up so she cud have another baby with another guy.
    So its not something shes thinking of lightly.

    She didnt have a choice with her first child at all, but she did the right thing and has been going it alone since then.

    Her second, she decided to have a baby because she was happy and her dreams wer going to b filled with her kids and patner!
    But she was tricked.

    Its not the wanting to travel thats her dream, nothing selfish like that, lets be honest, the country will b there dor many yrs to come.

    Its what in the country she already lives in that shes trying to escape, stuff that involves tfying to keep her 1st child safe and alive.
    So just know that its not a selfish move of oh she wants this and that right now.

    She is very much alone and scared and wants to leave! She desperatley wants to take her 2nd child, she feels it would be a better life for all 3!

    But shes being forced to live in a place where she is scared, threatened and alone.

    Shes explored all other options, and she done those that the fob will permit but none have helped.

    Its almost a choice between her and her 1st childs saftey or being with her other child.

    Shes gone through legal, and evetything and moving out of country which is her only dream seems to be the only other option ... Or staying put.

    Shes been thinking about this situation for close to a yr now, and still feels horrible and torn and is still here cause she cant let her child go.

    But at what cost...
    She is extremely torn and doesnt know what to do
    I don't think that we as a group have enough information to actually form an opinion given your latest post.

    If it is a case that the woman is in a country where she cannot easily leave, eg a middle eastern or some Asian countries, then there are options to help her escape. If it is Europe or the United States of America then the courts can give permission for both children to leave.

    If we are talking about Australia then there are options for her to move and to get the Family Court's permission to relocate.

  8. #36
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Brisbane, QLD
    Posts
    12,994
    Thanks
    1,125
    Thanked
    1,962
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Even as a partnered parent I have dreams that just can't become reality now I have children. I always wanted to be a submariner, can't be absent 10 months of every year with no contact once you have children depending on you.

    So no, I wouldn't move overseas without one of my children to pursue a dream and I would not think very highly of someone who did.

  9. #37
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,002
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked
    641
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbygirl View Post
    Well the abandoment thing she completely gets, as her mother gave her up so she cud have another baby with another guy.
    So its not something shes thinking of lightly.

    She didnt have a choice with her first child at all, but she did the right thing and has been going it alone since then.

    Her second, she decided to have a baby because she was happy and her dreams wer going to b filled with her kids and patner!
    But she was tricked.

    Its not the wanting to travel thats her dream, nothing selfish like that, lets be honest, the country will b there dor many yrs to come.

    Its what in the country she already lives in that shes trying to escape, stuff that involves tfying to keep her 1st child safe and alive.
    So just know that its not a selfish move of oh she wants this and that right now.

    She is very much alone and scared and wants to leave! She desperatley wants to take her 2nd child, she feels it would be a better life for all 3!

    But shes being forced to live in a place where she is scared, threatened and alone.

    Shes explored all other options, and she done those that the fob will permit but none have helped.

    Its almost a choice between her and her 1st childs saftey or being with her other child.

    Shes gone through legal, and evetything and moving out of country which is her only dream seems to be the only other option ... Or staying put.

    Shes been thinking about this situation for close to a yr now, and still feels horrible and torn and is still here cause she cant let her child go.

    But at what cost...
    She is extremely torn and doesnt know what to do
    Well yeah, you have kinda changed the story now, or at least you left out some details earlier that may have changed the way some people responded...
    Like Louellyn said, I dont think we have all the information to be able to make an informed opinion on the matter.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to GothChick For This Useful Post:

    share a book  (10-03-2012)

  11. #38
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    1,170
    Thanked
    381
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I could never ever do that. That would be like leaving a part of my heart here. If I wanted to move overseas I would fight to be able to take both children or wait until there have left the nest and even then I wouldn't want to move overseas away from them.

  12. #39
    Guest Guest
    I'm confused. Is her child's life threatened? How will leaving that child with the father behind help things? What has she done that hasnt worked and what is going on for leaving the country with the child behind to be the only option?

  13. #40
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
    Winner 2012 - Most Politically Correct Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    2,837
    Thanks
    1,083
    Thanked
    1,427
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbygirl View Post
    So she could go after her dream of living overseas?

    Few basics - she cant with 2 kids cause the father would never allow it. And well thats the only reason.

    Her whole life shes lived how every one told her and shes not happy, and feels like maybe doing this could be what she needs, and doing whike shes still young, instead of in 18 or more years time
    My bolding.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbygirl View Post
    Its almost a choice between her and her 1st childs saftey or being with her other child.

    Shes gone through legal, and evetything and moving out of country which is her only dream seems to be the only other option ... Or staying put.

    Shes been thinking about this situation for close to a yr now, and still feels horrible and torn and is still here cause she cant let her child go.

    But at what cost...
    She is extremely torn and doesnt know what to do

    So which is it? Because those two stories are entirely different. It's not just 'leaving details out', it's going from the only reason is the father not allowing it, to the whole reason is a threat to a child.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to Eko For This Useful Post:

    MissPoss  (11-03-2012)


 
+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 8 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Childhood dreams....
    By wannawannabe in forum General Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 27-11-2012, 06:46
  2. How to miss a childhood.
    By Guest1234 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 16-05-2012, 14:49
  3. if you remember something about your childhood
    By musicalmummy in forum General depression and blues
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 27-03-2012, 11:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Ro&Co
Share magical moments this Christmas with this gorgeous gingerbread house. Exclusively available in Brisbane, with FREE delivery in Brisbane Metro areas. Each Christmas Centrepiece is unique and made to order, from $240.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Carmels Beauty Secrets
An online beauty and wellness site which offers simple and effective time saving methods and tips which help you look younger for longer.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!