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  1. #1
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    Default What was your deciding factor in having a third?

    I've been on the fence about having a third for years now, i want a third but i'm terrified at the same time - what if i can't cope with 3. I fear that whatever i decide i will end up wishing i had made the opposite choice

    So i'm interested to hear from those who have been in my position and then decided to go ahead with a third - what was it that made you go ahead with it? and how do you feel about that decision now?

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    I'm in the same boat and have some same worries.

    However we have been ttc bub 3 for 6 months. And we had one m/c and stopped for a little while. Every day my maternal instincts were yelling at me wanting another one. The thought of not ttc was depressing me.

    Then I realized that no matter how difficult, stressful and all we both desperately wanting to finish our family and atm it doesn't feel complete.

    So we are ready yet not but going for it lol.

    Interested to read more posts.

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    MothersMilk  (10-03-2012)

  4. #3
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    I had to fight for my third, my dh really wanted to stop at two. Basically I have awful pregnancies and had two difficult sleepers....yet I couldn't shake my desire for one more. I didn't feel 'done'.

    Now 8 weeks after number 3 arrived and knee deep in sleep deprivation etc, I'm still so happy we had her!!! She giggled yesterday
    I really haven't found it too stressful or unmanageable at all. And my oldest is not yet 5 but just started school. That's the worst thing- school drop off and pickup.

    The other reason I wanted three so much was for my kids. I wanted them to have at least two siblings they could call on for support throughout their lives.

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    MothersMilk  (10-03-2012),Mummyx2 princesses  (18-05-2012),nelle7250  (10-03-2012)

  6. #4
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    We didn't decide/plan on having a third! After two DDs I thought we were done! We only ever planned for 2. I am now almost 27weeks pregnant with a boy! What is meant to be will be ;-) that's how I see things anyway!
    I am a bit stressed though as to how I will cope with 3!!

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    MothersMilk  (11-03-2012)

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    Our 3rd is almost 4 months old and although things are crazy, there was just no way we weren't going to have him.
    For us, gender had a little to do with it. We have 2 girls and I'm sure if we had one of each my DH would have been happy to stop, but I wouldn't have.
    He really wanted a boy, so agreed to TTC #3. Before we found out we were having a boy he told me that u
    if we had another girl we'd have to go for #4! I told him no way- 3 is my limit and I would be more than happy with 3 girls.
    Luckily we got our son!
    Now that our little man is here, I feel complete. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, all traces of cluckiness have disappeared (could be the sleeplessness!)
    I feel so "done" that I am ebaying all little man's clothes as he grows out of them.
    They say the only child you regret is the one you don't have.

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    MothersMilk  (11-03-2012)

  10. #6
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    We always wanted a big family but after 2 close together and a move interstate (where we had very little support) and a difficult time in our relationship, both of us just didn't want more. It wasn't even like we discussed it, we just didn't want any.

    When DD2 was 4 my best friend was living with us pregnant, then had her baby, things were so easy with the girls, I finished my (first) degree, we both just starting wanting another one.

    He is absolutely beautiful, so so easy with the gap between him and the girls (thank goodness we started very young and could afford that gap). I've loved it so much, its like how I felt when I had my first. And the girls just LOVE him, I really feel I have enriched their lives by giving them a younger sibling. And of course its nice for my husband to have a son, but that was a fluke! So glad we had our little man

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    MothersMilk  (11-03-2012)

  12. #7
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    The positive pregnancy test was our deciding factor . I honestly don't think we would have had another if he hadn't appeared. Now three months on we are getting out of lots of night feeding, down to one in the early morning. He is a delight and loves his older brothers. It has also helped that my oldest started school and so I have only two at home during the week.

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  14. #8
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    DS3 wasn't a decision we had made for right then (def down the track) but he made himself very known... and then the test agreed he was definitely on the way

    In all honesty I haven't found having 3 *that* much harder than having 2. Yeah there is a bit more effort to get ready etc, but that's just expected when there is another person.... in all honesty I think having 3 has been beneficial for us... it's forced structure and routine to be inplace a lot more solidly than it was with just the two.

    Yeah it's meant nappies for longer, sleepless nights and a tad more work... but honestly I think we run better as a family now DS3 is here than we did before (and I'm raising all 3 alone now).

    I reckon if you want a third - go for it! My DS3 is an absolute blessing... I couldn't imagine life without him!

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    MothersMilk  (11-03-2012)

  16. #9
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    subscribing

    im a single mum having my second thinking about having no 3 if my donor is happy to help again. i was told i couldnt have kids so being able to is great. i also like the idea of having siblings to support you as you get older just like i have with my brother and sister.

    Will be interested in everyone elses feedback on going from 2 to 3 though!!

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    MothersMilk  (11-03-2012)

  18. #10
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    We have two boys and started trying for a third a year ago. I am one of three and I just felt as though we weren't finished and our family wasn't complete.

    After more than a year of TTC and some assistance from IVF we managed to fall pregnant with our lucky third and last child.

    Imagine our complete shock and surprise when we discovered at our dating scan then - that we are in fact having identical twins!! We only had one embryo put back in to get a single baby - and it divided, so now we are going to have four!

    We are still in shock, happy and excited but shocked! It doesn't happen very often - so we are blessed, but don't forget about the possibility of twins

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    MothersMilk  (11-03-2012)


 

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