First off I'm not in any trouble, I don't feel any more depressed the normal (in fact if anything somewhat less in ways) but the last few days I have just felt the world is falling apart.
Firstly One of my Besties Sends me a message saying she loves me and needs to talk but doesn't know whens he will be able to as her DH's Depression seems to have kicked into a Psychotic overdrive. She was basically on a 24/7 Suicide watch with him whilst also trying to look after their 2yo work full time and convince him of what was real and what wasn't. HE has been struggling for a whole and being a typical Stubborn male hasn't gotten anywhere with getting better. Not to mention that he has only been getting referrals for psychologists despite repeatedly asking for Psychiatrists.
A couple of days later another good friend Msgs me just to share she had been in hospital all day with a mutual friend who had tried to commit suicide. This friend has a live-in Boyfriend who I have never met but always had a weird vibe when I heard about him. He had gotten up , gotten ready for work and left without noticing she was passed out next to an empty pack of medication and barely breathing. My friend had received a msg by SMS at 2:30 but didn't find it till 6:30 and then alerted the authorities. Our mutual friend was barely alive by the time they got there and broke in. Her Mother, Boyfriend and 18yo son Haven't even bothered to go an see her in the hospital, Only one of them has called my friend to find out how she was (not the hospital) she may lose one of her legs from what she did and none of them seem to care about her or what will happen when she goes home. She has been asking the boyfriend to move out for most of the 2 years he has lived there and her mother is telling him to stay there she can go to rehab.
I don't know why but also hearing that one of my cousins and both my Besties are all having their second when at least one person in each relationship is depressed is making me upset that I am still struggling for #1 with a main reason for this being DH's Depression & meds is just making me feel the world is just falling apart. I am happy that they are all having kids but still so upset that I am not yet there.
I think is all hitting me a bot more this week with it being the EDD of what turned out to be a Chemical pregnancy/Miscarriage. I just needed to get it all out. No real need for a response just me ranting. Feeling that if I hear one more thing I am likely to explode with anger and frustration.