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  1. #21
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    I've been a stepmum for over 10 years, I personally don't think stepping on them BM's toes while she's already aggravated will help matters. If you avoiding going to pick up will help reduce the conflict between the parents, be the bigger person and don't go. You have this problem here because the parents can't cooperate to co-parent. If your partner goes up to ask her even very nicely why the child is saying this, she's definitely going to go defensive or may even counter attack. Kids this age can view things differently, being "mean" to them can actually be them being sent to bed without a second bowl of ice cream or being made to eat their vegies. It can be easily taken wrongly. I don't see a way out of discussing it with her though, if you're genuinely concerned and can't discuss it with her, DOCS can be involved and they can investigate.

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  3. #22
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    Hi Guys,

    I no longer go to pick up with the little miss as if my partner needs to speak to the mother we wont be civil.
    when I did to go pick up I always stayed in the car, if she came to the car I would say hi but she never bothered to say anything back.
    Last year I bought her a mother's day present just so when she got to pick the little miss up there would be a surprise.

    There is no history of domestic violence and while I dont see the issue in knowing where she lives at least advise of the suburb just for peace of mind.

    I have been with my partner for 2 years and have a good relationship with him and his daughter. She definately has taking a liking for me and I treat her how I imagine I would treat my own.

    We definately will start documenting and taking pictures and I appreciate all your responses.
    The GP suggestion does sound positive.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I dont agree them spoiling the BM is not going to help people need to toughen up, the relationship is over this new woman is in the childs life the BM needs to shut up and deal with it be a grown up and realize she lost him someone else scooped him up and her daughter is a package deal the new family should not walk on ice around her.
    What on earth does this have to do with the OP?
    I don't bring my lover to pick up and drop offs and thankfully my XDP has enough respect for me to return that favour. What on earth can be gained by throwing your weight around like a big bully. Kids are NOT a package deal.

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    delirium  (13-03-2012),Plan A  (12-03-2012),River Song  (13-03-2012)

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by StepMummy1 View Post
    Hi Guys,

    I no longer go to pick up with the little miss as if my partner needs to speak to the mother we wont be civil.
    when I did to go pick up I always stayed in the car, if she came to the car I would say hi but she never bothered to say anything back.
    Last year I bought her a mother's day present just so when she got to pick the little miss up there would be a surprise.

    There is no history of domestic violence and while I dont see the issue in knowing where she lives at least advise of the suburb just for peace of mind.

    I have been with my partner for 2 years and have a good relationship with him and his daughter. She definately has taking a liking for me and I treat her how I imagine I would treat my own.

    We definately will start documenting and taking pictures and I appreciate all your responses.
    The GP suggestion does sound positive.
    Good luck, hope it gets better

  7. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by StepMummy1 View Post
    Hi Guys,

    I no longer go to pick up with the little miss as if my partner needs to speak to the mother we wont be civil.
    when I did to go pick up I always stayed in the car, if she came to the car I would say hi but she never bothered to say anything back.
    Last year I bought her a mother's day present just so when she got to pick the little miss up there would be a surprise.

    There is no history of domestic violence and while I dont see the issue in knowing where she lives at least advise of the suburb just for peace of mind.

    I have been with my partner for 2 years and have a good relationship with him and his daughter. She definately has taking a liking for me and I treat her how I imagine I would treat my own.

    We definately will start documenting and taking pictures and I appreciate all your responses.
    The GP suggestion does sound positive.
    ** Oops I meant to write "she wont be civil" not "we"!!


 

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