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  1. #11
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    I went through this as well! I think being a girl I wanted to have that special mum-daughter relationship (I'm very close to my mum) and I just wanted to dress my baby pretty! My Dh was so excited to have a son and it made me feel better knowing I was giving him a son! All fathers want son and mum want daughters we want to be role models for our children! Looking back now my DS was absolutely perfect! Perfect sleeper; feeder; an he never cries! We are so close now! I agree with earlier posts go out and buy a little boys outfit! Start picking names; planning nursery! Ul forget all about having a girl! And it's only ur first I'm now pregnant with a girl! And it feels weird I just assumed I would have a boy I associate all my Preg and baby feelings to my son and now I'm having this girl it's weird!

  2. #12
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    You asked if someone could tell you some positive things about having a boy; Well, every child is different, but the love you will feel for your son will be the single strongest and most genuine emotion you will ever feel.
    My son is the light of my life. As a mother, it wont matter that "he is a he". Every milestone he reaches will be just as rewarding as they would be if you had a daughter.
    If it's the girly stuff you had your heart set on, like dresses, dolls, dancing... whatever... well you wont miss that stuff because you've never had it, IYKWIM?
    And you can have exactly the same relationship with a son as you can with a daughter; my son is my best friend, my little buddy.
    I really don't know what else to say except that you will come to terms with having a son. Love is love and once here is in your life, everything you felt about not wanting a boy will melt away.. it wont matter, trust me.

  3. #13
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    I felt some disappointment when I found out my first was a boy. It took weeks to come around to reality. It was all forgotten once he was born, and he's been the nicest part of the last 13 years.

    Now he has a baby sister, and he is a loving big brother for her to grow up with.

    Good luck, I hope you feel more at peace soon.

  4. #14
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    I'm having the opposite feeling- am currently pregnant with our third daughter and I am terribly disappointed we don't get a boy. When we found out dd2 was a girl, eh cried and said we could try in a few years for a boy. We did and we end up with another girl. I desperately wanted a boy, and I know DH did too. We love our girls but a little man would have been nice. And it made it that bit harder because all our family and friends kept saying this will be boy. When I told my mum it was a girl her reaction was "oh no! How is DH coping?" because everyone had built it up so much about having a boy. I bought her first outfit yesterday and felt a familiar xcitement. I know even though I was/am disappointed we dont get a boy, it doesn't mean I will love our daughter any less.

  5. #15
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    Yeah I just want to be clear with my earlier post and most ppl would agree just because I prefferred ds to be a girl I never stopped loving him and I certainly don't love him any less he is my everything! Sometime u just need some time so deal with the babies gender it's a normal process Preg hormones are mostly to blame!

  6. #16
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    For me, gender disappointment was part of the reason it was hard for me to bond with ds to begin with. Some people might think that's horrible. I shrug and say "That's just what happened".
    I love him to death now, have done since he was about 3 months old. But prior to that it was a lot of taking care of a bub that whilst I liked him and thought he was cool, I hadn't 'fallen in love' with him yet.
    I've been completely smitten with him ever since he gave me his first intentionally wide mouthed, toothless grin .

    GD wasn't the whole reason, but it was a part of it. The other part was mostly the midwives at the hospital keeping him away from me and not letting me see him for the first 12 hours of his life, and me being a first time mum I didn't know what I was and wasn't allowed to ask for. So yeah...

    Don't be ashamed and don't feel like you're a bad person. Anyone that would judge you that way just doesn't understand .

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by stretch View Post
    I could have written your post almost word for word!

    I found out on Tuesday that we're are expecting a boy - should be excited right? WRONG! I really really wanted another little girl - but I think my reasons are purely selfish and un-justified.

    If we had another girl, we would be financially better off (I kept ALL of DDs things as I just assumed it would be another girl - DH had a daughter from a previous r/ship, then our dd together... So the logic was there...)
    I'm scared of having a boy. What if I can't bond with him, what if I don't know what I'm doing? What if he isn't anything like DD - will I be able to cope with a boy?! The fact that I'm going from 1 child to 2 is scary enough - but now throw a boy into it!! All the names DH likes, I don't and vice versa... Why could he not just be a she!!!

    Everyone I've spoken to says that it's completely normal and once he arrives, all my concerns will fly out the window.

    I think I knew in my heart it was going to be a boy - I just didn't want my head to admit it!

    I would give it a few days/week, let it sink in. Head to the shops and buy yourself a cute little blue outfit and let yourself fall In love.

    But let it be known - your not alone in your thoughts! *hugs*
    I could have written this 16 weeks ago and I guess if I'm honest I'm still trying to come to terms with it, even though I feel crap admitting it, and would never admit it to anyone I know . I'm scared how I'm going to bond and if I'll have that same feeling when I saw DD. We didn't find out the first time as I really didn't mind what we had, but having now had one girl all the practical things (clothes, toys etc) come to mind as well as the emotional.
    I felt loads better once I'd done up the babys room in boys things. So basically I do think this is a normal feeling, and like you said at the end of the day we are lucky to be having healthy little babies.

  8. #18
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    We have 2 boys thanks to ICSI and love them to bits. Wasn't upset to be having another boy at all, in actual fact having a girl freaks me out but we are contemplating trying for a third and had decided if we were to try again we would do sex selection overseas to be able to have a girl to balance and complete the family but the idea is sounding too difficult to me, having to spend so much time over there and having the boys with us will make it difficult while we are doing our business not to mention the huge cost, just unsure whether we will go through with it or not and the more I think about it I really wouldn't be fussed if we have another boy. Will see how it all pans out.

  9. #19
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    omg, this thread is so me. OP has so echoed my feelings.
    I thought i was a horrible person for feeling this way!!
    I don't even know if i am having a boy yet, but i so want it to be another girl. I cannot imagine myself having a son, the whole concept feels foreign (and somehow wrong) to me. I had the same feeling with DD, but she turned out a girl so i didn't have to worry.
    I am so scared of finding out its a boy and how i will feel about it!!?? I know deep down that i will love him as much as DD, but i keep feeling like i won't have the same bond i have with her.. she is my absolute world!! It's a horrible feeling, and i feel absolutely rotten for feeling this way!

  10. #20
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    I feel really guilty for also feeling this way initially as I was lucky to get pregnant anyway with 2 boys via IVF ICSI 18 1/2 mths apart.

    My youngest is only 14 weeks and such a happy smily baby. My oldest boy (21mths) is an absolute delight and I feel very blessed, he is a split image of my hubby and georgeous. After having him and seeing how close we are it didn't worry me having another boy.

    I love it when DS1 goes to bed and he says "kizz mumma!!" and he gives me a flower from our garden. He is only young but I'm sure we will always have a close bond and hopefully his new baby brother will also have a his caring nature.

    Your feelings are perfectly understandable but once your boy is here you will not be able to imagine life without him as I do.


 

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