Mother cares more about guys than children.

[serendipity22]

The mother of my children is hardly with our 2 children (we libe in different states).and has spent much of the last few years telephone dating and sleeping around.

She met her last boyfriend through telephone dating. Ladies, I need a reality check here. Would you go on a blind date with someone who told you they were on a rape charhe? Not only that, he has two types of psychological disorders, has sociapathic tendencies, anger/control issues and has no money. Anyway she was imprisoned for 3 days and I called the police to get her home.

First of all she complained how bad it was and then she went back to him a few days later. She is spending all her time on him and not on the childfen.

Last year she went to the USA on holiday for several months. She was interstate for about 6 weeks this year (and was interstate last year too).
Ive never seen anything like it, she doesnt seem to have bonded with the children.

I'm quite upset about the way she behaves. She gets money from centrelink, pays not rent or board and does very little around the house.

If I say I am thinking of moving to her town to help look after the kids she screams blue murder. She is forever lying about me to her grandmother who believes whatever she says.

Im livid and ready to spit the dummy.

[bpac]

Omg what a horrible situation to be in, you must feel so helpless.
I would never do anything like that
My suggestion is record everything keep a diary and fight for your kids, they need you just as much as you need them

Hugs

[Nazgul]

The mother of my children is hardly with our 2 children (we libe in different states).and has spent much of the last few years telephone dating and sleeping around.

She met her last boyfriend through telephone dating. Ladies, I need a reality check here. Would you go on a blind date with someone who told you they were on a rape charhe? Not only that, he has two types of psychological disorders, has sociapathic tendencies, anger/control issues and has no money. Anyway she was imprisoned for 3 days and I called the police to get her home.

First of all she complained how bad it was and then she went back to him a few days later. She is spending all her time on him and not on the childfen.

Last year she went to the USA on holiday for several months. She was interstate for about 6 weeks this year (and was interstate last year too).
Ive never seen anything like it, she doesnt seem to have bonded with the children.

I'm quite upset about the way she behaves. She gets money from centrelink, pays not rent or board and does very little around the house.

If I say I am thinking of moving to her town to help look after the kids she screams blue murder. She is forever lying about me to her grandmother who believes whatever she says.

Im livid and ready to spit the dummy.

Can I ask, if you live in a different state, how do you know all this is going on?
Just need clarification.

[Bubbles10]

if you are concerned for the kids you can go to court and apply for custody.

apart from her ability to care for the kids, what she does is really none of your business.

[Benji]

Spit the dummy OP. Believe me, I've tried to get my son's father to be a decent dad but if people don't want it there's nothing you can do to force it.

I can't gather from your post whether the children live with you or not but I think they are much better off with you in a stable environment TBH and by the sounds of things she'd likely jump at the chance if she doesn't really want to be a parent.

As a PP mentioned, I'd look into the family court

[shelle65]

Who is looking after the children while their mother is out/away? Is it a responsible adult? If so, how she chooses to live her life really is of no concern for you.

Receiving centrelink has absolutely nothing to do with how much work is done around the house.

If you wish to see more of your children then that is a different issue altogether. Rather than spitting the dummy I recommend you obtain some legal advice and get some court orders in place.

Good luck

[onkybear]

This is going to be kinda harsh, but I make no apologies for that. If I could see you irl I would have my hands on your shoulders asking why the h3ll are you not doing anything!!!

Reality check is stop talking, getting angry or sitting on the sidelines about it. Get off your butt and get the ball rolling to do something about this.

First step go to court and get a court order for DNA tests.
Move closer to the kids. Get a place and work and set up a room for them.
Get orders in place to start seeing your kids
When they are ready take them on full time.

This has been going on for far too long. Those poor kids need someone to stand up for them. I do not know a single person irl that would stand for there kids being treated the way you describe. You have no control over what ex does in her personal life, and so you shouldnt. But you CAN do something for these kids.

[serendipity22]

Can I ask, if you live in a different state, how do you know all this is going on?
Just need clarification.

I go interstate regularly and was there the incident in the first two paragraphs was mentioned.

First step go to court and get a court order for DNA tests.

Got results back last week, yup their mine.

Who is looking after the children while their mother is out/away?

A great aunt who is a responsible adult but works full-time, and the great-grandmother whose heart is in the right place but has a bad leg and Ive had a few issues with such as her feeding the 5 year old formula milk, though that issue has been fixed up. They are sort of managing. Its pretty hard on them.
Naturally they want her to spend more time with the kids.

Receiving centrelink has absolutely nothing to do with how much work is done around the house.

I had these in the same sentence but they were not connected. I mentioned centrelink because someone in her family once said she should be cut off single Mums pension and put on the dole (which is a fair bet less) and the real carers should get a carers pension.

Actually, things are much better in some ways than they were.

I prefer not to bring in the court, welfare etc if at all possible, though a trip to a legal centre is not out of the question.. Despite what it may seem I get along pretty well with the mother and family almost all the time. Its been a bit up and down with the great-granny but its better somewhat. She has been highly abusive to me in the past.