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  1. #11
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    I don't see anything wrong with his mum wanting a tatoo of his name!! What does your DF think?

  2. #12
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    Regardless of how he came into her care, he still thinks of her as his mother right? So it is no different to you having your kids names? Or is the age that bothers you? It kind of sounds like it more about her than about the tattoo... I do get that though! Trust me!

    Have you spoken to him about it? How does he feel?

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    What do you mean by 'illegal channels'??

    Forget the tattoo, that's the bit that would weird me out.
    Basically, she met DF's bio mum while she was having fertility treatments and bio mum was pregnant with DF. She was in an abusive relationship and asked mil to care for DF til she got back on her feet. Nothing was legally documented or anything, mil just took DF home from the hospital when he was 5 days old. Mil's husband (DF's dad) was in the army and so they travelled the country a lot and didn't keep in contact with bio mum. They just kept DF and I believe when he was school age they had him declared an 'abandoned child' and they became his legal guardians.

    Because of they way things were done, he has no documentation to prove his identity etc. Mil changed his name and obviously he has there surname as well but she never did it legally thru births, deaths and marriages. He has a drivers license which he got as a teenager with his school principle having to sign a stat dec saying that's the name he's always known him by. We can't get married and he can't access centrelink payments because he doesn't have a birth certificate. It's almost like, at age 31, he doesn't exist on paper.

  4. #14
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    Holey Dooley. She basically stole him! That poor birth mother. Please look after my child (til presumably she escapes her abusive partner) does not mean please take my child, change his name, and move away.

    But, that's really a whole different kettle of fish from the tattoo issue. No I don't find it odd given the history that she wants his name tattooed on her wrist.

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  6. #15
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    I don't think the tattoo is weird - my Mum is almost 50 and has our names tattooed and she's going to get DD's name tattooed.

    But, the whole 'I'll look after your baby until everything's sorted out' - that's a whole different story!! Your poor DF! And the birth mother!

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    Holey Dooley. She basically stole him! That poor birth mother. Please look after my child (til presumably she escapes her abusive partner) does not mean please take my child, change his name, and move away.






    Anyway... back to topic, I don't think it's weird for a Mother to get her child's name tattooed regardless of their age (of the child or parent ). Helllllo pot! Just kidding

  8. #17
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    Holy crap...
    There is no way he can get some type of piece of paper that says he is a person? Some kind of birth certificate/or legal document... I really dont know much about this sorry...
    But that would suck.. Can he even get a passport?

    As for the tatoo.. I'm kinda on the fence.. After reading what she did.. And yes she pretty much stole him!
    I'm thinking it's a little obsessive?

    If she was "giving" him and not "lent" him than I think it would be different..
    To me getting the tat would kind of mean she was proud with what she did..

    But than again she obviously loves him like he was her own child, maybe she just wants the tat because of innocent reasons.

  9. #18
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    Straaaange. Can he not find his birth mother, surely she would have his birth certificate? Or there must be some way to get around this situation so it can be resolved ? How confusing.

  10. #19
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    Wow so she just stole him? His poor bio Mum!

  11. #20
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    I'm must admit I think it is a bit weird! Why do old people need to have tattoo's done? She could of had his name tattoo'd on her years ago! I'd almost see it as "He is my son and your just his wife"

    My "MIL" is not a very motherly person. My df is not that close with her, nor his dad. If my "MIL" wanted to suddenly get his name on her. I would be a bit confused to be honest !

    On the subject of him being "stolen". I think he needs to somehow obtain an identity. It's not fair on him to miss out on marriage or the chance to travel etc. Can he just get the birth certificate off the bio mum if he doesnt want a relationship with her?


 

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