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  1. #1
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    Default Do you tell / will you tell people your baby was IVF?

    Just wondering who has/will tell people their bub was a result of ivf? We've already told immediate family we're expecting and have told some that it was ivf and not others because we're not sure they'd understand.

    I realise that's it's noones business really but I would probably be inclined to tell our child down the track as they too might have fertility issues!

    What's everyone's thoughts on this?

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    I tell anyone and everyone

    Our little girl will know the whole story, and we want to make sure that everyone she knows, knows it too that way if she ever brings it up, she won't be met by suprise. I guess there will be the odd person here and there, or at school, but I feel that with us never hiding it, which could be taken as shame or embarrassment by a small child, she will feel like it's totally normal

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    We do tell people our kids are IVF. I am extremely proud of the fact that I've had 3 kids through very difficult circumstances. I don't bring it up with people out of context but if it's relevant I will say something. I think it's easier now we're no longer doing IVF as it's just part of our family history. Pffft to anyone who doesn't understand by god in this day and age get over it!

    I will tell my kids when they're older. I don't want to tell them too early as they may not understand and kids sometimes have enough trouble feeling "different". One of DD1's best friends at school was conceived using IVF so I think it will become more common as they get older.
    Last edited by Sonja; 06-03-2012 at 17:16.

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    Ulysses  (07-03-2012)

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    I hope I'm not intruding by replying in this section. I only have 1 or 2 cycles left of the current treatment before IVF is our next option, so I do follow these threads sometimes.

    I just wanted to say that my parents had (what I think is) a nice way of dealing with it. They required fertility assistance to have me, and from as early as I can remember they told me that I was 'so wanted' and 'so precious' because of it.

    I always grew up knowing what they had to go through to get me, and it has made me appreciate how much they wanted me as a baby.

    For that reason, I will tell DD that we had fertility assistance to have her and, if the next one is born by IVF then I will tell him/ her the same.

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    jessesgirl  (07-03-2012),LoCo  (07-03-2012)

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    We used iui when TTC out first bub. Dd ended up coming by herself bit I had plans to be completely honest with any child as a result of fertility treatment. I'll probably still talk to then about our fertility issues and how we wanted them so much we did everything trying to have them.
    I think telling kids about Ivf is just the same as telling them about s3x Ed and that when I'll probably tell my children when s3x Ed starts happening

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    IVF isn't a secret for us. No idea why it should be either.
    To draw a direct parallel to other medical issues, when telling the story about breaking my leg I'm not ashamed to say that I went to the doctor and had it X-rayed then plastered because I knew I couldn't heal it on my own, without medical intervention.

    And are you sure the kids won't be relieved to be able to say, "No, my parents didn't have s3x, I was conceived using IVF."

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    Ulysses  (07-03-2012)

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    If we are lucky enough I will be telling people, I hate that it seems to be such a taboo topic, I love the fact my parents friends have an ivf son and are open about it as it has given me someone I know I can talk too

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    For us it's mixed.

    I tell people if it's in context in a convo (our family and close freinds know all know).

    But my DH doesn't like it, we had to do IVF for MFI as he has so much chemotherapy/radiotherapy and he's ashamed of his MFI and hates talking about his cancer - and inevitably that comes up during the IVF chit chat. I believe that DH hasn't told any of his work mates / not so close friends who knew his post cancer as he hates talking about the cancer stuff.

    What I'm keen to know is - how and when do you tell the child? When is the right time to mention it?!?

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    Hope77 Congratulations on your BFP! I also got my BFP in Feb - EDD 23/10/12
    I'm very open about IVF and have found some great friends especially when starting playgroup, when you bring it into the open so many other mums tell you their stories. I even have a close friend who had her baby via surrogacy. Also think it's kind of special to tell the child one day when they are old enough how much you wanted them.

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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    Quote Originally Posted by felicita View Post

    And are you sure the kids won't be relieved to be able to say, "No, my parents didn't have s3x, I was conceived using IVF."
    hahahaha….so true. At least they wont have to cringe at the thought.


 

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