My mother is a heavy smoker, she smokes about 40 a day and always has. She is very overweight too. She is 52. When growing up my siblings and I always asked her to stop smoking and she laughed at us and used to say " sher when I'm dead and gone it won't matter..." her attitude of I don't really care what you think about my smoking really used to upset me and in many ways drove a massive wedge between us. We don't get on for many other reasons also.
Now I have 2 children and in my life my grandparents were very important people in my life ( despite my mother absolutely hating my dads mother) I am determined my children will have as close a relationship as they possibly can with their grandparents despite my mother and I not being able to be in the same room together for 2 mins. Although they are in Ireland we Skype every day twice a day. DD loves it and really is getting to know them via Skype. However on Skype my mother chain smokes, I tell DD that's granny smoking horrible cigarettes, just to create a bad association with the cigarettes.
Today I was on Skype and DD was gone to daycare so just mother and I. She could hardly talk as she has a cold/chest infection and of course she was chain smoking. I told her to cut back or she will make herself sicker... Anyways a row started, I told her that I was sickened that she wouldnt give up or cut back for our( me and my siblings) sakes but now she has 3 grandchildren who she needs to be fit and healthy for and she can't be bothered... I told her what am I supposed to say to DD if granny dies... Anyways she called me every name under the sun and hung up on me.
I'm so bloody angry at her and almost feel like saying why should I bother letting DD get to know her . Also my mother works as a nurses aid, she goes to the houses of elderly dying people and looks after them, she sees cancer every day... You'd think that would make her stop? She earns a good wage but complains she can't afford to come to Australia for a holiday... If she halved her cigarette intake she could well afford it. Also she won't get on a plane as she can't smoke for 13 he's straight...
I'm so angry right now. Smoking has in many ways ruined my relationship with my mother, my dad had a lung X-ray done and the doc told him to give up smoking as his lungs are in a bad way... He has never smoked a cigarette in his life! My mother ignores all if this and continues to light up in bed first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
I know it's an addiction and I know like any addiction the person needs to want to give up. I just can't understand why she won't even try.
Selfish selfish bi@ch .
Sorry for the long rant I'm really mad right now.