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  1. #1
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    Default How did you choose....

    Hi everyone!

    Tomorrow DP & I will get our availible donor list ! Just wondering what methods or process did you go through to agree on the right donor?

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    Gf & I originally asked an old interstate friend, and we did a few home inseminations with him, but he had to back out. Then we had to do IVF. If we'd gone to a Qld IVF clinic, we could have had much choice from paid anonymous US donors, but gf was adopted and never knew who her genetic father was, and wishes our kid to have the choice to find out re theirs. Plus, different country. We knocked back an offer from a friend whose willing fiance was a little bit MRA-ish and sperm-count-proud.

    So in the end we got a choice of 2 donors from SA via the IVF clinic. Two! But in the end it didn't really matter much to us. Hereditary traits are really not that big a deal to us. Happy and healthy was the main thing. One donor was gay (a big plus), uni educated, history of heart disease & allergies, profile not very fleshed out. The other donor was straight, already had kids, labourer, disgustingly healthy, descriptive profile.

    Who cares about the uni educated or labourer, right? Bit classist to think it's going to matter or make much difference to anything. In the end we went with healthy plus fleshed out profile, cos I thought health is something that can be hereditary, and make your life pretty miserable if you don't have it. Or that of the parents looking after the child. (I have a chronic illness likely with a genetic link; it's no fun being saddled with it.) And a nice profile to read (that sounds like the donor gives a s@%t) is a bonus as the kid may want to read it a lot at a youngish age.

    And if you fell in love with a dude, would you genetically profile him first? In case you one day wanted to have kids? Nope, unless you're being racist or something.

    But *shrug* I know different parents have different priorities with these matters.
    Last edited by Kite; 16-03-2012 at 14:19.

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    My housemates had to choose when they went through ivf. O e had a 10 year old daughter already so they chose a donor who had looks similar to hers so that maybe the baby would have similar colouring/hair/eyes as her big sister. It also was so that te 10 year old could see a similarity and have a greater bond with bub

    Now bub is here and she has beautiful blue eyes, just like her big sister :-)

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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Our list is:

    - Healthy
    - Similar colouring to DP

    That's pretty much it. Health is the priority. I guess we'll look at baby photos and that'll shape the decision, but it's by no means the most important consideration. We're choosing from Xytec, so there's a wide selection of possible donors.

    Good luck!

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    We had 4 brief profiles to choose from (no photos). We went with the healthiest one, he also was the one with eye/hair/skin colouring closest to me. The one who sounded more like DP had heart and weight issues, so we decided against him.

    If we have a 2nd child we are planning to use DP's egg and the same donor so the children are genetically related.

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    We had a pile of donors to choose from, we immediately took out ones with health issues, weirdos that are doing it for the wrong reasons. We looked for guys with good reasons for donating, with similar colourings to my DP and were willing to meet any children that were produced if the children wanted to, and just someone who had similar interests. It's a hard thing to do my advice is to go with the one that 'feels right'. Good luck.

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    Thanks eVeryone! Sounds like everybody uses the same logic, it can just seem like such a daunting task! Glad to hear the happy endings!! We had a Xytec list too Rainbow & there was only 4 real candidates for us. We ended up getting our 3rd choice but he was DP number one at one stage so he was still very suitable (& healthy) & we liked his personality the best too! So now we just wait & hope he has good little swimmers!!!

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    Default How did you choose....

    That's great news!!!!! We were very fortunate to get a donor with similar cultural background as my partner so we are very excited lol.

    Are any of you interested in siblings born from your donors?

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    Interesting! I guess it changes every day depending on what happens with other women.

    We'll be picking ours in a few weeks. NERVOUS!!!

    Broomdyke, yes we'd be interested in siblings - just to know they're there. Xytex cryo has a fb page and a lot of people search for Xytex siblings on it.

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    Default How did you choose....

    Youre very lucky to have access to that lol


 

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