I too would find it disturbing if a woman did this to my children. Maybe that's because of my upbringing??? My family aren't overly affectionate people. And for family to be overly affectionate with my children would make me uncomfortable.
Obviously the OP knows this person and the 'vibe' he is giving out, so reading this thread tells me that he is over stepping the bounds that she thinks are appropriate behaviors for interacting with her children.
And Nazgul yes most definitely I would keep my kids away from anyone with a drug history.