I have had a thought over the weekend that maybe my DH is a bit depressed and would like some feedback as its not something I have experienced.
He is grouchy and flat a lot, he is constantly tired, doing things that he hasn't initiated are usually a big effort or he only does them (unwillingly) because I get cross if he doesn't (like putting a screw in our ceiling for a hammock for DD - a 5 minute job that I asked him to do all weekend until he snapped yesterday afternoon and stomped around angrily and snapped at DS who was trying to help), he is unmotivated with exercising and eating well.
He does interact with DS but not as actively as I would like, he isn't very patient with him and gets snappy and short with him instead of diverting or distracting from bad behaviour or tantrums.
He has always been a pretty laid-back guy, not really a get-up-and-go type, so the change in him is not dramatic - more a slow process that has got me more and more unhappy and now I've had enough. I'm only 25, a SAHM and I would like our weekends to be fun filled and pleasant, not me being flat and grumpy because he is and I get disapointed. We do have very different personalities too which makes it hard because I'm motivated and like to do things away from home (because I'm home a lot) whereas he would be happy to sit around and watch tv/listen to music/sleep all weekend.
He does, however, like to spend time with his friends or brothers (having beers while watching cricket/footy, fishing, having a jam with his casual band, etc) and this makes me wonder if he is just not happy with our home life, not depressed. He also never misses a day of work and always gets up and leaves home with no fuss or moaning.
I have looked at the beyondblue site and their depression checklist but I'm really unsure where he falls. According to their score that I did based on what *I* think his symptoms are, he got a 17 which means moderate risk. I mentioned the depression theory to DH on the phone earlier today and he said he hadn't thought of it before but wasn't outraged when I suggested it. I told him that I'm unhappy and not enjoying our time together as a family it needs to change.
So if your DH is otherwise a regular kind of guy (works, doesn't have any major issues like drugs or drinking or violence, is essentially a good partner and father) but is also depressed, what does it look like?
Any advice or thoughts welcome.