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  1. #31
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    And p.s no, not all men cheat, you've just had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing a few scummy ones that do

  2. #32
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I'm so sorry to read this You must be experiencing so many different emotions right now. I would strongly recommend going to stay with family - even if they don't live nearby, fly to them. You need support right now.

    I also think you should look at seeing a counsellor who specialises in pregnancy related grief (such counsellors are very familiar with these sort of situations).

    Where are you at the moment?

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tses View Post
    Ok my parents came over an hour ago and chatted with me. Both want me to work things out with DH and forgive him one more time.

    At the moment I am just numb, I don't want to think about anything.
    I just read this part. I'm sorry to hear that they have been unsupportive It's not up to them as to whether you work things out with him, it's up to YOU and you only.

  4. #34
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    I agree with everyone - I think you should kick him out and get control of your life back. I also agree that your parents advice isn't good. My parents would probably say the same thing, but honestly no-one deserves to be treated the way your husband is treating you. And this conciliatory, submissive wife attitude is outdated - they shouldn't be trying to thrust it upon you.

    I also want to say I know you are hurt and things are really tough currently. But honestly, not all men cheat. Some do, and they are the ones best left for women happy to cheat on them too or live the lie. But many, many men are faithful, committed partners - you deserve one of those guys, and he is out there, waiting for you to be free of this person who doesn't value you the way you should be valued.

    Whatever you decide, let it be your decision - not one you were talked into by well-meaning parents, a guilty husband scared of what people will think of his cheating ways, etc. Good luck. x

  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to becandabub For This Useful Post:

    BaronessM  (05-03-2012),glowingjoh  (06-03-2012),MegaGuts  (04-03-2012),Tses  (06-03-2012)

  6. #35
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    I was in a similar situation, my ex-DH left when I was 20 weeks pregnant with my second child. Although at the time I didn't know why, he shacked up with a girl 10 years younger shortly afterward so I'm assuming it was prior to leaving that something was going on.

    It hurts, it aches and its hard and it takes a while to heal but it does happen. As for me, 7 years after the event, I have a beautiful little boy who doesn't yet understand that his father abondoned him but knows that I love him to pieces and he is "mine". Don't get me wrong, I felt like you at the time but once he was born I fell in love with him and to this day I don't regret having him.

    I have now met a wonderful man, we are married with a child and another on the way. You too deserve better than this, once the fear of being alone with a child is overcome you will be o.k.

    Oh - and just in case, withdraw all the money you can out of your joint account before you confront him with any monetry issues.


    Thinking of you.

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    MegaGuts  (04-03-2012)

  8. #36
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    Sorry but I agree your patents advice is rubbish!!!!!

    It's not the first time I agree with others do it once shame on him, twice shame on you!

    He's had his second chance and not even you being UTD can stop him, once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!!!!

    Withdrawal what you can from joint account and contact centrelink ASAP, I agree also no matter what is happening in your friends lives if they are true friends they will drop everything to support you!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tses View Post
    Ok my parents came over an hour ago and chatted with me. Both want me to work things out with DH and forgive him one more time.

    At the moment I am just numb, I don't want to think about anything.
    Can't believe your parents gave you that advice

    You have given him a chance already and he did it again, and he will do it again he won't change. Don't bring a baby into that sort of relationship. Get out on your own, you and baby will be fine, it will just take time and be tough at first.

  10. #38
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    DITO to all the above!
    There is alot of great advice here. And I'm happy one of the BH men posted also.
    its so true that you deserve better. So does your Bub, he cheated on he/she also!
    Follow the money advice, get backup from your friends...they WILL want to help you with this. If its easier for you to leave, your friends can help you to do it while he's at work. Tho I think he should be the one to move out, I wouldn't stick around.

    I'd also tell the world what he did! This is HIS SHAME not yours!!!

    All the best, let us know how you go
    we are all here behind you
    Love and

  11. #39
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    having been cheated on in the past I look at things a bit differently, kicking him out now only treats the symptoms of cheating, I believe people cheat for a reason, find out what that reason is and try to fix the problem then if the problem can not be fixed show him the door and make sure it hits him on the way out.

    I can see (not understand) why your parents said that, maybe they think bub will be better off with parents together but I think this is incorrect, I'd much rather have separated parents that are happy in themselves and with their life than parents that stay together and despise each other or fight alot.

    good luck with what ever you decide sometimes the easiest decision is not always the best. thoughts are with you

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    First and foremost big hugs

    Just to let you know that you are not alone. I found out at 30 weeks that my partner was cheating on me (I'm 33 weeks today). As you know your whole life gets turned upside down. I have to move home to my mothers as I can not sustain my current life style on just the paid parental leave. Mine has just up and left. He's left me to pack the house up, pay for all the bills and left a whole trail of destruction in his wake. SPINELESS!

    As much as it may seem that your life is out of control at the moment, it will eventually work itself out. Just be glad that you found out now and not later on. I'm glad that I am going through all of this now so that when my beautiful baby arrives I can focus only on her.

    My real delema is that everyone I know is saying that the baby shouldn't take his surname. I know that he stuffed up big big big time but I also know that it will break his heart if I choose my surname.

    Stay strong and focus on your baby.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Pepadzbaby For This Useful Post:

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