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  1. #61
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    Hi Ladies

    btmac: thanks for the words of support. I do feel a little better today. Most of the people I work with are really supportive and try to accommodate my moods, which thankfully haven't been too bad but I am letting things get to me a little. So happy to hear your dh will be home soon for nearly 3 weeks. Here's hoping your little one will give a kick or 2 while he's home!

    I'm starting to get nervous/excited/freaked out, around this time next week I should be jabbing and poking. How on earth is it possible not to obssess?? Dear me, I've even taken to baking to distract me. No wonder I've put on a few kilos.

    Thinking of you all

  2. #62
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    Hi all

    I am laying beachside drinking my last bintang catching a final few rays before checkout in 2 hours :-( then a wonder to Ku De Ta for a snack a last drink and catch a cab to airport for my friends flight then wait another few hours for mine!! Fly to Sydney get in at 6ish wait til 11ish then Cairns -sigh will be exhausted! Thank goodness for qantas club!

    Lovely ladies those who bake I have given up as my hubbie and both want to increase our fitness... But I am addicted to brownies red velvet cake carrot cake so feel free to bake for me can't refuse a homemade gift :-)

    Can't wait to see my hubbie I have missed him so much it's our 9month anniversary to day :-)

  3. #63
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    Hoppy Easter Everybunny!

    djturner - A belated welcome from me (a fellow Tsv - QFGer) - I hope your spirits have recovered and you are settling in for the next round. Acupuncture is a great idea - and if I could get down to Tsv on a regular basis I would get it weekly.

    Kahu - thanks for the warm fuzzies...I'm glad that I've got you gals here who understand what it's like! The weather has been glorious for gardening - I hope you've enjoyed getting stuck in!

    Amps - I'm all for the meltdowns - it cleans out the pipes...(Had my very own today) - hope you've enjoyed time with your DH. As for obsessing - impossible not to!

    Btmac - Yay for having DH home in May! I don't know how you do it! It must be like a honeymoon each time he comes home!? I'm about to batch it for a couple a weeks while dh has to work away and I've already got the sads.

    Bella - I hope you've had a fab time and feel rejuvenated! Always nice to get away for a bit.

    Sunny15 - Thanks for your hugs chick! I'm in the middle of trying to decide what to do next.

    AFM - What to do.... where to go... Can we afford it... (Q's I'm sure you've all pondered on your journeys). I've had a big old cry today - its the first day that I've really had to myself since I got my BFN. It seems that my ovaries don't want to play the game - and I've been reading, reading, reading to see if I can do anything that might make a difference to someone like me who responds to stims like someone with POF - but naturally is still cycling regularly with hormone levels within the normal limits. Just wish I could get some answers...

    :x Shazzy

  4. #64
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    Hi Ladies
    sorry about the "me" moment but I need to vent a little. It's after 1am and I haven't been able to sleep at all. I've started getting signs af will be arriving in a few days more or less, which is about normal. It's really caught me off guard, I feel all nervous, excited, sick, anxious, happy and terrified all at once.
    On wednesday I am going to cfc to pay for our cycle and pick up my meds, the thought of handing over more than $8000 again is quite disturbing but we both agree if we don't have another crack at this we will regret it later on. Hopefully my acupuncture appointment will help de-stress me.
    It probably doesn't help I'm about to turn 39 in a bit over a week and that tick-tock sound is now like a big brass band going off in my head. My close friends have all had their children so they can't really relate.
    I've stocked up on pomegranate juice hoping it will help build up my lining. I don't like the taste but will try just about anything to have a family. My dh is even open to the thought of a surrogate now if needed.
    Omg, I've just read this back to myself and am going to say sorry again for the pity trip. Most of the time I am confident we are doing all we can and it will get us our bfp.

    Good luck everyone, sending you all

  5. #65
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    Amps Its understandable to have fears and doubts….this process is not easy, it is damn hard and made harder by having our partners away. Feel free to vent…we all know what you are going through…we have all been there ourselves. I will make you feel better about your birthday….I turn 47 on Sunday!! I definitely thought I would have a child by now….Im not ready to give up yet!!!

    Shazzymoo– Hope you feel better after your big cry (God knows I shed quite a few tears)…I think its necessary to move on. Decisions, Decisions…have you thought about a second opinion. Is there another clinic in Townsville besides QFG? Would you consider Cairns? A second opinion from another FS is not such a bad idea, even if you ultimately decide not to change FS….I recently read this comment by a British FS, “I tell my patients that you can give up on me but don’t give up on treatment as long as you have eggs”.

    Djturner06–I would definitely give acupuncture a go, but make sure you find someone that specialises in fertility and also IVF support. I am also a Kerri Adams devotee….she was devastated hearing of my BFN…I love her sessions and cant wait to get back into them. Are you any closer to your FET commencing? I agree with you about the pessaries….I would much rather give myself injections any day over pessaries.

    Btmac –Great news about DH’s home coming…you will have a wonderful 3 weeks. I hope the morning sickness doesn’t get too bad for you.

    Kahu – Howare you feeling…any morning sickness yet?

    Bellavista –Hope you had a fabulous time in Bali....it all goes too quickly. Looking forward to hearing of the next step in your IVF journey.

    AFM
    So Im back in the land of the living....cried and got angry at the world for a little while and yelled why, why, why!!

    Got in to see FS on Thursday afternoon....he said that he was very disappointed that the embryo didnt implant....well, imagine how disappointed I feel doc!!!!

    He went through my file and the only thing he can think that maybe having a negative effect is my increased Anti-nuclear anti-bodies (ANA) 1:464. He has referred me to another physician to get an 'expert' opinion on my ANA and treatment....he is reluctant to just put me on clexane without a second opinion. And of course she is busy, so I cant get in to see her until 8 May, which roughly translates to not cycling again for possibly 2 months. DARN IT. Thought it was supposed to be easier with donor eggs.....NOT!!! FS doesnt really want to suggest my next protocol until after my ANA appointment.

    So of course I dr googled over the weekend and I read that an increased ANA very basically means that red blood cells some how attack the red blood cells of an embryo and stops/kills the embryo from developing and therefore, it doesnt even get to a stage of implantation....if that is correct (given it is dr google), then it could explain why I have 5 out of 5 failed implantations - with my old eggs and also with much younger donor eggs.

    So its back to waiting for me

    Last edited by Sunny15; 11-04-2012 at 20:13.

  6. #66
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    Hi just a quick update from me...

    I saw the FS for a scan and my lining is only 7mm a little thin he felt but will rescan Friday with possible FET x 2 on Tuesday or Wednesday.
    I have now been diagnosed with a chest infection :-( feel terrible.
    My SIL who I am not close or friendly with although lives close rarely see her and h husband have just announced a 2nd pregnancy and I am devastated. I didn't expect it she has only just gone back to work in a new job part time he isn't working and hasn't for years. Far out its unreal how it makes you feel. I should be happy for them and I don't feel that way.

  7. #67
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    Bellavista - its totally understandable how you feel. My work nemesis announced she was 7 weeks pregnant with her 2nd not so long ago...get this, her words to me were "we were trying to fall pregnant but gutted it happened so soon", I felt like saying to her "well if your gutted, why the h*ll were you trying"....silly girl. She also made the same comment to a good work friend that recently had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 34.

    It all seems so unfair at times....I just recently went through hearing that a friend of a friend in her early 40's just got a BFP through her second IVF cycle. She goes to the same clinic and we have met for coffee quite a few times. She is totally naive when it comes to IVF, so I have advised and assisted her..she does not believe in acupuncture or positive visualisation, she just went through the motions of both...she actually had to take a long weekend away to decide whether to do this current IVF cycle or go on a holiday. She got her BFP and I am doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get a BFP...it doesnt seem fair. Dont get me wrong, I dont begrudge that she has got her BFP, but damn, I SO wish that it was me.

    Dont be too hard on yourself...I think we all feel the same when we are faced with someone else's pregnancies/babies. Take care

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Sunny15 For This Useful Post:

    Bellavista  (11-04-2012)

  9. #68
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    Sunny thanks for your kind words it's so lovely to have people here we can share the range of emotions we experience and not be judged for them. I feel for you greatly it's so random the ivf journey no rhyme or reason to when it works and when it doesn't. We just have to hang in and get through the journey to a hopefully successful pregnancy. I am positive yours will come and mine too. X

  10. #69
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    Hi Ladies!!!

    Bellavista: It sounds like you had a blast in Bali!
    I know how you feel about when you have people all around who only have to blink and they are pregnant. I work in an female industry and women would be on maternity leave, and then come back and they would be pregnant again, it was so hard and it really sucked. And then you get the insensitive people who say "oh all you need is a nice bottle of wine and a dirty weekend away" Really?? Dont you think that we have already tried that a number of times! I also have a friend who has a partner who is a major pot head and they fall at the drop of a hat. Sometimes its just not fair. I hope you are feeling better with your chest infection. Are you taking L-Argine to make your lining thicker? it is horrible stuff, but i ended up buying capsules and making my own pills, my DH thought it was so funny, here i am putting white powder into capsules , he took a photo and loaded it onto facebook...

    Sunny: Oh that is horrible, some people just dont think when they speak! As for your friend who doesnt believe in anything else, i have a friend who is the same and she has just fallen again with her second through IVF on her third cycle. I changed everything and i didnt care what people thought. Is there another specialist in the region who do the ANA treatment? Both you and Bella have all my positive thoughts and warm hugs going your way...


    btmac: i think i get what you are saying, everytime i go to the toilet, im expecting to see blood, or i think that im not pregnant. It is so hard to deal with those demons in my head, and i know i need to be more positive, but its really hard.

    Shazzy: sending hugs to you

    AFM: im travelling OK my scan was all good, and everything is on track. Its funny i had a 8.45 appointment, and i went in on time and walked out the door at 8.55, FS is so quick and its weird, something so personal and emotional and he is basically "in and out" Oh well. I have been struggling with major headaches, which is hard because i spend a lot of my work time behind a computer, but i guess its better than throwing up.
    I feel guilty now coming on to this chat page, because i have fallen on my first cycle and here you guys are all struggling after cycle after cycle. I totally understand that it does not happen that often to fall straight away, and i am very lucky, but i still feel guitly when i hear about all your pain that you are going through, and i can not relate to it. Sorry of the me stuff....

    but i do think about you all and i wish for you all to have that BFP in the very near future. sending you lots and lots of

  11. #70
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    waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting.................damn af, where are you???


 

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