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  1. #1
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    Default Child support, mediation and all of the above..

    Please.. i need some advice..

    I have a 5 year old daughter and a 10 month old son. My daughter is not biologically my ex bf's father. We have been together for just under 4 years. We got together when my daughter was 18 months old. We have recently broken up but have been on and off for a while now. I do not live with him and haven't since my son was born - i would stay occasionally on the weekends. My questions are he wants to do mediation which i think would be best but the issues i am having is that he is telling me that if i claim for child support (we have had a personal agreement for 10 months) that he will do everything in his power to try and take my son as much as he can so he won't have to pay. He does not pay me anything for my son. The other issue i have is i don't know how to cope with all of this.. i feel like taking my kids and running away as far as i can. My daughter has been through enough with all of the arguing and i don't want my son to have to go through the same. Can someone please help me.. i'm terrified.. and don't know where to turn

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    Ok I will get shot down for this I know but I am going to say it anyway. To me it doesn't sound like he really wants anything to do with your son he is just trying to annoy you. To me the child support is crap anyway and if he would sign 100% rights over to you I would do that and not worry about the child support. Although if you think he will be a good dad etc. I wouldn't be doing it as it is important to have a father in there life. I however don't think it is important to have his father in his life if he isn't going to care about your son and do the best by him. Does that make sense?

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    laurea  (02-03-2012)

  4. #3
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    You have to claim child support or your family tax benefits will be affected. This is why I hate this nonsense - so many payers use it against the payee as a threat to take children away.

    My ex has done it in the past and, believe me, they quickly realise that it's easier to pay the child support than have the child, pay for his needs AND have to schedule work and social functions around a baby.

    Mediation will help with all of this. If he sent you the threat via text, I'd keep the text and mention itto the mediator.

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    laurea  (02-03-2012),share a book  (02-03-2012)

  6. #4
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    Is he on your LO's birth certificate?

    If he doesn't want to pay child support, do you think he will want to pay for lawyers and everything that is involved with going down that track? Is he calling your bluff?

    If he wants to do mediation, set it up. He might be like my ex - demand it, and not turn up when it is arranged. If that ends up being the case, I would just ignore his demands and tell him he can set up another lot of mediation. If he does go to mediation, hopefully the experience helps him to see sense. They have parenting and communication programs that might help.

    I would still set up Child Support with CSA, as it is required if you want to claim maximum FTB payments. You have two children to bring up, it is already hard on your own without more financial hardship than necessary.

    Good luck, I'm sorry that you have to go through that.

  7. #5
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    Yes, keep a communication log (a diary or similar) - dates, times, content. Keep your emails and SMS.

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    You can apply for an exemption from child support through a social worker at centrelink based on threats received.

    However, I would suspect that the threats you have portrayed in this thread would not be enough to sway the social worker to grant you the exemption.


 

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