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    Default Everyone is so rude and negative, I'm dreading bottle feeding at the hospital

    I am having a C section in 2 weeks. I've had a bilateral mastectomy (both breasts, nipples and lymph nodes removed) so obviously breastfeeding isn't an option. I've had reconstruction, so when I wear clothes it looks like I have breasts.

    I've found people, and midwives, to be extremely judgemental and rude. When they ask me if I am breastfeeding I just say 'no'. When I'm pressed I explain it's for medical reasons as I find explaining my breast cancer and the mastectomy extremely personal and I don't like sharing it with strangers. This should be the end of the conversation, but it's like releasing the floodgates and I'm bombarded with questions and well meaning advice. I've even had one midwife stare at my clevage and then question if I was telling the truth.

    I'm dreading going to the hospital for the birth, my friend had her baby at the same hospital, the Lyell McEwin. They are pro breast feeding and she said the staff were rude and unhelpful because she was formula feeding. Will this be the case and how do I deal with it? I'm worried I'll snap because I'll already be tired and stressed - this has not been a happy or easy pregnancy.

    I'm thinking of buying the 'Yes they're fake, the real ones tried to kill me' tshirt I've seen for women who've had breast cancer.

    Also if anyone can give me advice on what to take to the hospital and how it works, how many bottles, when to make them up etc it would be appreciated. I've just bought a tin of S26 Gold and 4 Avent newborn bottles to take, is this enough?

  2. #2
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    Dimi, whilst I say the t-shirt sounds like an AWESOME idea, I reckon you're still better off not saying nothin to no one! You owe them NOTHING. They can go screw themselves. Don't let them make it your problem, if they have an opinion then let them have it. And if they pressure you, tell them that you thank them "very much for reminding you of your double masectomy and now, pretty please with sugar on top, GET THE EFF OUT OF MY ROOM!"

    Sorry, I have a real thing with opinionated sh 1ts who feel they need to tell everyone how to do things. You're the mum, and I have no doubt you'll be a good one. Don't let 'em get to you!

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    Ask the hospital to attach a note to the front of your file, that they are not to ask you about breastfeeding.

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    I would just be blunt and maybe say. "I would love to be able to breastfeed my baby, but due to personal medical reasons I cant".

    I agree with putting a note in your file. Even if it just says unable to breastfeed. You never know the midwives not even ask!
    I cant help you with what you need to take in. Hopefully another hubber will have some more info x

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    Yep, I agree with the note on your file - you shouldn't have to repeatedly be questionned about this. Hopefully a simple note stating that you are choosing to bottle feed and not to ask you about this would suffice (you can ask them to put "for medical reasons" if you want, but that shouldn't matter!)

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    Quote Originally Posted by loving6 View Post
    Ask the hospital to attach a note to the front of your file, that they are not to ask you about breastfeeding.
    This is an extremely good idea - better still, ask your doctor/OB to do this so carries more authority (I'm assuming your doc knows your history anyway).

    Try your very best to enjoy the first special moments with your baby and purely rejoice in the fact you're actually here to experience it

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    I had a note on my file saying I was formula feeding and I would not be entering into discussion about it. I asked them to read my file whenever it was mentioned.

    I was relieved to find that although it was brought up a lot in my antenatal appointments, it wasn't mentioned once when baby was born.

    They supplied small bottles of ready made formula. Most hospitals do.

    All the best. You don't owe anyone an explanation. "I am formula feeding" should be enough.

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    Quote Originally Posted by loving6 View Post
    Ask the hospital to attach a note to the front of your file, that they are not to ask you about breastfeeding.
    On the form inside the 'Pregnancy Hand Held record' on page 3 it has written in red texta on in large letters that I've had breast cancer and I've had a bilateral mastectomy. When one midwife told me that was no reason not to breastfeed I had to explain what that meant! But thanks for the tip, I will definately tell them again on admission and ask them to note it again.

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    i agree with pp and getting your ob or someone to put a note on your file for them not to ask you about bf.

    someone once suggested to have enough bottles/teats for a whole day so you only have to wash/steralise once a day. dont know of that helps.

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    I think the note on your file sounds good too. Sorry, no other advice, but I'm giving birth at the LMac too so thought I'd say hi
    Fingers crossed for you that they are the helpful and friendly midwives they should be!


 

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