Thinking of having a third after our twins.....

**shirleysmum** · 29-02-2012 19:30

Hi everyone

We have 1yr old boy/girl twins, and are contemplating having another baby. I'd love to hear from people who have done this, and what was it like. What was the age-gap? Sometimes I think I must be crazy....twins are enough! We have a nice balance now, 1 boy 1 girl, and I'm worried about upsetting that balance....would the singleton feel left out? would the two same gendered kids stick together so the other would feel left out? How would I cope with 3? I struggle enough as it is with 2. But then I think I would be a more competent, confident mother the second time around, and not stress about the small things.

Would love to hear other people's experience. Thanks in advance.

**mumwithtwins** · 29-02-2012 20:24

We had another baby after our twins (B/G). Twins we 3 when baby no 3 was born. People thought we were mad but wanted to experience a single pregnancy. Age gap was good as twins were a bit more independent. Am finding now that our youngest desperately wants to be like the other two and can't understand why they are doing things and not him. Would definitely recommend it was a totally different experience to twins.

**shirleysmum** · 29-02-2012 20:34

Thanks for replying. There has been so many times in the last year that I have said to myself "If only I had one...." and I think I would like to experience a singleton. I'm 38, so I don't have time on my side, so I think if we were going to try again, then it would be sooner rather than later. Thanks again.

**mum2twinboys** · 29-02-2012 20:38

My twins are 4 years old and I am pregnant with number 3. I'll let you know how it goes

**Dannielle** · 10-03-2012 16:13

I did it the other way around and DD1 is 4.5yrs older than DD2 & DD3.

I think whenever you have 3 kids you will get combinations of either all 3 playing/getting along together nicely or different combinations of 2 of them leaving the other one out. Now that my girls are all older its a bit different and they have different interests. They usually all get along quite well with normal siblings squabbles at times.

DD2 & DD3 do have a bit of a twin thing. But personality wise they are nothing alike. But DD1 & DD2 both love Gymnastics and DD2 wants to do Levels like DD1 as soon as her coach says she can. DD2 has just joined the Gym Team with DD1 this year. DD3 doesn't like gymnastics and recently asked me if she could do more swimming lessons so she can get better at swimming. I knew she really liked swimming but when she saw the District Carnival recently she told me she wanted to get better.

So, sure DD2 & DD3 are close and DD3 tends to look after DD2 and always has but DD1 & DD2 are close as well having the same love of gymnastics. But then at other times when you take gymnastics out of the equation DD1 & DD3 are closer and have the same interests. Like Movies and books etc.

**Timestwo** · 15-03-2012 13:01

Do it!
I had my 3rd 22 months after my twins. Having 1 baby is a dream. I like my age gap because I could sleep during the pregnancy but my boys dropped their day sleep early, just a few weeks after the baby was born. The first 8 weeks were hard trying to keep 2 young toddlers from loving their baby sister too much but they are wonderful with her now and very attentive and protective of her.

We wanted a smaller age gap in the hope that the baby wouldnt feel left out. We felt that with a bigger age gap, it would be more noticable that there are twins and then a singleton and the singleton would be more isolated iykwim!
On the other hand it would have been good to wait until the twins were in Kindy so I could really enjoy the singleton experience.

**brooke88(mum2b09)** · 29-02-2012 20:27

DF and I are currently TTC, we have almost 3 year old ID girls. Honestly I would probably wait another year or so. The terrible 2's times two can be shocking lol.
That being said I do know two other mothers who have done it while their twins were that young, it's tough for them but they handle it ok.
Best of luck

**Sammycakes** · 29-02-2012 20:29

Hiya,
I am the 3rd child in my family with older twin sisters.
We have a 6yr age gap, it felt like an enormous divide when we were younger but now that we're all adults it doesn't really matter at all.
Growing up I always felt left out though (and even sometimes now I still do occasionally) as they always had their "twin thing" I knew I'd never be as close with them as they are with each other. I have always said that if I were to have twins I'd either stop with them or I'd end up having four kids.
Of course this is just my experience, it could be completely different with boy/girl twins or maybe my sisters were just horrible to me as a kid and the fact that they're twins is irrelevant, lol!
Sorry I'm not much help.
I will add though, my mum said that having me was a breeze compared to having my sisters, generally the second baby/second pregnancy is easier anyway as you feel like you know what you're doing second time around (or so I'm told) but everything was so so so much easier with just one baby compared to two and there's the added bonus that they can keep each other entertained while you spend time with your new baby, a pleasure that other mothers don't generally get

**brooke88(mum2b09)** · 15-03-2012 13:27

Looks like this will be me in another 37 weeks... Just got two BFP's!

This is going to be interesting lol.
Fingers crossed for an easy pregnancy and maybe just one in there this time

Oh and if any of my Facey friends see this we're keeping it quite until 12-13 weeks

**shirleysmum** · 16-03-2012 07:20

Oh Mum2b09 how exciting!! Congratulations!

Thanks so much for all your replies. We've decided to try for another, and made an appointment with FS, as we'll have to use IVF again. Now that we have made the decision, I just want it to happen and I'm strangely excited about growing our family. It feels right.