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  1. #1
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    Default An article to share :)

    I read this article on the CNN website and thought it rang true.

    The only 2 things I disagree on are the way he sets teachers up as the last call, I think you should always be able to approach your child's teacher to chat about issues, but I agree it should be done as though they are a partner, not the enemy.

    2nd was the red mark teacher. She should have just left it alone, or tried a bit & then left it. You would have to be naive to think that leaving any sort of red mark on a child wouldn't cop critisiscim , though I prefer to think it an error in judgement and sacking seems extreme.
    Here it is
    ***********************

    This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

    I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us."

    Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges.

    So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?

    For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

    Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.

    Please quit with all the excuses

    And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks.

    His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete.

    Can you feel my pain?

    Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.

    Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

    And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

    This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"

    Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office.

    Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.

    And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children.

    Teachers walking on eggshells

    I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster.

    My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?"

    I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.

    Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner.

    If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems.

    We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.

    That's a teacher's promise, from me to you.



    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app
    Mum of 4yr boy, nearly 3yr boy & last but not least 5 month girl.

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    As a mum who has been working with her childrens teachers for the last 13 years and will be for another 20. Some of this article is good but that there is a heap that is utter bull.

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    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    Quote Originally Posted by loving6 View Post
    As a mum who has been working with her childrens teachers for the last 13 years and will be for another 20. Some of this article is good but that there is a heap that is utter bull.

    Out of interest, which parts do you see as nonsense?

  4. #4
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    [QUOTE=GlitterFaerie;6409520]I read thisarticle on the CNN website and thought it rang true.

    The only 2 things I disagree on are the way he sets teachers up as the lastcall, I think you should always be able to approach your child's teacher tochat about issues, but I agree it should be done as though they are a partner,not the enemy.

    I agree with the OP the teacher should alwaysbe your first port of call. You should see them as your partner.



    ***********************



    So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents tounderstand?

    For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals whowork with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than youdo. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the sameway you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used tosome parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child,but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it canhelp you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

    I aggre with the op you should treat the teacher advice as that advice. You should listen, than as the parent you should make the final decision on which way to go. I know that my ds was harmed by me taking the teacher advice as the only way to go.
    gree y

    Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behaviorproblem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready tofight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest petpeeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at himand asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you.And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whetheranother teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakensthe partnership between teacher and parent.

    As a good parent, I will always ask mychild their side of the event. I am sorry but I have been lied to by a teacherand I had the teacher take another child side as the truth without looking intothe situation eg because it was out of character for that child they didn’t dosuch and such. There are often times when the teacher has seen/heard somethingthat took place before/during/after the event that directly relates to theevent. Any good teacher would know that by asking your child about the eventyou are doing the right thing by your child and that it has nothing to do withthem.

    Please quit with all the excuses

    This ask plain rude to every parent.

    And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excusesfor them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer readingassignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremelydisappointed because school starts in two weeks.

    His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for thembecause of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry,but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. Shequickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" duringthe summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault thework wasn't complete.

    I am sorry but sometimes life happens andpeople go through some horrible things, compassion never a bad thing. As forgiving kids some fun time, I am a big believer in this. As adults you aren’tsuppose to take you work on your holidays so why should your kids whole holidaybe devoted to homework.

    Can you feel my pain?

    Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they areraising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do notcreate a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 andjobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excusesfor why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.


    Yes you should focus on solutions together.As mum a mum of some special needs kids sometimes teacher need to adjust too. Onlyin this last week a sub teacher called my child a wuss for reporting a bullingsituation and told him to grow up, he should know this work by now, after allit a gr5 level and he in gr7 all in a yelling voice in front of the wholeclass. Yes he has a learning disability and can only read and write at a gr2/3level. This is not a excuse but a reason. Sometime they need to look into asituation without making the child feel like what’s the point of even trying.

    Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor


    Same goes for teachers

    And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. Itbuilds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by thoseparents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parentsbecause they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goeswrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the childdeserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

    This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because yourchild makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is,a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because theyknow by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say,"My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"

    Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are givingthe lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when yourchildren receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal'soffice.

    Sometimes it is the teachers are so greatat teaching that subject. Let’s face it we have teacher teaching subject theirnot trainned for all the time.

    Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before youchallenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" yourchild, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades andthat the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that isproviding the best education.


    My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with apermanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and itleft a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and theteacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believethat woman did that?"


    If the child wrote on himself, not theteacher (yes I have had teacher write on my child with a permanent marker) Ican’t see anything wrong with her trying to get off GENTLY but for it leave ared mark that I assume was still here after school is in no way acceptable.



    We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg ofyou -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. Weneed you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve.Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to giveyour child the best education possible.


    I am sorry not all teacher love their kidssome downright hate them and will tell you so.



  5. The Following User Says Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    smallpotatoes  (29-02-2012)

  6. #5
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    I just wanted to add that MOST teachers I come across have been absolutely fantastic. Like in all profession there are some bad apples.

  7. #6
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    On the most part- I agree with this article. There are a few small points I disagree on. I don't think its necessary to call a child a criminal for cheating. And for the perm marker on the arm- leave it- what harm is it going to do and the child will just have to explain to the parent why they wrote on their arm. Otherwise a very well written article.

    I am all for the 'don't make excuses' bit. My sister does this all the time with my nephew- he chucks a tanty- oh, he's tired, he didn't sleep well, blah blah blah. It's still not an excuse for hitting!

    Also- I do get DS to do homework in the holidays. Unless we are on holidays than it's still work time as far as I'm concerned. I certainly don't get 12weeks off work a year.
    Last edited by SimplyMum; 29-02-2012 at 11:39.


 

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