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  1. #1
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    Default Shared custody starts tomorrow :-/

    So we've been separated for over a month now. A lot has happened during that time and we hadn't started shared care yet, though it was all fully worked out and agreed upon.

    But the time has finally come and EX is coming to pick DD up tomorrow for his days.

    Omg I'm so upset. I knew it was going to happen (obviously lol) and of course they need their time and it'll mean he'll stop being here every second day and he and I will finally start getting that space between us that we need but omg I'm going to miss her so much.

    I had been fighting back tears all night. Though right before bed, I couldn't even properly sing the sweet dreams song to her properly cause every few words, I'd just choke up and start crying and I didn't want her to know I was sad.

    I also don't know how I'll cope with the letting go of control issue. He's a good dad and he's living with his parents so has got them for back up and support but I hate not knowing every single detail about her and not being there to make sure he does everything right...I've been her primary carer her whole life, I understand her that tiny bit better, including her language which I've seen him struggle with at times and I worry that he wont be able to understand her for certain things and that may upset her or whatever.

    I'm just rambling I know. But I couldn't sleep and just had to get it out there.

    I'm going to be so sad and alone tomorrow night


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  2. #2
    Oblena's Avatar
    Oblena is offline I've done it in public and I'll do it again - I don't care who sees!
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    Awww it's tough hey!! I had to share custody fairly quickly with my toddler and my baby started going at about 6 months - I hated it!!!

    My only advice is to use that time to do things for yourself that you don't normally get to do - like see a movie - go out for dinner or shop on your own!!

    I now don't find it hard all the time - I usually look forward to the me time - but sometimes my heart still breaks but my ex doesn't mind me ringing to talk to them if I'm struggling. Doesn't happen often though...

    Mine will be with their dad tomorrow night too - so I'll try pop on here to keep you company if you're around

  4. #4
    tiggerfields's Avatar
    tiggerfields is offline Priestess of Kult K'iesha... Mooo!
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    Big hugs. I've been sharing DS5 since he was 15 months. I know how you are feeling. It is SO hard, especially at first.

    It does get a little easier with time, promise.

    It helps me to remember that DS is best off having a relationship with us both, that this is the best thing for HIM, and that my sadness is all to do with me. Somehow that helps me own it a bit more and makes it a more manageable size. I'm sure you know all that anyway, sometimes it does help to hear it from someone else.

    Good luck dear. As pp said distract yourself with something really enjoyable. For the first few times at least it's worth splashing out a little to help yourself through it.

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    Maybe a communication book would be good... Do it up all pretty and then it goes with her from house to house.. Part and carers can write quick entry about what happened, what they did etc. Helps with initiating discussion with your daughter too :-)

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

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    Thanks everyone I'm just trying not to think about it yet and then when she goes I'll probably end up having a huge cry then not sure what I'll do.

    Happy2be3 the book is a fantastic idea. I'll let ex know about it today and will organize it for when he brings her back.


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    Sending you great big hugs today

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    She's gone :-(

    *sigh* I think aside from missing her like crazy, it's like a reality check and it feels like it's hit me in the face with a tone of bricks.


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    Hugs. xox

    If it makes you feel any better, I still get the teary sad's when DD goes to FOB and it's been happening for 3 yrs lol. Its a mother thing i think. eventually you'll learn to enjoy the time out.

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    Thanks girls

    I'm feeling so alone. I've been laying in DD's cot crying my eyes out


    •Sent from my iPhone•


 

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