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  1. #31
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Do the people around u know u are hav ing a hard time? Do u talk about it?

    If u do and they continue to brag then thats just slack and unsupportive... Bt if they arent aware and talk their babies up, as hard as it is for you to hear...they are just proud and not realising they are hurting you.

    I sometimes get a case of the bitterness when friends talk about their developmentally normal children doing a bunch of stuff my children arent capable of doing... So i can relate.

    I hope things get easier for you.

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    My dd has never slept thru and she's 3!!! some nights she wakes up every 2 hours and even wakes up ds who is 17 mths old... both have good and bad moments, and in the shops dd is one of those annoying screeching kids. I have this one friend whose ds is ""perfect"" according to her. he sleeps in a single bed, no bed guards EVER, he doesn't have the bottle, or dummy and apparently toilet trained with no accidents (or overnight accidents) in about 5 days.... whatever. personally, her ds is the most antisocial twit of a child I have ever seen. For a kid that has been going to daycare since he was 3 mths old, you would expect him to be more of a social child with other children around the same age... but noooooo.... this kid NEVER shares his toys and constantly cries when the parents have other company around.... Then another friend told me when they visited them, this kid wet himself twice.... (i thought he was perfectly toilet trained?!).... I have come to the illusion that this friend lives in lala land.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minchi View Post
    My dd has never slept thru and she's 3!!! some nights she wakes up every 2 hours and even wakes up ds who is 17 mths old... both have good and bad moments, and in the shops dd is one of those annoying screeching kids. I have this one friend whose ds is ""perfect"" according to her. he sleeps in a single bed, no bed guards EVER, he doesn't have the bottle, or dummy and apparently toilet trained with no accidents (or overnight accidents) in about 5 days.... whatever. personally, her ds is the most antisocial twit of a child I have ever seen. For a kid that has been going to daycare since he was 3 mths old, you would expect him to be more of a social child with other children around the same age... but noooooo.... this kid NEVER shares his toys and constantly cries when the parents have other company around.... Then another friend told me when they visited them, this kid wet himself twice.... (i thought he was perfectly toilet trained?!).... I have come to the illusion that this friend lives in lala land.
    Maybe he has an invisible condition. Autistic people lack social skills, which doesn't make them less perfect than the next. Of course her child is perfect, as is yours and mine no child is imperfect, what a sad implication

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    I understand how it makes you feel to hear that your friends have easy babies but I don't think you should stop seeing them. I have easy babies and if my friends stopped seeing me because of that I would be hurt.
    I agree that it might be the lack of sleep contributing to how your feeling towards your friends. I hope it gets easier for you soon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minchi View Post
    My dd has never slept thru and she's 3!!! some nights she wakes up every 2 hours and even wakes up ds who is 17 mths old... both have good and bad moments, and in the shops dd is one of those annoying screeching kids. I have this one friend whose ds is ""perfect"" according to her. he sleeps in a single bed, no bed guards EVER, he doesn't have the bottle, or dummy and apparently toilet trained with no accidents (or overnight accidents) in about 5 days.... whatever. personally, her ds is the most antisocial twit of a child I have ever seen. For a kid that has been going to daycare since he was 3 mths old, you would expect him to be more of a social child with other children around the same age... but noooooo.... this kid NEVER shares his toys and constantly cries when the parents have other company around.... Then another friend told me when they visited them, this kid wet himself twice.... (i thought he was perfectly toilet trained?!).... I have come to the illusion that this friend lives in lala land.
    My ds is perfect to me too, although he may not be to someone else. I would be 'reassesing' my friendship if a 'friend' referred to my child as "anti social twit of a child". Very sad.

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    Im sorry i just don't understand where your coming from. My ds could be considered a very easy baby but we have our difficult days too. Been on the hardest days i wouldn't wish others to struggle. Its like saying im poor and struggling to get by so i can't be happy for someone that's won lotto. I may have misread and apologies if i have but that's just how i see it.

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    This all makes you into the person you're meant to be :-) Remember that:-) Forget about other mums and babies.. STOP reading Bubhub! (sorry Bubhub but this is what helped me) Stop comparing to other babies and Mums. Trust me, it gets better. From a Mum of a VERY difficult baby who is now 4 and a delight!

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  10. #38
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    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    Quote Originally Posted by samar81 View Post
    Im sick of knowing about mums with easy babies!!! 2 of my friends have bubs close to DDs age and all i've heard is howeasy they were to feed,havnt had to deal with colic/reflux, learned to self settle themselves and started sleeping through the night at a young age...all the while i've had to deal with poor weight gain,colic, reflux, extremy hard to put to sleep and still waking 1-2hrly at night !!
    I HATE this !!! i've stopped talking to both friends for the time being as its making me depressed and stressed out hearing about their ''easy'' babies. just feel cheated that i cant enjoy my mum time like they have due to constant crying and exhaustion...

    Samar, you have my utmost sympathy. I too was born with two 'imperfect' children that the Tizzie's of this world would have a field day with!

    It's a shame that you do not feel comfortable in the company of these friends. Do they know the extent to which you are struggling? If not, please tell them - this is a time you really need a supportive and honest network of people around you. If they do know and continue to share these stories about their sleeping, easy-going and easy-to-feed babies in your presence, then shame on them for their insensitivity. Maybe you could organise a few evening catchups sans kids and suggest that the topic of children is off-limits so that you can just enjoy their company and salvage your friendship with them?

    I know it doesn't help to hear that what you are experiencing will eventually pass nor does it necessarily help to know that when you're up for the 50th time tonight, someone else out there will be pacing the boards with you. But it's true and I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are many of us that are blessed with beautiful children who also happen to be the very opposite of the text-book kind you read about.

    to you S

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    I think people are being a bit hard on OP, she said she hated this (as in the fact she didn't get an easy baby when others did) not that she hated them - there is a difference. She said she stopped speaking to them for the time being (not forever) because she is feeling upset and needed a break from hearing about their easy babies - a good move imo to have some time out if you are feeling a bit depressed/upset so you can deal with those feeling before seeing them again.
    OP please tell them you are struggling if they don't know, if they do then it really sucks that they are continually talking about their easy babies in front of you, that's insensitive. They should be able to talk their babies and not hide that it is easy but a bit of sensitivity would be nice - going on and on about it doesn't help. Maybe they really don't understand, maybe you could explain how you feel having a hard baby, maybe they might be willing to help you out.


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    Thanks for all your replies.
    Yes my friends know i feel stressed and angry when they tell me what an easy time they've been having..and they dont say things direstly but it may be something like i'd tell them im really tired due to a bad night and unable to slee during the day and they'd say''oh i know exactly how you feel!'' ...REALLY!?? i feel like screaming that you slept the WHOLE night..how could you possibley know what it feels like... so its just indirect comments..
    I dont wish for their bubs to be terrible toddlers...i've never implied that. and im hapy for them to have easy bubs..but the jealousy you feel when your beyoound exhausted is very hard to deal with. I do hope my DD does improve though.. for her mummys sake ..
    I do talk to them if they call..but i dont go out of my way to call them.. for my sanity and metal health i need to distance myself from them for a short while till things improve ...otherwise i will definatly get badly effected...
    And for those saying that even their easy babys have moments...ofcourse all babys have moments!!! i never implied they didnt.. im talking about a difficult baby who whingess all the time.. i'dbe luckly to have 1 good day and night in sucession!! so sorry to say you with easy babies have to suffer occasionally...but it no where as bad as what you have to deal with a difficult one..
    Last edited by OS&N; 29-02-2012 at 07:01.


 

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