I was really sad to hear other people's stories on this thread
i definatelt agree tho that I am not happy with just handing my so to his biological parent. When I last saw him he was suicidal- his father was bipolar and committed suicide when he was ten and his brother is diagnosed bipolar. Obviously I'm not saying that he therefore must now have
mental health issues but the thing is 'i don't know!!' I don't know anything about him or what his life is like or what has been happening and that scares me. I've been advised to put an airport watch on while he is here even tho I hold my sons passport.
Ues his biological parent will be in his life because unfortunately I can't stop it-but my son is four and has a solid family unit. He knows nothing about courts,or divorce and it breaks my heart that he will be so disrupted he'll get over it eventually I guess it's just not what I wanted.
I've sought legal advice and know I have to be seen to be encouraging a relationship....
- I don't knowing anyone else feels like this. It I feel such horrible guilt that I gave my son such a crappy dad. It's my biggest regret. It's always going to be my biggest regret. I let him down before he was even born what kind of mother does that make me?!failed before I even began really upsets me, feel so guilty that because of me he has to go through this
Sorry yes I have no eph key. My daughter kicked my covvee onto my lap top when I was veeding her and bubhubbing. lol
OP, Im sorry to read this. I totally understand your vear. It is a horrible situation and you just wish upon wish that the man would just disappear back into his own world. I know I wish the same thing. I do get the eeling that when it all becomes too hard or him, he wont continue with the contact as nothing has stopped him rom contacting his son all this time has it? He could have called or skyped.
I would write down a sort o parenting plan on how you want this to play out, think out the steps you want him to take such as skype or 4 months every week, then 4 months ov supervised visits at YOUR convenience (making sure you do make this happen and dont block it), then slowely work up to unsupervised day visits and so on. This is how we worked it in my consent order or my baby. The older two girls went on weekend visits straight away as they do know their ather and he was in their lives, but or the baby, I worked it out in steps and I ollowed her lead, when I elt she was ok with it and it was going well, I loosened up a bit and allowed unsupervised and longer visits sooner than agreed. I think that i you have an organised idea o what you want, and it is reasonable and the courts can see you are being helpul rather than hindering, then things will work out var better all round.
Oh gee, I understand that veeling. I oten wish I chose a better man vor my kids dad. You didnt vail your son though, you did what you elt was right at the time, and hey, iv you didnt choose that man, you wouldnt have this little guy, you would have a dierent one and thats something you wouldnt give up despite the situation which brought him around yeah?
So oten when I eel anxious or down about this whole "CO" parenting situation I get eelings like you are describing. It is so hard to know that orever you have this man in your lie who can just walk in at anytime and totally disrupt it and there is nothing you can do about it. I too wish I never had to worry about this so I do get it.
Anyway off that tangent.. you haven't failed... he wouldn't be "him" without having him as a "father"... just know you've done the best you can for him, and regardless of anything else you've raised him to be who he is. Be proud of what you've accomplished, don't let anyone bring you down!
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