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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Also, I'd wait until I've been on those wonderful overseas adventures you have booked and then see how I felt then. You might go and have such a wonderful time that you won't want to have a baby just yet till you get the travel bug out of your system. Where are you going btw?
    Umm Fiji for a cruise then I I like it I'll go back over and stay, and then a Europe contiki Tour

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kayp View Post
    Umm Fiji for a cruise then I I like it I'll go back over and stay, and then a Europe contiki Tour
    Oh wow! They sound really great! Well hope you have fun!

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  4. #23
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Also, travel before kids but don't let anyone tell you that you have to stop travelling afterwards. You can continue travelling with kids

  5. #24
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    I know exactly how you feel. I have always been so super clucky that it's crazy, for as long as I can remember. All I have ever really wanted to be is a mum. I'm now almost 23 and DH and I are expecting our first bub in July. I'm really glad we waited until now.. I feel like we have both grown a lot in the few years we have been seriously talking about having kids and we both have a lot more to offer as parents. I know it seems like forever to wait but the time comes before you know it. For us, although we both really wanted kids I'm really happy that I waited for DH to be completely ready to be a dad before we started TTC. It's such a loving, bonding time for us at the moment and I don't think it would have been a few years ago.

    In saying that.. Everyone is different and every situation is different. But be prepared for life to change and for tough times, they come when least expected!

  6. #25
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    I think you have to appreciate are you just clucky or are you ready to be someone's mother. The mother of a difficult newborn, a toddler. Are you ready to parent a 10 year old and a teenager ?

    Babies are gorgeous yes but you need to think of the bigger picture. A baby becomes a child and you will have a dependent for at least the next 18 years.

    I have been clucky since I was 18 but waited untill I finished my degree, bought a house and we are getting married in 8 weeks. As I matured I've realized I shouldn't have a baby cause I'm clucky and want a baby. It's that I am ready to take on the role of mother, parent, teacher and provider in partnership with my husband.

    Good luck with your decision.

  7. #26
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    I had our first baby when I was 24, my husband is 33 and it was the right time for us. I have travelled and seen a bit of the world, I have a career that I set up before I had bubs and we own a house and are financially stable. Tbh for me if these things weren't in place like my career and a house I would have put off having bubs until then. Being a government job the maternity leave is very generous and I have now returned part time no problems and it's great to have that to fall back on.

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kayp View Post
    I have four jobs, and two of those I can easily do a month or two after bub is born
    Can I just add that being a working parent is an entirely different kettle of fish to just being a working person iykwim....especially with a newborn. Feeding is still being established, you'll be sleepless (well possibly), childcare is not always easy and returning to work is just such an emotional transistion for many women, so keep all that in mind too.

    Returning to work as a working parent is not always done "easily"
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    Cheers

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  10. #28
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    Shortiii is offline Baby H v2.0 - Anticipating April release
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    I fell pregnant with my DS at 20. He was a surprise.

    I love being a mum, it is the only thing I have loved doing as much as I do... but it's also the hardest thing I have had to do. I wish sometimes I had had more time not being a mum... I am pregnant with our 2nd and even though this is the life I wanted.. being a mum and housewife... I feel like I could have done do much more.

    I gave up my career and had to change my entire life to have my son. I in no way regret it, but I do think about how things might have been different if I hadn't had him so early.

    I think you know if you're ready. I have an 18 year old sister though, and knowing her... There is NO way I would recommend her to have a baby. Depends on the type of person you are.

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    You sound like you know what you want and like you have thought of all the possibilities. Personally, I'd say wait an extra year or two before TTC. I've never been the party type. I absolutely, positively HATE clubs! I don't drink much and I've never really been a wild one.
    The only reason I tell you to wait is because who you are now and who you are in a few years time is completely a different person. Also, there's a chance the things you love about your partner now you'll hate in a few years time. You grow up, your mind works differently, you're stronger as a person, you meet new people... You grow as a person.
    My mum always told me to wait & I always told her that I don't want to travel & I've done everything I need to do but I kinda think that I should have listened to her. It would have been nice to travel with DH, set up my career etc. I miss the freedom sometimes.
    But at the same time having DS has made me soooo much stronger as a person. He has helped me discover myself, I've gain friends, lost friends and I've now found the courage to start a makeup course to refresh my skills and start a business.
    Do what you think is right but weigh up all your options.
    Good luck with whatever you decide = )

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  13. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    I know you say there is nothing at Uni you want but can I make a suggestion? Please do something, study, start building a career. Please please please do not rely financially on a man. I cannot stress this enough! This is my one regret that I didn't do anything during those younger years, even between children I could have been doing SOMETHING.

    Relationships end and people die and if you're left on your own with young children, no job, no experience and no prospects it is going to be extremely hard for you. Please start working on your back up plan NOW! Whether you decide to have kids now or wait....at least be doing something to build up a way to become financial independant. No not rely financially on ANY man!
    Cannot agree with this enough! I have a friend who was planning a wedding when her fiancé up and left her and the children. She has NO qualifications, skills, money, assets or help to fall back on. She is basically up the proverbial creek. Its always good to have something, anything that you can fall back on. Even the most secure felt relationships can fall apart, she didn't see it coming at all.


 

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