Op I think what others mean Is that your "baby" isn't going to know the difference. He is one. Of course it feels unfair to you, especially when they have fussed over others birthdays, but ultimately your child isn'tgoing to know who is there and who is not. Until he is older, that is, and you show him the handprint canvas, and he then gets to be sad and disappointed about his grandparents several years after the fact. It sounds more hurtful to him tbh.
your mil sound selfish, no doubt about it, and you ahvr every right to be ****ed off, but I think you need to focus in what is best for your kids, which is a relationship with their grandparents. It might not be the relationship the way you want it, but I guess we have. Take what we can get to a certain extent, unless they are downright abusive or negligent. Yur ds will work out fr himself later on exactly what he thinks of them.
Your in laws might have 20 grandkids, but your DS only has 4 grandparents! If you punish your in laws by cutting them off (rightly or wrongly), you also punish your DS.
My DH was cut off from his paternal grandparents as a kid because his mum didn't like them. It was only as an adult he realised that they were actually really sweet as grandparents (as in laws was another matter), and that he'd really missed out by not having a relationship with them. He tried as an adult to establish one, but without that special childhood bond it never really developed. It's sad because his cousins are all really close to them, and it kind of makes him fee left out from the whole family.
Swallow your pride and put your DS first. It's not about you. You should bend over backwards to encourage their relationship with him. Even if they resist it. Even if you hate every minute of it! That is true motherly love.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!