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  1. #1
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    She sounds really selfish and clueless. Why does she care if you forget about the holiday?

    As much as it hurts I wouldnt want someone at my ds party that didn't want to be there anyway....

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  3. #2
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    my in laws told us that they are entitled to a social life & that was suppossed to be a good enough excuse as to why they couldn't take an hour out of their Sunday arvo to attend DD2 1st birthday!
    My solution from now on - simply not inviting them!!!! Preggers with no. 3 and have made it clear to DH I'm not going to put up with their crap anymore!

    Goodluck!

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    I looove the canvas idea! ;-)

  5. #4
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    Aww that sucks big time.

    First birthdays are a big deal (to me at least) and I made it perfectly clear to those invited that they were invited for a reason and that nothing was more important.

    If the childs grandparents can't even acknowledge how important it is then it's totally their loss!!

    And if they think you need to always be reminded of their holiday then I think the canvas idea is a fantastic way for them to ways be reminded of the fact that they weren't there! And it's also a great keepsake for your bub


    •Sent from my iPhone•

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    Naww that stinks big time. My brother nearly thumped me when he found out I might not be able to make his son's first birthday! I wonder what he would of done had that been mum.

    If it's any consolation, both parents on my side and DF's side booked holidays for when my baby is due AFTER they were told the EDD. DF's parents are going to be gone for 6 weeks and my parents 3 weeks. Then they have the nerve to say... "Try go into labour a couple of weeks early please"

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    My MIL didnt make it to DDs 1st birthday either. She had arranged to go away for the wknd with SIL & BIL & their baby the weekend DDs bday fell on.
    How can you think like that.
    My sister flew over from Melbourne to be here and they expected me to change the date.
    Ummm... clearly when you booked your wknd away, it did not even occur to you the date around your 2nd grand childs birthday might fall.
    I was and still am furious about it. She clearly favours her 1st grand child and I have started to make it clear in front of her how much DD loves her granddad (MILs ex husband) and my parents. Sounds childish but maybe if she made more effort DD would be affectionate to her too.
    Anyway, her not coming to DDs bday caused a huge issue with DH and I, took us a few weeks to get over it. I was soooo ****ed at the situation.

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    OP, I think you are MASSIVELY over-reacting! How unfair to ask them not to go on holiday and stay home for a one-year old's birthday party!! Take a chill-pill, it's not their baby for goodness sake.

    I think you need to take a good hard look at your totally unrealistic expectations. My parents went away during my DS's first birthday (their FIRST grandchild) and of course I was bummed they wouldn't be there, but in the end it's two hours of sitting around and having some cake. They should definitely have gone on their holiday.

    It drives me crazy when people expect parents/parents-in-law to be as enamoured of our children as we are. They are allowed their own lives, they don't have to fawn all over our children.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eleven3Eleven View Post
    Yeah I've already decided that they are not getting invited to any of DS birthdays. Nor to any of our other kids birthdays if we have anymore kids. I don't care if that sounds bad or selfish but I don't care.

    I'm also gonna tell MIL not to call on DS birthday either. If she can't be bothered to show up I don't see why DS should have to take time out from his family and friends that did show up. If the want to give him something they can wait until after they get back and they can wait til we are ready not when they are ready.

    I am planing on getting everyone that attends DS birthday party to put their hand prints on a canvas with a little message on it. Then when I show MIL and FIL I'm going to stress that it's something that "everyone who cares enough about DS to show did"
    I think all of the bolded parts are ridiculously immature and selfish. Some people can't even get the grandparents to acknowledge the existance of their children and you are going to ruin a potentially lovely grandparent-grandchild relationship because you are taking offense at something totally petty.

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  10. #8
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    My mother didn't make it to DSs birth, 1st or 2nd birthdays! Doesn't mean I'm going to cut her off and not invite her to anything anymore. She shows that she loves my DS everyday of the year, not just his birthdays.

  11. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by HELPihavea2yrold! View Post
    My mother didn't make it to DSs birth, 1st or 2nd birthdays! Doesn't mean I'm going to cut her off and not invite her to anything anymore. She shows that she loves my DS everyday of the year, not just his birthdays.
    Your lucky that way. My In- laws clearly play favourites & I pity my children as they will never have the same bond I had with mine!

  12. #10
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    I think you are overreacting a bit as well. My sister was trying to arrange a holiday and found it hard to arrange in between birthdays and we have a very small family. If they have 20 grandchildren, they would also have their own children, themselves, etc to consider. They would literally never get away.

    And saying "the baby" is annoying. My sisters boyfriend does it to my kids all the time and the eldest is in school! But I don't think any harm is meant by it.


 

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