Stressed

**Issey** · 12-10-2006 21:23

I feel really stressed as I am supposed to be working two days per week, started a job 8 weeks ago. It has mostly been 3 days as I job share and was asked to work some extra days and also training etc.

I am working part-time so I can do activities with DS and every time I get asked to work I have to change my plans and organise care for DS at occassional care (not his usual place & only if it is available). I love the extra cash BUT....sometimes the time is more important....

I have been asked to work an extra day for the next two weeks, one of them is okay and already I have agreed to and organised the care. BUT the other one means not going swimming with DS and I really don't want miss it as he has just started. Not sure what to do as he will also have a disruptive week as there will be a new leader at his usual daycare. Could mean it is too hard on him as well.

HELP!!

**aardvark** · 12-10-2006 21:28

I know what you mean.

My standard line when asked to work extra days which I would not normally work has been to say that I can get care for my child on that day. The down side of that is that I sometimes can't go on training courses which run for 5 days - but what else can be done?

What can they say? I assume you are supposed to work set nominated days, and have care organised for those days. They cannot reasonably expect you to organise ad hoc care for your child for extra days all the time.

**Issey** · 12-10-2006 21:39

Yes I work two nominated days. Then they say can you work this day or that day etc etc. I try to be accommodating, as much as possible but when it is nearly every week (5 out of 8) it is too much distruption when you have to use another care facility.

I am not good at saying no as it is a small business and I am new there & enjoy the job. Why do I feel so guilty...

**ElizaDee** · 12-10-2006 22:23

Deb, I would just no for that day and go swimming with Ty. They can't expect you to say yes all the time and if you do they will come to expect it and take advantage of you.

Just remember you call the shots, I would be saying no for that day and any other that make life to hard for you.

**MumOfTwoBoys** · 13-10-2006 08:34

I would try doing like this: I'd say no to the days that are really not suitable for me BUT I'd offer an alternative. That should look OK if your boss is not a comlete A.. .

E.g. "I am sorry but I am afraid I cannot make it on Tuesday but Wednesday or Thursday should be OK. Which one do you prefer?" This way you actually show the company that you do care about your job plus you offer your boss a choice and he/she still makes the final decision (so he/she still feels that he/she is in charge). And the main thing is you spend the time with the most important person in the world without feeling guilty and without putting him under stress.

Good luck.

**Issey** · 13-10-2006 21:17

I decided to tell my boss that I was on the wait list for the Wed but could possibly do the Thursday and was there a 'special project' but they are just really busy and are happy for me to do an extra day on the Thurs instead. I decided I don't want to miss out on swimming, I know they probably don't understand the big deal but it really is a big deal to do these things with DS for me.

My boss does say family comes first and today I had to rush off to get DS as he is quite sick

.

You always try and toss it up, because the extra money is always really good.