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  1. #1
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    Default Grandfather never sees children

    When I grew up, I saw my grandparents every fortnight, alternating between the two families weekly.

    My ex's father never sees his grandchildren (3 and 5). I think he has seen them once ever, despite living about 1K away, though recently he has moved a bit further away.

    Also he never has any contact with his daughter..

    Reality check

    Is this normal? Whats wrong with the guy?
    Ive only met him once.

  2. #2
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    Sadly, this is my family too.

    Growing up as a kid, we used to see my grand parents every weekend (dads were in tassie and we in NSW so not exactly a pop in kind of situation)

    Since having DD 2 yrs ago, she has seen my grand patents 3-4 times (and. Sadly my poor old grandad passed yesterday she last saw him last November.) my dad died when I was only young so never seen him (obvioulsy)

    DH father however - lives about 5-10min drive and sees dd maybe once a month.. If that!. He doesn't see DH's first daughter so I thought given DH and u are together he would have been a little more involved in her life.... Clearly I was wrong!

    I think it's really sad, but thankfully we have GREAT neighbours who I see more as family than my own so that kind of makes up for it

  3. #3
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    I don't know what normal is, but my FIL never initiates contact with the kids. The only time he sees them is when we push them on him and he pays attention for 5 or 10 minutes before he talks about himself. I don't know whether he loves them. He doesn't dislike them... it's all just kind of *shrug*. I'm sure if we stopped trying he'd never see them (that isn't a dig at you, btw. We only try so hard because my DH would be hurt if they didn't have a relationship.)

  4. #4
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Sadly it is normal for some families

  5. #5
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    inlaws live on the other side of the country and have only met our son twice, yet he has never even received a birthday or chrissie present.

    my dad lives an hour away, sees my kids 2-3 times a year. i feel like i am forcing them on him at times. even christmas day he was too busy with his girlfriend and her daughter to see me, my brother or our kids (his grandchildren). then had the audacity to say the christmas is about kids!!!

    i love my dad, he just isn't a kiddie person. even growing up he really struggled at times. i know he doesn't do it purposefully to upset people, it just doesn't occur to him to reach out and spend time with them.

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    Its really difficult when our expectations don't match that of others or the reality of the situation. We love our children dearly and naturally assume our parents/in-laws/grandparents will love and cherish them just as much so its hurtful when they don't bother to see the kids. I have never had expectations around my parents which has saved me a bit of heartache. I did have expectations about MIL but quickly got over that when she thought my son was a toy who she could get to perform tricks when her friends were around. I feel sad that the close knit generations are not as they used to be.


 

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