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  1. #171
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    hey kismet: hope u had a good day despite the "number"... ..i had a boori cot for H, not a sliegh one but didnt have the problems with the monitor going off.....maybe yours is just heaps bigger.

    spot: glad to hear all is ok.

    rant alert::: ok...well....we were meant to be going away this weekend..partly for our wedding anniversary and partly a chance to relax b4 baby arrives...doubt we will be going....i have no desire to celebrate the anniversary with my husband....he got home drunk yet again yesterday after promising me 2 weeks ago he wasnt drinking after a very ugly fight we had ...and yet again he has broken his promise, he seems to be losing it, he didnt cope well with the adjustment after having h and he he seems to be going the same way again .......im thinking of doing a denise richards seriously, i dont have time for losers in my life, i honestly feel like he is dragging me down and i would be better off without him, im happy and then he F***s up and brings me down, so mega over him, he is not the "family man" i thought he was going to be

  2. #172
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    JFB I hope that you sort it out & DH apologises for being an A.H. You don't need this right now - I've had big fights about alcohol with DH too. It's made worse by the fact you can't even have a drink yourself.

  3. #173
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    JFB - sorry you are having to put up with S**T.

    It's a tough one...
    did he improve after H at all, after the intitial "freak out"?

    Personally I don't believe any of us should have to put up with a partner who drags you down & drives you mental ...
    I also think father's need to understand the role they model for their children, I had an amazing father; my sister has a husband who I think is worse than none ... he doesn't do anything terribly bad ... he drinks to much, had mood swings and is unreliable (cheats as well).... but isn't an abusive father .... however I still think to myself what does that teach my nieces about expected behaviours of men, marriage etc ...?

    All of that said ... relationships do go through ups and downs ... only you know what point you are up to. I also think that perhaps now - just before bubba is due is not the time to make such decisions ... even though I am sure you are only musing on them and ranting in a safe place!

    Needless to say we are all on your side and he should get his friggin act together and make life easier for you! Bloody men!!!

    Big Hugs and strength to you

  4. #174
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    hi ladies...thanks..yes i would prefer to not end the relationship right now because of many reasons including timing, need for the physical and emotional support after bringing home a new baby (although what do single mums do?? they have to cope) , financially we will both end up with literally nothing after all debts etc paid which is a very disheartening fact etc..however he has done my head in and im quite sick of him and very dissapointed in his behaviour. i know i would and could survive on my own. i expect him to put his family first and i expected him to spend time with his family and actually enjoy it, i expect that when u have a family u do not spend the entire day on the pi$$ especially when u havent even seen your son for a week and your wife is 8months pg, i have no respect for any parent who chooses booze / drugs / yobbo mates over thier family.....i wont live with an alcoholic (which i beleive he now is..i should know, i friggin work in this field) i gave him an ultimatum 2 weeks ago and he has broken it so???????? how many chances do u give someone?? i dont know. anyway it was such a bad scene this morning....my mum was staying with us for the weekend and even she has a go at him b4 we left (she has never said anything to him in the 20 years i have known DH)....it was so jerry springer...

  5. #175
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    JFB. I have very different issues with my DH but I feel exactly the same as you. I'm over his whinging whining, negative, rude behavior. And I often think it would be easier/happier without him. Problem is when he's good he's great. But when he's moody or whatever he is a selfish lazy rude *******.

    I completely empathize xxx

  6. #176
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    same here...DH can be great, he can be a lot better than what he is now and maybe it wasnt such a big deal b4 he had a family to stay out all night and get on the grog...., i dunno i feel like being a parent is a "chore" for him...but he just doesnt and or cant "change".......he seems to think his life is so bloody tough cos he works FT, has a big mortgage and then does overtime (his choice to he doesnt "have" to most of the time) ... work was his justification for the boozy stint this time....i want my kids to have a "better" upbringing than i did .....so spending 10 hours on the booze on a sunday is unacceptable in my book. yes i need "me" time too but thats involves going to the odd movie or out for a quick dinner after H has gone to bed. NOT a whole drunken day at a pub..if u need that much and that type of downtime u need professional help ffs.

  7. #177
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    My DH is around all the time but is a bloody victim. Like everything is always someone else's fault. Like yelling at his folks for not putting the dining chairs in (he rarely does it himself, and we are living here rent free), or he gets ****ty because I forget to buy muesli bars at the supermarket or something ridiculous after I've had the kids all day. It's bloody pathetic. Personally I think he has anger issues and has a history of depression. I think maybe he needs ADs again or something. He can be really rude to me. It's always my fault, his parents fault, his sons fault that we don't act or do the things he wants us to do...I do love him. But I feel like I won't one day. One day I will have had enough, and he will be like, what? What's the problem?

  8. #178
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    I agree with Fiona about how important it is for the men in our lives to treat us well as it definitely sends a strong message to our children. I would hate for my girls to grow up feeling unworthy bec their father treated me badly, or for Marc to think that sort of behaviour is acceptable. I've got a very low tolerance to badly behaving partners once kids are on the scene. Yes I understand it can take men longer to get used to having kids as they don't have the whole pregnancy to help them get used to it, but my approach is grow up or get out. Sorry don't mean to sound harsh but kids deserve the best from their parents.

    Hugs to you both.

  9. #179
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    BK...my DH makes me feel like things are my fault too at times especially $$$ he seems to hold "resentments" towards me about things and "financially" . he seems to think he has had a tough life , he hasnt at all!!! its all in his head....nothing "bad" ever happened to him (until IVf basically) and persoanlly i beleive that why he is such a pussy at times.

    sonja: im so with you and its why im so angry and at the end of my pateince with him and its at the ultimatum point (basically change or we are gone)....when u have kids its my belief and value that their needs basically always come first. i have no time for pathetic sooks who cant grow up. i just cant feel sorry for him.

  10. #180
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    My pet hate with my DH is he sometimes speaks to me like I'm an idiot. It drives me crazy as it's not true and even if it was it's usually just that he has a different way of doing things to how I do them with the kids, and given I'm with the kids the majority of the time I think I'm entitled to believe I know what I'm doing.

    I read somewhere once that we speak most rudely to the people who are closest to us and are most polite to strangers. I often say to DH "speak to me like I'm your friend and not your wife" and that usually snaps him out of it. Once you have more than 1 child you really do need 100% support of your partner or you might actually find it's like having 3 kids in the house and they actually work against you not with you. Would your DH do counselling with you and AA? Good luck I do know the feeling of not even wanting to breathe the same air as your DH.


 

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