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  1. #1
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    Default Help! Advice needed re returning to full-time work

    Hi there,

    My DS is 13 months old and I am wanting to return to some form of employment for both financial reasons (more that I'd like to feel that I'm contributing again to our household income) and mental stimulation. I've had a rocky start to motherhood, suffering PND and believe that I need a balance between being a mum and an employee.

    In an ideal world I would like to find part-time work, but I'm finding that in my area of marketing, fulfilling part-time employment is like hen's teeth. So I am contemplating going back to full-time work. My DS is currently in childcare 2 days a week and really loves it.

    However, my concerns about returning to F/T work are:

    A) I'll get over tired and my depression will return
    B) my DS still wakes most nights for a feed (however, I've noticed that he generally sleeps through the days he's been at childcare)
    C) the guilt I will feel going back to work knowing that I don't HAVE to go back, it's more my choice

    And there are probably a heap of other concerns. BUT there are pluses too.

    I guess I'm after some support and feedback from those working full time and whether it really is OK to make that choice. And can you be happy and enjoy both work and being a mum? I'd love to hear from ppl who made that choice like me and realized it was the best thing for them!!!!

    Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
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    Hi PipedPiper

    I went back to work 6 months ago and I work four days/week and most of those days I do overtime. The first few months was a hard slog to be honest, but I love my job so it was worth all of the difficulties.

    The biggest transitions for me were:
    1. Leaving my girls and often leaving for work before they wake up.
    2. Housework totally fell by the wayside.
    3. The tiredness.

    I hear what you're saying about the tiredness and being worried that your PND will return. I have to be pretty vigilent about how much sleep I get because if I don't get enough then I feel pretty flat. Our weekends used to be hectic, but now they are pretty cruisy which suits all of us.

    My housework annoys me so much, but we've tackled that problem by employing someone to clean the house once a week.

    And the guilt of leaving my girls? Well, I don't think that will ever go away. I have never been free of the motherguilt, even as a SAHM, I never felt like I was doing enough with the girls. It's just now the guilt has changed form. The guilt has been eased a little by the fact that my youngest seems to love daycare and has really grown

    Is your partner supportive of you getting a job? My DH has been an incredible tower of strength for me and I think it makes a heck of a difference if your partner is supportive!

    All in all though, I am so glad I took the plunge and got this job. I love my work, I love being out and about with adults and I love that financially it has eased the burden.

    Why not give it a go? Give yourself a time limit. If you're not happy in your job within a couple (3?) months, then resign. You'll never know how you and the family will go unless you try it

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    Oh thanks mamaC, that's definitely good to hear.

    My husband is unsure about me returning to work (well full time) because he fears that I won't cope and my PND will also return. But, if he sees that I'm coping and happy enough, then I have no doubt he will be supportive.

    To be honest I haven't told him that I've applied for a couple of full time positions as I'd rather wait to see if anything comes of them. The good thing is I can afford to be a bit choosy with the job bc I don't have to go back immediately. So finding the right kind of role is key, otherwise there is no point in going back.

    I do have a lot of friends back pt work after having kids, but none doing ft (altho with their hours, they may as well be). It's so so hard, it really is and I only have 1 child!!

    Well done to you and thanks for your reply.

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    No worries
    It sounds like if you can get the right position then it'll work really well. Besides, if after a couple of months you love the job, they love you, but the full time hours are too much then there's always the possibility they can negotiate with you. Afterall, they will have just finished training you and won't want to lose you (and their investment.

    Good luck!!

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    You know what I thought the same thing mamaC re possibly negotiating 4 days a week or fewer hours over 5 days, once I actually start the job. It feels a bit sneaky but I think it's best to get a job first and then worry about the other stuff later.

    Thanks again x

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    Quote Originally Posted by Piedpiper78 View Post
    You know what I thought the same thing mamaC re possibly negotiating 4 days a week or fewer hours over 5 days, once I actually start the job. It feels a bit sneaky but I think it's best to get a job first and then worry about the other stuff later.

    Thanks again x
    Just want to say... You only have the right to request a change in your working arrangements after 12 months service. So you might have to wait that long before reducing your hours down to a 4 day week.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to kw123 For This Useful Post:

    Piedpiper78  (23-02-2012)

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    Thanks kw123. I'll keep that in mind.

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    Can't really offer too much advice, I didn't go back to work until DS was 2 (mind you, had to be away from him and DS for 3 months so separation was a killer!) but what I can say is don't feel guilty about it.
    Your bub will notice that you're feeling happier because you're getting more mental stimulation. Happy mummy = Happy bubby! If you're anything like me you'll feel like a new woman when you get back to work

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Can't really offer too much advice, I didn't go back to work until DS was 2 (mind you, had to be away from him and DS for 3 months so separation was a killer!) but what I can say is don't feel guilty about it.
    Your bub will notice that you're feeling happier because you're getting more mental stimulation. Happy mummy = Happy bubby! If you're anything like me you'll feel like a new woman when you get back to work

    Thanks eko. Did u go back to full-time work? 3 months away sounds bloody hard, poor you!


 

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