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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    I have decided (I think) that I want to investigate it but I am not quite ready yet. I will wait until I feel more confident and ready to do so.

    I think I just feel like if it's real, then it wasn't abuse as I consented. (That's how it seems to me). My dad did nothing with us as children and I was always trying to get close to him and please him. Even to this day I still try to get his approval for everything.

    Unfortunately I named my last DS after him (middle name) and this now makes me sick to my stomach.

    I don't even know if these memories are real.....I am so confused.
    Yes, do wait until you are ready, but please do not just wait and wait, as you may never really be 'ready'

    Now, - I say this in the nicest friendliest way - but a child cannot consent, and it is the role of an adult and a parent to rebuff untoward behaviour and stop a child from these actions. You did not consent - you were a child.

    As for the name business, my borther hated carrying around our fathers name until I remonded him that my father never chose his name, my grandparents named my father. Please look at you naming you child that name as recognition of your grandparents taste in names

    This is a very hard road to tread, and I have been there too, and have walked this same road with two of my siblings - is there any chance ant of your siblings is in the same boat?

    Good Luck

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingClassMum View Post
    Yes, do wait until you are ready, but please do not just wait and wait, as you may never really be 'ready'

    Now, - I say this in the nicest friendliest way - but a child cannot consent, and it is the role of an adult and a parent to rebuff untoward behaviour and stop a child from these actions. You did not consent - you were a child.

    As for the name business, my borther hated carrying around our fathers name until I remonded him that my father never chose his name, my grandparents named my father. Please look at you naming you child that name as recognition of your grandparents taste in names

    This is a very hard road to tread, and I have been there too, and have walked this same road with two of my siblings - is there any chance ant of your siblings is in the same boat?

    Good Luck
    Thankyou, I am so fond of my nanna so I will definately try to look at my DS's name in reference to her.

    I'm sorry to hear you have been here before

    I asked my sister about 2 years ago if anything had happened to her as I felt it had happened to me. ( I didn't mention our dad though as I didn't remember that at the time). She said she didn't think so. The best person to ask would be my mum as one of the "memories" I have is of her walking in.

    The thing that makes it all so hard is that he is a good guy and our family is quite close. Plus we live in a very small area which will make things very tricky.

    I don't know.

  3. #13
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    i would seek professional help.

    There are examples of these types of memories being from actual abuse but there are also examples of them being distorted or false memories which are created via a number of different mental processes. There is a fair amount of scientific evidence to show that there is such a thing as a "false memory". It can be made even more confusing when parts of a memory are correct & other parts are false. For a bit of background info on that you could read this http://www.idml.medicine.arizona.edu...ECP%201998.pdf.

    It is often not simple to determine & therefore a professional should be able to guide you through the process as they are familiar with research pertaining to this type of thing.

    I hope for you, it is not the case that you were abused & if it is the case I hope you are able to heal from the experience.

    You are doing the right thing by acknowledging these feelings as they should be investigated.

    Good luck
    Last edited by Ulysses; 24-02-2012 at 09:38.

  4. #14
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    *super hugs*

    i dont know what to say entirely, but something that stood out to me, as WCM said as well.

    in no way did u consent to that. you did not know any better, and a child does not come up with the idea of sex to please a parent, without that idea have being planted. how does a child even know about it?

    if my child tried to touch me in an inappropriate way, immediately a natural gut reaction would be to stop it, and explain that its not appropriate... and thats what most people would do.

    YOU did nothing wrong.


 

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