Now, - I say this in the nicest friendliest way - but a child cannot consent, and it is the role of an adult and a parent to rebuff untoward behaviour and stop a child from these actions. You did not consent - you were a child.
As for the name business, my borther hated carrying around our fathers name until I remonded him that my father never chose his name, my grandparents named my father. Please look at you naming you child that name as recognition of your grandparents taste in names
This is a very hard road to tread, and I have been there too, and have walked this same road with two of my siblings - is there any chance ant of your siblings is in the same boat?