yes this is a minefield! For some reason or another I have found that a lot of mums get really touchy when it comes to routine.
As the others above me said, it looks like you are pretty on top of things and doing a great job
For what it's worth though.......
I have had my one year old on Tizzie Hall's routines since he was 5 months old. It is pretty strict but the good thing is she is against CC which was a win for me as like you I couldn't cope to watch my bub crying and do nothing. Instead she teaches you how to learn the difference between protest crys and emotional crys.
I think Tizzie Hall is an investment of time on your part, you really have to put in to teach your baby how to SS and sleep but it's totally worth it!
I LOVE her routines and have a baby who sleeps 12 hours at night every night, 1.5 - 2.5 hours in the day, he self settles, eats lots of food sat at his high chair like a good boy and all in all is a happy little man.
For kids a routine is everything, they love to know what is going to come next.