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  1. #1
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    Default Is this self settling?

    My bub is 12 weeks old. During the day I watch him closely and swaddle and put him in his cot when I see a tired sign. Most of the time he grizzles for 15 to 40 mins then closes his eyes. BUT... he opens his eyes after a few seconds and seems to not able to go to sleep although he wants to. At this point I normally put him on his side (if I haven't already), put a hand firmly on his arm and sometimes pat his back if he still grizzles. He normally wakes up in just 1 sleep cycle of 40 mins and 80% of the time can't resettle unless I help him immediately (firm hand on arm, patting, breastfeeding, etc...).

    At night time he sleeps on his back and normally has no problem going to sleep by himself. But he always wakes up every 2 hours (since birth) and if I don't feed him he will cry. But I suspect it's more comfort sucking than hunger because no matter how long I feed him - 1 min or 20 mins, he will wake up 2 hours after that.

    Is it true that he can't resettle because he doesn't self settle to sleep in the beginning? It's confusing for me because I think he goes to sleep by himself but somehow can't manage to resettle.

  2. #2
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I'd say no, buts that's ok! Your baby sounds normal to me

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    I agree it sounds like he is not self settling, but you and he are doing great. I never understood the need for infants to self settle.

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    Its perfectly normal for babies to need assistance to get to sleep. They aren't like us and can't "organise" themselves and their thoughts iykwim.. At 12 weeks I would think most babies need a feed or pat or shush to sleep. Don't let anyone tell you that its not normal because it is. Some babies will have a grizzzle and then back off to sleep but not all or even many.

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9100 using Tapatalk

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    lovesushi  (20-02-2012)

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    I wouldnt be expecting a 12week old to self settle just yet, he may be still needing to know you will come to him when he cries. This is very important for a bit later on with seperation anxiety.
    My DD did start to sleep thru the night at 12 weeks BUT she did not sleep a wink during the day.
    All the techniques you are using to reassure him and settle him are terriffic so keep them up!
    It's up to you but i used to pop dummy in when DD woke after a cycle and hold her till she went back off to sleep....it then turned into just poping the dummy in. Then, after a while she no longer needed it to settle. .....she found her fingers!
    My DD is 12mths now and has self settled fom about 6mths old by quietly playing in her cot, rocking herself to sleep and suking her fingers. She has a glow worm that i put on as i leave the room (has a light and plays soft music for 5mins) sometimes when i walk past her room after an hr i hear that she has turned it on herself......she goes back to sleep after about 10mins. Dark room was key for her that it's time for sleep.

    Goodluck you are doing a great job

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    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    Don't let anyone tell you that its not normal because it is...
    This is exactly my concern. I used to have him sleep on me or next to me in bed with the breast in his mouth. He can sleep very well like that. Both the nurse, GP & some of the books said that i wasn't doing him any good and he'll never learn to sleep by himself. The GP suggested CIO which of course I can't and don't want to do. The nurse did home visit and sleep training for bub with a technique she called "controlled comforting" which basically let bub cry for each cycle of 10 mins while we sat there shushing & patting him. I was crying too because I know the difference between grizzling & crying. She basically pat DS with 1 hand & me with the other hand It was too hard for me so I stopped it and used the other method of picking up - putting down. It took a while but finally he sleeps in his cot now which is a huge relief for my back. It also takes a while to figure out he likes to sleep on his side, he likes patting back not bottom. I wish he could take the dummy but he's more a hand sucker & I still have to swaddle him because he still has the startle reflex.

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    Babies do grow into young children, who need us less and less as they grow older. I never even bought a cot for my daughter, she was in my bed from day dot, falling asleep during a breastfeed. Now she's 8, has her own 'stuff' and needs me far less than she did as a baby or toddler. No one ever regrets spending too much time with their babies.

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