Not sure if I'm posting in the right area, but will give it a go.
A year ago DH and I moved interstate (from qld to vic), I was about 20 weeks pregnant at the time and otherwise pretty positive about the move, DH had a promotion at work and although I was hesitant at first, I wanted him to be happy (he was hating his old job, and had no other opportunities where we had been living previously). We had a lot of financial incentives and help to move and I embraced the decision at the time, no point in going in with a negative attitude, etc.
Problem is, I left behind my family, all of my closest friends (a group of about 5 girlfriends and their husbands/partners, have been friends with some of them for over 20 years), and a wonderful, beach side lifestyle that I had grown up with all my life.
Now, I feel isolated and alone in a big city where I know barely anyone (only DH's brother and sister are here). I have a small mothers group which are wonderful but its nothing compared to the friends I had 'back home'. I now have a baby boy (7 months now) and am finding out about just how challenging it is not having my mum (or mother in law, whom we also left back in qld) around to help out, babysit, give me a break etc. DH often travels for work (which he had also done previously, just now I really am alone when he does go, before I had friends and family around for support).
I haven't been able to find a job yet, largely due to the fact I have a young baby and don't really want to go back full time. Although I have started applying for full time jobs I am doubtful of my ability to hold down a full time job with a young baby, I know plenty do it, but I would be starting a new job and have to put him into f/time chidcare and its all very stressful and depressing. But I need to work as our money has run out.
I have tried talking to DH about it, in some ways he feels the same ie perhaps we wouldn't have moved if we new it would be this hard. But on the other hand he is LOVING his new job, doing really really well and I know if he hadn't taken it he would be depressed in his old role etc etc. He is commited to staying in his current job for at least 2 years (because they paid for us to move down here), but there really isn't any opportunity for him to move back at least not in the next few years.
I am really struggling to stay positive. On one hand I know I have to because we are stuck here and if I don't embrace it I will just get further down and life will suck. I love my DH very much and want to support him but I am just finding it so hard, I really don't like living here and its not what I had envisaged for my (or our family's) future.
Am I wrong in asking DH to consider any future roles that come up in Qld, even if they're not perfect jobs for his career? That is the only way we would be able to move back. Do I just sit here and learn to live with it? If I knew our combined goal was to move back within 5 years I would probably feel better.
I would probably cope better if I were allowed unlimited (or at least frequent) trips home to see family and friends but we have only been back once in 12 months and as finances are really, really tight (ironically, we had thought we'd be better off down here) I only have one weekend trip planned in 3 months time. DH gets very stressed about money (fair enough as he is the breadwinner) and although he's happy for me to travel home I don;t think he fully understands how important it is for me.
Sorry I know its a ramble but I just don't know how to cope with my situation. I am stuck living in a place I don't want to live and I somehow need to stay positive and focused despite desperately wanting to move back.