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  1. #1
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    Default Parents with 2 kids...

    My partner and i have one little ds 2 atm.. And i think we are great parents... My boy is just such a happy.. Clean.. Healthy.. Well behaved little boy. I have time for him.. I talk to him i dont yell.. I keep the house clean.. I cook.. I make snacks i dont buy them. We take him to the beach.. Park.. Concerts.. Farms.. I have this parenting thing down pat and i love it!! We have decided to ttc early next year and i was so excited..until Last night my son had a melt down and i thought i handled it wonderfuly. Then it hit me.. Will i be able to be a good mum when i have a baby? Will i be able to give my son my all when im caring for a baby? My dp will be working away so it will just be me. Is it fair on my son to have another one.. Will he change? Hes such a good kid i dont want to turn him into a terror.. Arrgg this is stressing me out!! I need to hear from other mums who felt the same before they had their second one.

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    There is 26 months between mine. my dh also works away.

    I didn't find it difficult at all till my youngest started moving. Ds was so excited and not a little bit jealous till now.

    I really enjoyed giving my whole attention to just him, it was special. It's not as easy now as I have to share myself and they do fight often over toys, me etc.

    But if I could choose to do it again or not, my answer would be absolutely. They do love each other and it's been very worth while. I do miss the constant one on one but now they are getting older I'd becoming more possible. The house etc went on the back burner for a year but is all good again.

    Infact we are ttc lucky number 3 and our last. So that must say the answer it's self.

  3. #3
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    Subscribing, although im already pregnant with number 2 I'm keen to read replies!


    Mummy & Daddy - expanding our family! Our little man born April 2011 and now expecting another munchkin in August 2012! Loving it!!!!!

  4. #4
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    I had exactly the same concerns, so hubby & i decided to make the gap big enough that our DD1 would be off at kindergarten while our second child was a baby. It has worked brilliantly. DD1 is now such an independent little miss and loves being a big sister and mummy's helper. I get 3 days per week of one on one time alone with baby while DD1 is at kindy. On the days she's at home, baby's naptime is mummy-&-daughter time. Next year when school is fulltime, we will look at a sitter for DS so DD & i can have Saturday mornings alone together.
    I am so glad we waited for this gap, it works perfectly for us.
    Last edited by steel magnolia; 19-02-2012 at 08:22.

  5. #5
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    See im expecting ill get a horror of a baby! Ds was a easy baby and a easy kid! I have had my easy child so im due for a clingy sooky one lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozzymonster View Post
    See im expecting ill get a horror of a baby! Ds was a easy baby and a easy kid! I have had my easy child so im due for a clingy sooky one lol

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    Its so nice to hear! I only hear of big gaps being a bad thing! Ds will be 4.. I.was worried the age gap would be a bad thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JustShiney View Post
    I had exactly the same concerns, so hubby & i decided to make the gap big enough that our DD1 would be off at kindergarten while our second child was a baby. It has worked brilliantly. DD1 is now such an independent little miss and loves being a big sister and mummy's helper. I get 3 days per week of one on one time alone with baby while DD1 is at kindy. On the days she's at home, baby's naptime is mummy-&-daughter time. Next year when school is fulltime, we will look at a sitter for DS so DD & i can have Saturday mornings alone together.
    I am so glad we waited for this gap, it works perfectly for us.
    I was talking to my dp last night and told her i wanted to have a special day with ds once a once just him and us.. And oviously same with the baby when its older.. But she doesnt agree.. She rekons he needs to realize hes in a family now and its not just all about just him.

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  8. #8
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    the transition is not always easy. i felt heart broken for the first 12 months every time i had to say no to ds#1 because of something ds#2 related.

    but.. its just how it has to be sometimes, we have a big age gap, so ds#1 really did get me all to himself for a solid 4.5 years. they do eventually have to learn that the world doesn't revolve entirely around them. <that sounds harsh, i'm not meaning it to be tho. what ds#1 lost in time with me, he gained a little brother, and im sure he is pretty happy with that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozzymonster View Post
    Its so nice to hear! I only hear of big gaps being a bad thing! Ds will be 4.. I.was worried the age gap would be a bad thing.

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    I have friends with 1 or 2 yr age gaps and they all explain that they had them close together so that they'd be good friends and play together. But it doesn't always work out that way!! A few of my friends spend all day breaking up fights as their kids are constantly trying to kill each other. Some do get along well, but having a close gap is no guarantee of harmony.
    And besides, my kids dont need to be close in age to play together. As a mum it is my job to raise well-adjusted kids, not breed best-friends. They will make friends with other kids their own age thru activities and later on at school.

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    My babies are 22 months apart am I good mum... Yer I think I am!! Was I more organized before ds came along... Yes! Did dd get more attention... Yes! I am not going to lie its a juggling act and it does take a while to get use too! But honestly I make a darn good effort to still do fun things with dd, sometimes we can't because I have a grumpy baby but honestly the love my 2 year has for her 5 month old brother amazes me, it's an absolute blessing to see them together!! It's not going to be as easy as it is now but it is well worth it!!
    My husband is in afghan until July, but honestly I don't find being a mum to two on my own difficult..
    Also if your ttc next year your son will be 3-4 before bub is born! He will be heaps more independent! It might come as a bit of a shock to him to have to share you though!


 

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