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  1. #1
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    Default sick of competitive mums

    So, maybe it's just me but i am so sick of competitive mum's!
    It's like its a rush to see who's baby can roll over first or sit up or crawl first.

    My baby didnt roll over untill 6mths, she did not sit up untill 9mths and she only started crawling at 10.5mths. She only has 2 bottom teeth at 12mths. You know what? i dont care!!!!! she's STILL normal!!!!

    While other mum's with younger babies feel the need to brag and go on and on about how many teeth they had at 4mths old.

    If i make a big deal over my baby crawling, i find out that their (younger baby) has been crawling for a couple of mths now and is now standing. (Crawling is so 6mths ago , gosh) It's like they are always trying to get ahead of me and i feel i just cant win at times.........WTF??!!?! a baby's development is not a competition!!!! omg Im turning into a competitive mum as we speak!

    its almost like they are rushing thru milestones to get to the next one before anyone else does.....so they can claim it. omg i am tradgic for thinking like this but i am just over these people!!!!!

    Anyone feel like this at times???

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  3. #2
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    babalooba is offline Being a brother is better than being a superhero
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    My DH and I were just talking about this this morning. He said that he mentioned to some guy at work that DS2 just started crawling and the guy said "oh my baby is 2 months old and he is crawling" um ok. It's not just mothers lol.

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    I think this 'competitive parenting' definitely exists, and it can be frustrating. You see it in every aspect of parenting - not just the milestones. I didn't BF beyond the first few weeks, and even now (DD is 19mths) some friends say "Oh, yes, but you FF" (dismissive wave of hand) whenever I say anything related to how DD ate or slept as a baby.

    The only thing I will say is that it can be hard with the milestones to NOT sound as if you are bragging if your child does do things early. Often other people will ask when your child did something, or other people will make reference to it, and I found it very difficult to know how to respond, as DD was early at hitting them all.

    I think that as parents we're all so proud of our kids, and so excited when they do something new, that it can sometimes come across as bragging/ competitiveness when it isn't meant that way.

    BUT I do agree with you that sometimes it really IS meant that way, and that's not cool at all...!

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    We had a mum like this at mothers group. Her baby did everything 5 yrs before everyone else apparently , I just used to laugh inside and think that who cares , they will all be doing everything soon . I just thought she was totally insecure..

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    I was worried about this when I first joined a Mums group cos I had heard horror stories. I was planning to quit my group at the first signs of this. My group is actually pretty OK when it comes to this, luckily. I made sure I didnt go out of my way to state when my son reached his milestones. They all get there in the end.

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    It's hard to not sound like your bragging when talking of milestones. For new-ish patents, it's really exciting news to them. Also, talking about milestones etc could be the only thing they have in common with other new parents. It's not necessarily putting you down. I wouldn't expect everyone to listen to me talk about my sons new skills and not talk about their own.

    (hope that didn't come put rude, it's not meant to at all)

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    I was so lucky to not run into this problem with my Mums Group and Playgroup as I had been warned about how it can get quite competitive and at worst, *****y!

    It's a shame, as new Mums we're all put together as a group to support eachother through our babies first months/years - not to compete and cause stress to each other!

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    Thankyou, i'm glad im not the only one who sees this. Had to giggle about father's doing it too !

    Formula fed babies are so different to breastfed babies, (aparently).....i hate that because i was the only FF in my mum's group, they took no notice of any advice/sudgestions i had about weining or sleep issues. Ummmm i too went thru major sleep issues and because im a FF'er.....im a different case.

    I remember telling one mum who asked, how i weined DD onto a sippy cup......she then said "oh, but you bottle fed, it would be easier"....owch! that hurt.

    Mother's groups can be a bit toxic. If you get a good one, you are really lucky if u get a horrible one, get the hell outa there!!!! I remember one mum video taped her 4mth old rolling over on her phone and passed it around the group for all of us to watch.......seriouly. I left that group!

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    Quote Originally Posted by peasmum View Post
    It's hard to not sound like your bragging when talking of milestones. For new-ish patents, it's really exciting news to them. Also, talking about milestones etc could be the only thing they have in common with other new parents. It's not necessarily putting you down. I wouldn't expect everyone to listen to me talk about my sons new skills and not talk about their own.

    (hope that didn't come put rude, it's not meant to at all)
    I tend to agree with this - and I guess I really encountered it recently with my second baby as (and I'm not bragging), he pretty much self toilet trained just before his second birthday. I wasn't expecting it but of course encouraged it. I felt bad telling anyone and my SIL in particular cracked the sads because she had an older son not yet trained - we weren't in competition as far as I was aware, mind you she probably got sick of our MIL reminding her son that his younger cousin was already trained why wasn't he.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peasmum View Post
    It's hard to not sound like your bragging when talking of milestones. For new-ish patents, it's really exciting news to them. Also, talking about milestones etc could be the only thing they have in common with other new parents. It's not necessarily putting you down. I wouldn't expect everyone to listen to me talk about my sons new skills and not talk about their own.

    (hope that didn't come put rude, it's not meant to at all)

    ....hi,not rude at all and i kinda have to agree with you here


 

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