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  1. #1
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    Default Sd is refusing to come because of me

    Read previous post in here from me to see the problems we are having with her.
    She hates that her parents are now united and tell each other important things and she can't play them against each other. She blames me for it.
    So now she has taken off from school and won't tell anyone where she is because she doesn't want to come to us this weekend. I half feel bad but only for dh sake.the other half says wow gee she is pushing the buttons being a brat

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  2. #2
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    sounds like a tricky situation! no advice, just hugs

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    I think they should still make time for each other away from you. If she doesn't want to come stay he should make a time on his weekends to do something just with your sd. Their relationship is very important. Hopefully it won't take long till she comes around. He must not just turn his back on her, not that you have even remotely suggested he might. You must insist he does everything he can to stay close to his child. She needs her dad. Good luck. Be the better person. She is just a child.

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    I think its up to your DH to sort his DD out, You have your own kids to deal with without you having to play mediator for your 13yo SD and her mum and dad.
    Let the parents sort it out.

    I am sure SD will come around eventually, sounds like she is being an emotional typical teen and is annoyed that you and her mum are talking about her, which was BMs idea anyway wasn't it ?

    But yeah try not to stress about it, You haven't done anything wrong and in the long run your SD will come good.
    But Id leave all communication up to the BM and DP from now on, take a backseat to it all cause she isn't your responsibility.

    Good luck.

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    I just read some of your previous posts. I think her mum and dad need to put her in another school so that she is away from bad influences. I would also look to move house so that those other rebellious girls are too far to visit. I think you all need to go for counseling and seek professional advice. She is going to have a massive impact on you and your family so it's great you are willing to be involved. Can you try forge a relationship with her too? Take her to have a pedicure with you or go shopping etc?

  6. #6
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    We had a good relationship for a while. Pretty much while she played one against the other. Then the lies started where she would say her mum was hurting her. I got sucked in and really there for her.... Until i find out she told people i punched her.
    So yesterday i was willing to start over until i read all her texts to her dad about how much she hates me and also told her mum in a text that i am so mean and i told her to die. All lies. I feel so betrayed

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    Oh dear. I read a quote once that those who are hardest to love need love the most. I am sure you are hurt beyond belief but you have to take the adult position. When the time is right you should tell her how much she hurt you and how heart broken you were.

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    You need to let BM and DP work this out, it's not your place. I understand why you'd want to intervene but you're asking for trouble in every direction. Sure, spend time with DSD when she's there, guide DP if you have to. But let him communicate with BM and make the rules for DSD (or at least let it look that way).

    It might be time to think about some counseling as well.

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    Try not to feel too betrayed either, she's a teenage girl and we all know how ridiculous they can be. She's still a child and needs the people around her to sort things out..sounds like she's acting out for whatever reason, don't take it too personally.

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    It's dh i feel the betrayal from. I know she's just acting up . His whole family are supporting me and bm through this but not him

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