I am sorry to hear that little wish.
Having some wonderful holidays planned must help.
It is so hard to want something and it doesn't come your way and to do everything you possibly can yet still not have any luck. I believe being a mother can take so many forms and the women that is more like my mother in my life is actually not my biological mother. A little different I know to really having the experience but this belief keeps me going. Just to realise I can have a positive influence on someone's life is the fuel for me.
After this cycle DH and I will stop all the meds and scans and take some time off and look at our options and seriously make a decision. Sometimes I just wish we had more time....but I also realise this is the path our life has taken and can't change it.