Acceptance

[TTC1]

I am sorry to hear that little wish.
Having some wonderful holidays planned must help.
It is so hard to want something and it doesn't come your way and to do everything you possibly can yet still not have any luck. I believe being a mother can take so many forms and the women that is more like my mother in my life is actually not my biological mother. A little different I know to really having the experience but this belief keeps me going. Just to realise I can have a positive influence on someone's life is the fuel for me.
After this cycle DH and I will stop all the meds and scans and take some time off and look at our options and seriously make a decision. Sometimes I just wish we had more time....but I also realise this is the path our life has taken and can't change it.

[moomechanic]

I think I am starting to hit this point also, I have days where I am quite content with being childless and think we can still be happy but at other times wonder if I will regret giving up, I'm at a point where I don't think I can handle anymore ivf, and heartache. Time to move on and que sera sera!
They have found no reason why we shouldn't concieve so maybe one day we will be blessed

[lilwish]

Hi moomechanic,

Sorry you've had to come to this stage too...
It's just not fair.

I hope you do have that little blessing some day, but if not, I hope you find life is still fulfilling enough without.

Making this decision is tough, but if you're like me, you'll probably feel quite relieved to not be 'on hold' anymore and free to live each day as it comes.

I still get pangs of sadness now & then (that may never change), but I've started to accept it all a bit more and it's probably not the end of the world afterall... we have a good life together, and there are actually some benefits of not having kids (eg sleepins and lazy weekends, weekend getaways, more money to spend on ourselves and on holidays, etc). sometimes I feel freer than my friend with kids.
We just need to make more 'childless couple' friends...

All the best - I hope it all works out well for you.

[moomechanic]

Thanks lilwish, I think that's what scares me most, is that I'm actually enjoying being childless,I have had to find other things to occupy my self an starting to enjoy them I couldn't do it with kids, I see my friends with their kids and the stresses etc not being able to do what ever, I know it will always hurt but yeah it's time to move on, life does feel like its on hold and it sucks it's like you can't plan anything just incase. You feel stuck unable to move on

[TTC1]

I feel the same as moomechanic. I also have let go of the possibility and enjoying my child free life. A work colleague came back from a beautiful weekend on a nearby island and raved about it. DH and I will pop over ourselves and enjoy it in a month. Also I have had my first month free of clomid and I am such a calmer happier person. I have my sex drive back again and we only dtd when we feel like it not because we have to. It feels so wonderful to rediscover each other and our lives again. I can't believe how obsessed I was with ttc and missing out on life experiences - all the hope and disappointments.
I am really accepting our fate and when experiencing what that means for us I am not devastated.
A question to you ladies, if adoption was a possibility would you explore it?

[moomechanic]

Thanks
I've looked alot into adoption and fostering but think maybe I would just be setting myself up for more heartache, adoption is such a hard process these days and no guarantees