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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010

    Default 8 Month Old Doesn't Like Cuddles

    My DS has never really liked being cuddled. When I was pregnant with him I couldn't wait to breastfeed, to co-sleep, to massage him and shower him with affection.

    I had to stop breastfeeding at 3 months and he has never fallen asleep with me apart from when he was very tiny.

    I have tried giving him massages (from birth) and he just wriggles and squirms and wants to get away.

    When I try to cuddle him and say 'ohhh cuddles' and rock him back and forth he pushes me away and whinges.

    We had a bit of a rough night last night and at 5am this morning I was so tired so took him into bed with me and tried to settle him there. Normally when he has trouble sleeping I will leave him in the cot and 'shhhh', sing softly and rub his back. In my bed I sung softly to him and rubbed his back and all he did was scratch and pull at my face and neck, head butt me, kick and squirm and cry. It really hurts that I can't comfort him.

    It really worries me and I wonder what he will be like when he is bigger and stronger, or if we have to go somewhere such as on a plane during his sleep time. There is no way he will sleep in my arms. Or if he ever gets sick (hasn't yet, fingers crossed) and won't let me comfort him.

    He likes being picked up by me, but I think it is more so he can get up and see what's happening more than for affection.

    It's not like he doesn't need attention and settling. I would describe him as quite an unsettled baby and sometimes I feel like he is constantly whinging (even when he is not hungry or tired), but I don't know what he wants. Unfortunately Mummy cuddles don't make everything better

    Anyone else's baby like this?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Yep, that's my DD to a T!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi. yes, my DS, 9.5m, is pretty much the same. It does sometimes upset me. I had to give up brest feedign at 3m too, due to breast refusal. I had thought that all babies were cuddly creatures but it seems not...he usually wants his own space, and like your son, likes being picked up but mainly to look around. When he's really upset, cuddles from me dont usually help at all (unless he's hurt himself) - he generally wnats distraction in the form of a walk or trip outside.

    What I am realising though with my DS is that he loves tickles, roughhousing, etc, nose-to-nose, raspberries etc. So we still get the physical contact, it's just not in a very cuddly way. Will your son engage in that sort of thing?

    As for the plane, I thought my DS wouldnt sleep on me either, but he did (albeit after some crying) - and has done so for about 3 trips now. He wont sleep as long as in his cot but he'll have a catnap.

    The other good thing abt our situation (sorry not trying to minimise things but sometimes it can help to see the other side) is that we dont have to spend hours rocking them off to sleep, weaning them off co-sleeping etc...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My DS is 18months and is still like this, if you pull him up on your knee for a quick cuddle you are more than likely going to get responded with a kick on the chops as he tries to get away!

    He has slept in our bed once since he was 6 weeks old and that was whilst we were on holiday not 2 weeks ago and for some reason the bringing into our bed when he woke at 4:00am worked, its never worked before (luckily I can count on my hands the number of times hes woken during the night!).

    He does find comfort in me though, if he falls over or is upset by somethig he will come up for a quick cuddle/pat. It literally takes 30secs and hes cheered up and ready to go. Patting his bum will settle him to sleep, worked almost 100% when he was 8 months, now its more like 30%!

    At 8 months obviously he wasnt as mobile but the same principles kind of applied.

    He is very interactive with DH & I (and daycare, grandparents etc), playing chasey games or peek-a-boo, will read a book with me for a couple of mins but is much much happier being free to run!

    Hes been on 12 flights in his life and has always been fine. Now hes odler having a seat next to me which is free is great, and all of the airlines I have flwon have been accomodating. He sits on my knee til take off which is usually easy to distract him with something, will sit on his own chair after that and when is ready for asleep I put his head in my lap and he sleeps across the other chair.

    I love his independance (but boy do I worry about him getting older and more stubborn) but it would be nice to have snuggles occassionally, snuggles normally is accompanied by sickness and that aint fun!


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