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  1. #31
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    I want to say disrespectful but there are lots of 'ifs' that I have that dont make it quite so bad:

    *if it his your sisters 'home' also then some mutual respect between her and your parents has to be found
    *if it is a longterm (and by the sounds of it - it is) your parents needs some respect for their relationship
    *if this is only a short term thing whilst house is getting built then I do think compromise is needed

    I had fairly liberal parents, bfs were allowed to stay over from about the age of 15, in seperate bed/rooms. From about 16-17 onwards (and this is long term bfs, not one night stands/flings) bf could stay in our rooms. Whilst still at school bfs were only allowed to sleepover on weekends.

    Atm, I think I have the same views as my parents, but DS is only 18months so who knows what I will be saying when the time comes!

  2. #32
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    my parents had same rule and they asked me leave when i broke it... and i only broke it coz we came home from concert at 2am and were just too tired to travel the extra 40mins to his house.

    as for my kids... if they come over and have sex in day time then i wont be too upset (better then doing it in car, park, public toilet) but letting them stay night ... not until 17.5 because if they want to live together at night like adults then they can do that in their own house. teens will have sex and unlike me i dont want mine to have to go to a park in cold car to do it.

    compramise is way to go.

  3. #33
    TimTamsandTea's Avatar
    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    Thanks everyone.
    To answer a few questions:
    *My sister does not pay board, neither does she have any domestic responsibilities.
    *B/F uses facilities he doesn't have at home (uses washing machine, dryer) and eats freely out of my parent's cupboard and fridge without replacing or paying for anything. My folks are very generous people and wouldn't dream of accepting anything anyway, but it's the principle that matters here, I think.
    *My parents have spoken to her (on the first occassion b/f slept over and several weeks later). She chose to ignore their requests. How do you discipline a person in their late 20's when she ignores what happens to be one of the few rules they have ever tried to impose on her. It's not a matter of not being bothered enough by it.
    *B/f will often take a day off work (either Monday or Friday) and mooch around my parent's house while mum and sis are at work and dad is sleeping (nightshifter)

    To the few people who raised the fact that they found my parents disrespectful, I had never considered that. In fact, I find it a little bizarre. How does allowing sleepovers respect my sister's relationship, particularly when they already have an option of doing this at b/f's house? In fact, how is sleeping over necessary at all?
    Last edited by TimTamsandTea; 14-02-2012 at 12:19.

  4. #34
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    Tbh, in their position, I wouldn't be staying there at all! How bizarre! Why, when you have your own place, would you spend so much time there?

    Weird!!


    You'll have to excuse the iPhone auto correct. It sax!

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    Your sister is older than me, and if I was spending the night anywhere and was told I couldn't share a bed with DP I'd probably think whoever said that was crazy. If it was my parents, I'd be less likely to listen than if it was HIS parents for example (cos I know how far I can push my own parents... lol).

    That said... they have somewhere else to go so I think it's weird they're at your parents instead.

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    At that age I would not like to be told I couldn't sleep with my partner. I think it's quite offensive actually.

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    Your parents house so it is their rules - pretty simple really.

    If your sister doesn't like it she is old enough to look after herself and leave.

    The BF, and to a lesser extent your sister,seem to be taking advantage of your parents generous nature. There is no way that my parents, or I, would put up with it.

    I do not know if I would ever be comfortable with DS having sleep overs with his GF/BF before they are adults but I will cross that bridge when/if we come to it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexander Beetle View Post
    At that age I would not like to be told I couldn't sleep with my partner. I think it's quite offensive actually.
    The parents are not saying that their daughter cannot sleep with him, just that they do not want it to happen in their house. They have the bf's house to go to. I do not see how the daughter would have any grounds to be offended by that, disappointed maybe but not offended.

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    Quote Originally Posted by louellyn View Post
    The parents are not saying that their daughter cannot sleep with him, just that they do not want it to happen in their house. They have the bf's house to go to. I do not see how the daughter would have any grounds to be offended by that, disappointed maybe but not offended.
    I understand. However if they were married it would be a different story, in which case I find it outdated and offensive and I would tell my parents that. What if they said they couldn't sleep together because they were mixed race (as an example). Would everyone still be saying their house their rules? They are building a house together so there is commitment.

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    Hmmmmm... well I guess I can't talk as we cannot control ourselves during stays at DP's parents' house.. I don't know what it is about that place!!!

    I guess it's bad that she's making your parents uncomfortable, although, sharing a room doesn't necessarily = having s3x. I think it's a bit off to be thinking or wondering about what your adult kids are doing at night :\

    I'd be puzzled to say the least if ANYONE told me I couldn't share a room with DP.


 
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