+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Grrrrrr husbands!

    My turn for a vent.....
    god I hate being married. I feel like all of a sudden I see him through new eyes. Maybe this happens to everyone when you have been married more than a decade. Maybe it's a midlife crisis. He is a sulky pushy angry man who has serious hate issues when it comes to women, I do not want to be in this relationship with him, but he says he loves being married and claims all the time that he loves me. I am obviously not bringing out the best in him, due to some of the terrible things he says and does. I know he could be happier with someone else, I just wish he could see it. I can't see any way of having a calm separation. I accept that the easiest thing is to stay another 8 years until the kids are grown up and therefore not having to live between 2houses, I just feel like its not fair to me or him to do that, he could be working at finding the right person while he is still young. I am starting to think that men and women just can't live together and get along..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Just realized how sulky that post sounded! I will just jump the gun by saying I do not feel that I am depressed, I am happy with most aspects of my life excluding my husband.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Launceston
    Posts
    13,466
    Thanks
    732
    Thanked
    2,355
    Reviews
    35
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    is it possible he is depressed?

    Have you consider counseling?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    45
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    14
    Reviews
    0
    my parents stayed together for 13yrs before they got a divorce and i still now wish they'd separated LONG before then.
    Kids pick up on their parents feelings-as much as u think u may be hiding them.
    There is probably a lot of tension or lack of communication too (i assume)??

    It's by no means easy to separate, or have the kids go through a divorce/have shared custody. But in the long term, i'd rather parents do what's honest and real, than continue a lie for xxxx amount of years.

    While they mightn't understand what's going on, if there is no love/communication in your relationship then you're only hurting everyone in the family.

    Have you tried any counselling at all?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    It may be depression in him, the line of work he isin it is very common, only his behaviour has always been like this, I just am seeing it for how it really is, if that makes sense. Itbis hard to imagine having the kids grow up in a separated family, as my parents are still together. Hubby's parents divorced when he was little and he has sooooo much bitterness about it, I am terrified it will do that to my kids. My oldest is extremely anxious, I know she feels the tension in the house, and she is the one that has copped his angry side at times. The kids do like spending time with their dad though, and I don't want to take that opportunity away from them ,I think that is where hubby's bitterness comes from, not being able to see his dad...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Trentsmummy, we haven't been to counseling together. I have seen a psychologist over the years, I have nobody else to talk to and his response is 'talk to someone else, I don't want to hear your women's theatre', so I went to one for a few sessions after some family tragedies a few years ago. I would do counseling, but not to try to mend things with him, I honestly don't think he'd go.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    45
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    14
    Reviews
    0
    personally i know i had a better relationship with my dad AFTER my mum and him separated.
    He actually made time for me, instead of just throwing me money or buying me anything and everything to make up for him always working.
    as long as u keep reminding your kids that its not their fault ur separating-and speak to them regularly about how they're feeling about it all. Some parents dont talk to their kids about it, and the kids are told to just accept it, and then most of them blame themselves.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    207
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked
    22
    Reviews
    0
    I dont have much advice other than ,
    I hope you can work something out, and as pp have said i think as hard as it might be, sometimes its easier to have happy parents that live apart rather than sad ones that live togther!
    only you can make that decision

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Yeah, and if it was a friend asking for advice I'd be the first to say 'leave, don't put up with someone who is that selfish'. I know I'm not the first person to ever be unhappy in their marriage. I'm starting to understand why people suggest not to get married when you are a teenager. I am amazed that to other people our marriage seems perfect, when it couldn't be more dysfunctional. I know how much happier I'll be on my own, I've always been on my own even though I've been married if that makes sense. He has never been on his own, barely copes with me doin heaps for him so it concerns me. I'm not looking to be a bisch and destroy his life, but I know that's not how he'll see it. When our house finally is sold I'm prepared to leave with my car full of belongings and my kids, that's it!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Did you take your husbands last name?
    By Elijahs Mum in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 135
    Last Post: 09-08-2012, 16:34
  2. Grrrrrr dp vent!!!!
    By Jemma87 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-01-2012, 21:31

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Carmel's Beauty Secrets
7 Day Nail Growth Boosting Method Carmel's Beauty Secrets
The Nail Growth Boosting Method, will help transform your nails in just 7 days. You will also notice a big difference in their strength. It's so easy and only needs to be performed once a month.
Get your Nail Growth Boosting Method at the link below.
featured supporter
Heinz Baby Basics
Our BPA Free range offers you a choice for every stage of your baby’s feeding development. You’ll love our brilliant colours, inspired designs and innovative features. Heinz Baby Basics caters for your baby’s needs!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!