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  1. #1
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    Default Nearly 3 and refuses to wee in potty or toilet

    My daughter is 3 next month and REFUSES to use the toilet or potty. She doesn't have accidents, but when she is not wearing a nappy, she holds it in. Last Thursday she held it in for seven hours, and in that time she had a cup of milk, a cup of juice, and heaps of water.
    She will tell me "Mummy, I am not a baby, I can wear undies today" but then she holds it in and flat out refuses to use the toilet. I have tried just leaving her and waiting for her to have an accident, but we get nothing.
    I have tried reward charts, bribery, sitting her there and pouring water slowly into a bowl in front of her.
    I know plenty of kids who are "not ready" and have accidents every hour, but I don't know of any other kid who is flat out refusing.
    Suggestions? I am starting to think there is something wrong?

  2. #2
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    Buy something she REALLY wants and tell her she can have it when she's done a wee and poo in the toilet? I don't really know. I came here to find advice to tt my nearly 4yo!

  3. #3
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    3 years old is a very normal age to still be in nappies, despite what all these mothers claim.Honestly, some of them get earlier everytime they mention it! 'Oh Josh was potty trained by the times he was 2 and a half!' Next time I hear her telling the story its jumped to 2, then 18 months!

    When she says she's not a baby and can wear undies, what does she say when you ask her where she would like to do wees then? If she's not a baby she must be a big girl, especially if she wears undies.....so how does she feel when she wees in her nappy? Does she get upset and think shes a baby?

    I see nothing wrong with allowing her to wear undies all the time but get her to tell you when she needs wees so you can put a nappy on her to do it in, then wash and put her undies back on.

    Its such a huge transition for them, id just take it in baby steps.

  4. #4
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    My daughter is really looking forward to going to school. So I encouraged her by saying well if you want to go to school one day you have to wee on the toilet. That was enough to encourage her to go. She is so desperate to be a big school girl.

    We did try and reward her with stickers a bike and such but didnt work.

    Good luck! Hopefully she goes for you soon.

  5. #5
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    My ds was the same and would just hold it. I came to understand when he would only use my mums toilet- she didn't have the thomas the tankengine toilet seat, she didn't have the accessories or potties. He just wanted to use the toilet the way he had seen me do it.

    Monkey see Monkey do I guess.

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    Maybe try a special 'goody bag' full of lots of fun stuff that she'd be interested in playing with.

    Get her to help pick out the goodies, make a big deal about how each time she does a wee or a poo in the toilet that she'll get to pick a special item from the goody bag.

    This worked a treat for my DD.

    I put stuff like a few golden books, nail polish (that only I could use on her to paint her toenails), a shimmery lip balm, sticker activity books and a few cheapy toys from the $2 shop. It was just enough to get her motivated and into a habit of using the toilet.

    The toys ran out after a week or so but she didn't mind as she could see that the goodies were running out the more she went (but it also meant she had lotsa cool new stuff to play with).

    I guess you could keep topping it up if you think she needs extra motivation?

    Good luck!

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    Oops......duplicate post! Sorry!

  8. #8
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    My DS made a massive tt leap at 3yrs after he started preschool and saw all the other kids using the toilet.
    Is there anywhere you could take her she could witness something similar?

    Also, what about trying the mummy and child toilets in the parents room at a big shopping centre, so you can both sit down together on the big & little toilet? Just to get her to go at all, so she can realise it isn't a big deal.

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    My son is in undies now during the day and has been for a few months but he still sometimes on off, cranky days doesn't want to sit on the toilet or try to go to the toilet and just wants to hold it in. Treats seem to do nothing to motivate him when he is like this. I just simply get more stubborn then him. I dont force or hold him there, I just say: we can't do X until you try. After a few minutes he will want to watch a DVD, or eat morning tea, or play with his trains, or go to the play ground or anything other then just hanging around the bathroom, basically. He'll say "I want to do this!" and I just keep replying "Okay, as soon as you have gone to the toilet we can." He always, always eventually cracks and complies, even if he fusses about it, he will do it because he knows I won't crack. 3 year olds have this inane need to resist everything, it's so frustrating!

  10. #10
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    My lovely step daughter did this at 26 months but she held for nearly 12 hours. We then realised like everything else she does it is on her terms and her way...... Which might sound cute but is a PITA to live with. So after 12 hours of holding and then literally flooding a nappy the second it was put on we threw all our nappies out and went cold turkey- explained to her that she could hold on and do her wee's when she wanted to and that meant her wee's had to go in the toilet but because we weren't buying nappies we would spend the nappy money on a treat. So if she got 10 stars we would go buy a treat (she picked a baby pram). And she has been dry ever since day and night. I saw and still see no reason to waste money and pollute the environment if they can go on the toilet. I am in the middle of tt our oldest daughter who is 20months and we are aiming to be day and night by 24 months.


 

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