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  1. #1
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    Default Do you remember the last breastfeed?

    Do you remember the last time you breastfed your now non breastfed child? Do you ever feel a pang of anything about it? Sadness, guilt.. Happiness? Did you wean earlier than you wanted or way later maybe.. I'm going through some stuff right now and part of that is revisiting the memories of ds aged 4 babyhood.. I'm finding I'm having a lot of sadness and guilt about how I breastfed him.. Is that silly or weird do you think?

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    I don't really remember the last feed, I aimed to feed him until 2 years of age and we made it to 2.5 years. I am of very slight build and have back issues so feeding him when he was getting so big was becoming a problem. While I don't remember the last feed itself, I remember him coming into my room and asking for milk and I said we'd get up and have a special breakfast instead.

    I feel sad that the journey is well and truly over, but he wasn't distressed nor upset.... he took it surprisingly well.

    I think it's normal to feel at least a bit of sadness when it's over - it affects our hormones and it's the end of the special breastfeeding relationship.


    I don't think your feelings are weird at all Do you want to talk about it?

  3. #3
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    Oh he was ten and a half months old. I can't remember the actual feed. I remember vaguely waking in the night to him. Letting him have a suck back to sleep.. But thinking there's no milk anymore for some reason.. There probably was. I had a mixed relationship with the whole breastfeeding thing and I never treasured it like I should have. I feel stupid now looking back on it because I think I treated it like a nuisance and I had started mixed feeding so early so I could go out with my friends. There's a lot I could say about that whole time but ill just say I don't think I did the best I could.

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    Not silly at all!

    I carry guilt and sadness from both my kids. I had planned to feed until at least 12 months but it didn't happen for me. I'll never forget DS's last feed..breaks my heart to this day, Im riddled with guilt for not trusting myself...I was sitting on a bench at a fun park with my sister, he was fussing, crying and frustrated as he had been for the last few months. I was about 12 weeks pregnant with DD, DS was just 8 months old. I was convinced he was starving, but the MCHN, ABA (I was a member) and Dr all told me he wasn't. I listened to them. That day I was frustrated and tired, after he'd fussed for 20 minutes I went and bought bottled water, formula and a bottle. He drank it down so fast it broke my heart...he was indeed starving He remained bottle fed until he was about 12 months.

    I can't remember my last feed with DD.. I got to 6 months with her before I began panicking that she would starve too and started bottle feeding along with breastfeeding. Gradually she realised that the bottle was easier and the breastfeeds dropped off by about 8-9 months.

    Years later I discovered that if you fall pregnant it can change your milk, I wish Id known that before DD was born, our breastfeeding journey would have lasted much longer.
    It really eats away at me, I found breastfeeding so easy, very little pain, no attachment issues or cracked nipples, good supply... *sigh* Its taught me to fight the professionals when they think they know it all and Im not convinced.

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    Hugs for you too x

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    I'm currently having to wean as DS is dairy & soy intolerant. I've cut these from my diet to try and continue b/f, but it's close to impossible removing it entirely, so I have to wean on to prescription formula.

    He's only 5mths old so I'm so sad already...I make sure to look at him each time I b/f in case it's our last one I really should have weaned 100% by now, but emotionally I'm still holding on to the night & early morning feeds...

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    You should try be kind to yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be perfect as a mum. I LOVE bubhub, but I find myself feeling less and less perfect the more I read on here.

    Anyway, reading your thread made me think of this analogy my hubby uses all the time...

    Back in '88 when the world expo came to Brissy, his dad bought him a season pass, and being 13 he spent the whole time at the video game section or something like that. His dad always told him 'go out and look at everything, you'll regret it when you're older!' Now that he's an adult, he can see that he probably should have seen what the expo had to offer, but at the time, he was 13 and it would have been torturous to sit through boring adult stuff, just because one day, maybe he would wish he had. That 13 year old had a ball. And its what made him happy at the time.

    Becoming a mum is a tough transition, and we do what we feel is right, what we feel we have to to make it. And I would guess that you made every decision with the best intentions.

    Don't feel bad about what you did or didn't do, just use that hindsight to make sure you are happy with today's choices. xx

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    I was feeding DS at 13 months and I fell pregnant again. Although it dried my milk up I didn't really mind as it seemed quite a natural end to our breastfeeding and would give me my boobs back for a little time before the new bub arrived. Then we miscarried and I was grief stricken, not only for losing the bub but also for stopping breastfeeding for what turned out to be no good reason.

    Luckily I am still happy with how far we made it and how nicely it ended. We had quite a rough trot at the start so I am proud of us.

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    I don't remember the actual feed as we hadn't really planned to wean. DD was about 16mths and had just recovered from gastro - she gave it to me and I assume my supoly dropped because she refused to feed for 4 days straight (was only feeding once during the night at this stage anyway). Tje bonus was that she then stopped waking for her feed altogether! I still miss breastfeeding her though and that was 6months ago

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    The only one I really remember is DD6.

    She was 9 months old and I had to take some medication that was unsuitable whilst breastfeeding. So I cut her off for two weeks - one week to take the meds, and a second week to allow the meds to clear my system. The whole time I had to wear inaccessable clothes and she would climb all over me pulling at my top. I had to get others to put her to bed since if I tried she would want to feed. Then after the two weeks I was able to let her again. She fed voraciously, multiple times in one day, then the following was uninterested and refused to feed at all.

    I feel bad that she stopped early, but it was necessary.


 

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