Not starting TTC until the end of 2012

[Plan2bamummy]

... Sorry double post

[CitrusRain]

Future, thanks for the great info. I think it's worth going private this time but will still probably birth at the public hospital as a private patient due to facilities i need in case of repeat of previous pregnancy and birth complications. Also, well done on the smoking!!!

Plan2b, great about your results. Hopefully mine will be good too. Fx I absolutely think it's necessary to plan for a baby 6 months ahead. I'm stressing now that I'm going to be starting in a few weeks and I h ENT been taking my vitamins and will have to stop my meds for my torn achilles. Hopefully it won't flare up too badly. Going to stop them this week and cut down my running to 2km/day.

Blachash, apart from some horrible midwives (granted they were really under pressure with 3 prem births when I was in labour (including mine) and a dropped bubba in postnatal) the experience was much better than I expected. I'll probably go there again but have my private ob. The waiting times and food were horrible though but one private ob I went to had me waiting for 2 hours so I was expecting that.
I really wish I had thrown out my midwife. DH told her to "shut the h3ll up" after repeatedly telling her to leave because she was upsetting me so much (something to do with my phi and not giving me a private room) and then upsetting me even more by yelling at me. She also pulled faces at me to mimic me while I was pushing (imagine puffed out cheeks and crossed eyes!) which angered me so much I couldn't push for 2 contractions. And this is the tip of the iceberg! I'm having a Doula next time and she's quite good at standing up for herself so I won't have that problem again!
I have freezing feet too but not during pregnancy. I found it hard to keep them cool. They're icicles again now though. Dh hates when I touch him with them!

Afm, making all my calls to the ob, phi, hospital tomorrow. Getting excited! Xoxox

[HOMS]

Wow, so much action on here lately. It's great!

I have mentioned this before too but I will be going private because DH is a midwife and basically has the team picked out for me at his work. He would be happy if I went to the birthing centre but I decided that I wanted to have the best care possible and I think for both of our peace of mind his work would be the best place to have our first.

Nat - yes most birthing centres don't do high risk so you would be ruled out unfortunately. I think it doesn't matter where you go there will always be the possibility of getting sub par staff though. It is your birth so you do it where it is right for you and make damn sure everyone else is doing what's right for you. It still breaks my heart you had what I consider to be the epitomy of unprofessionalism during your last experience and it drags everyone in that profession down, which is awful. Fx that all goes well this time and you get the type of pg and birth care that you deserve.

Blackash - I can't believe the amounts being thrown around either for the cost of getting bubs out. I am going private but thankfully we won't be spending more than $2k (and no it isn't mates rates). I read about 5 different pg books when we were thinking of TTC this year and tbh I found they all pretty much said the same thing.

future - Good on you honey for cutting down. We are all here to support you. I think once we get the last little bit of the credit card paid off and get our septics removed in the next 6 months I think I will feel much better about having a bub because we will have money to plough into saving and overpaying on the mortgage instead of into other rubbish. Job security sucks for me next year too but to be honest I got a job this year so something will come up for next year.

Plan2b - glad all came back ok on bloods. I just remembered I had bloods done earlier this year and forgot to get the results from the dr. Oh well, it was only to recheck my MMR immunity and really it doesn't matter now till next year. I love being organised too and definitely believe in planning ahead - was all ready to go until everything went a bit hay wire this year. Sadly we can't control everything and plans are just that.

AFM - our first wedding anniversary was great and the Avengers movie is a must see. Nothing else to report other than I am a bit nostalgic cos we would have been TTC about now. My cycles have gone a bit strange because the last two have been 30 and 29 days when I usually have between a 34 and 36 day cycle and have done since I came off the pill in July last year. Maybe it's the new job and being happy with life finally after years of hating what I do and dreading going to work No idea. I'm not complaining though as it means I am in a more "normal" pattern. Just wondering if waiting until next year was the right decision or not.

[CitrusRain]

HOMS, I guess I've dealt fairly well with the birth part now and can openly talk about it without crying but, yes, the mid's unprofessionalism certainly made what was already going to be a horrible experience (PPROM, prem birth with precipitous labour and PE verging on E) much worse. Luckily I had a fantastic OB though. I don't fully blame the mid. She was very stressed out due to having a number of emergencies at the same time (I'll never forget as long as I live the poor lady in the room next to mine and the comments of the birth suite clearing staff and postnatal nurses) so I understand why she wasn't paying attention to my situation. As far as she was aware I was stable, not in labour and just awaiting a room in the anti-natal ward. Then all of a sudden I was in transition (having only laboured for 40 mins) and both of our heart rates went psycho. It's not a usual thing to happen out of the blue like that so I understand why she panicked. I don't understand why she was so mean to me though. The only think I can thinking is that I look very young and I had my best friend there (dh was sent home to get a bag of things for me and sort our insurance) so maybe she thought I was a young single mum because her attitude changed slightly when he returned just before the birth. Still no excuse but as a teacher of a pregnant teens class I know how some people treat them and that was what I got.

My cycle is also a little out this month. I've been late only a few times ever and HCG was detected every time. I was 5 days late this month (which is a lot for a 27 day cycle) and had a heavy 7 day AF which is also not normal for me. I won't go into the specifics but I knew it wasn't a normal AF. I don't poas anymore as I've had a few chems (and a m/c) and don't want the false hope. It's easier to wait until 6 or 7 weeks and have a BT if no AF. If I was actively trying I may have been a little more upset but I can just think of this as a late AF. Who knows it might have been
Edit: Thought i should mention I now know the reason for the chems and M/C is that I have a short luteal phase which can be helped along with progesterone

As far as knowing the right time and making the right decision about when to TTC, that is something that only you will be able to know. I understand the waiting game. It can be so difficult but being a mum requires you to give up your old life (for a new better one IMO). It requires you to become a different version of yourself and it's intense. But amazing You have so many great opportunities at the moment and they will set you up for a great future. As hard as it is to push the mummy urges down I think you've made a good decision. In saying that I chose the opposite route to you and turned down the great job for a baby and I couldn't be happier Follow your head but listen to your heart .

[futureherder]

Plan2bmummy – Cutting the caffeine is hard, I am on many coffees a day at the moment! I will switch it to a herbal tea and water eventually but not just yet J one thing at a time. Are you replacing the V with something? I find that helps a bit. Woohoo that is great news with your blood test results! Remember to get your whopping cough vaccination well before TTC too. Wow $1500 is fantastic!!! Your on to a winner there! You are not nuts for planning, I started 12 months before TTCing DD lol I actually bought some things. I completely agree doing things in advance gives you more choice!

Blackash – I had DD at Frances Perry above the Women’s, I have heard great things about it from the mums I spoke to there. The only thing that is a killer there is the parking prices...over the 5 weeks I was there we spent around $400-$500 on parking!!! Fingers crossed you wont be there anywhere near 5 weeks! So wish I could just put the money I will be spending on private hospital/OB to the baby but this time around I am planning on buying a lot less things for bubs then I did for DD, I wasted soooo much money last time. I only need a few things thing time. I want to get a Moses basket, Ergo NB insert, clothes and I think that is it! Bottles and stuff if I cant breastfeed but that is all. I am not sure about a cot too, it depends on the condition of the cot once DD is out of it (it is set up as a toddler bed ATM) I will have the Moses basket so fingers crossed bubs can live in that for a while anyway. I am trying to associate my quitting with getting pregnant but my brain just isn’t making the connection, I think that is because I have been nervous about getting pg again. I am becoming more and more relaxed about it all so fingers crossed by the time I get to major cutting down and quitting all together I will be desperate to quit for my future bub. I loved reading pregnancy books before having DD but this time around I am so happy about not reading them lol knowledge is power though! Now that I have my own idea of how I want to parent and look after my babies I actually find reading more confusing, although I think it is always important to learn new things! I am reading ‘French children don’t through their food’ or something like that. I am really liking it. Oh and my feet actually heated up during my last pregnancy and I usually have chilly feet too. So I have my fingers crossed for you DP. Its good that he is reading books DP couldn’t be bothered, he went to the man’s business pre natal class and hated it...such a shame because he could learn something.

Nat – How are your phone calls going today? What hospital are you thinking about? Man sorry to hear about AF this month L even if you were not actively trying it can still be sad L I have a short LP too but it hasn’t affected me getting pg or staying pg thank goodness! I don’t know why I miscarried last time but I held on to bubs until 12 weeks so I am guessing it was genetic.

Homs – When next year did you decide to wait until? My cycles jump around a bit too and things change around a bit when you hit 30. I honestly don’t think 12 months is going to make a massive difference but if you are concerned there is nothing wrong with getting a ref to a FS and checking your eggs?? If I was planning on ‘putting off’ my family after hitting 30 I would do it for sure if the worry was going to be going on in the back of my head.

AFM – thanks so much for your support ladies regarding smoking, I understand it is a completely stupid and selfish thing for me to so and the fact that I have already experienced a m/c should teach me that I shouldn’t do anything that could affect the healthiness of my womb but yet here I am! Thank you not being judgemental of me because honestly I deserve to be judged badly. Will I am starting to think that I need to get my bum in to gear with getting my pre TTC bloods done. I have worked out roughly when I will be Oing in July (30/07) so I need to get my whopping cough vaccine and bloods taken now!!! Just in case I get pg when we are not trying and not preventing. OMG I can’t believe it is less than 3 months until I will stop preventing! I really need to get on to the budget and have some money put aside...I also have to have my teeth fixed up before then! Better go book another few appointments! I need to complete two root canals and have a few fillings! If the dental work isn’t done I will need to put it off more L

Anyway a few questions for you guys. Are you going to have a nursery for bubs or are they going to be in your room? If nursery what sort of nurseries (furniture, colours etc) do you like. If bubs will be in your room where will they sleep?

[Blackash]

Morning ladies.

Future I had a look at FPH when we were thinking of going private and it looks LOVELY. Are you going to go there again? I know what you mean about the parking! Definitely hope I won’t have to be there for too long – but I might get DP to drop me off and go park up near Melb uni where it’s a bit cheaper. Just another cost!! I also plan on not spending too much $$ on ‘stuff’. I will spend more on the essentials – cot, carseat (obviously!), pram. But for the little things or the slightly less necessary things I might wait it out a bit.. I’m also blessed with a mum and MIL who LOVE to shop… So I have no doubt they’re going to love buying things for a future grandbaby.

Great question about the nursery. DP and I have been talking about that. We have our 2^nd bedroom as a study at the moment. So if we get UTD we will probably put the desk in storage and move the filing cabinet to the garage and create the nursery. Our dilemma is – we want to get a good cot that converts to a toddler bed, but the SIDS recommendations is that bubs sleeps in the room with mum and dad for the first 6-12 months so I would like to follow that. Our bedroom would be big enough to have a cot in it but it would be squishy. So… do we get a bassinette (another extra cost) for the bedroom for the first 6 months? Or just squish the cot into the bedroom? Is a bassinette as safe to sleep in as a cot? And what’s the point of creating a nursery if bubs is in the bedroom with us?? The idea of co-sleeping scares me. I don’t think I’d be able to relax and sleep because I’d be afraid of rolling on bubba.


Nat what a horrid midwife! So very unprofessional. And such a shame because I think people can put up with really difficult circumstances if they’re treated with dignity and respect. We all know hospitals can be crazy, challenging places but if you have things explained to you and are treated like a human then at least you can understand what’s happening.
How did you go with the phonecalls? Getting so exciting now!!

Definitely no judgement about the smoking.. I’m sure we all have vices of some kind!! I have almost totally cut out the caffeine which is making me feel better. Next on the hitlist is to cut down on the wine.. I don’t drink that much and it’s not like I have to cut it out totally before we’re even TTC, but I think to feel a bit healthier I should stick to just a couple of glasses one night a week. When work is stressful I get sucked in to having a glass or 2 on weeknights and it’s not a great habit.

Question – what pre-natal vitamins are you planning on taking (or took last time)? My doc thinks elevit is a waste of money. He told me that because my diet is very good that all I should do is start folate supplements 3 months before TTC and once we start TTC make sure I get enough iron (ie spinach etc). He doesn’t think the other vitamins in elevit are worth the extra $$. It’s hard not think well why wouldn’t I take them.. it can’t hurt… any thoughts?

Hope everyone’s week is going well.
xx

[CitrusRain]

Futureherder, My phone calls are going horribly Found out that I don't have the cover that I thought I did (and asked for) and will have to serve the 12 month waiting period again. So, I decided to transfer over to latrobe who only have a 9mth wait until it's sorted out with my old fund. Haven't had a chance to call the hospitals but hopefully I will today. I'm tossing up POWP and RHW atm. It would be RHW as a private patient though and only in the case of another preterm birth needing NICU or me needing ICU.

Sorry to hear about your m/c it's such a horrible thing to go through, especially that late. Hugs!

To answer all your questions, I will have the new bub in my room in the cot until they're sleeping through or close to it and then they will go into their own room. We have a really huge bedroom so there is plenty of room or a pseudo nursery there. DS has a plane and helicopter theme (living textiles casey's ABC) with white furniture and mainly blue, red and green with a little bit of brown. His room is very big but we have filled it with lots of furniture. It's really light and airy and looks like a real toddler's room. I love it! The new bub will go into a smaller room and will also have white furniture. For a girl I love either the cocalo tropical punch or maddison sets and for a boy I like the cocalo aviator or monkey mania sets. I like to focus on the colours other than pink and blue but still have themes that have those colours in them. Dh and I have names picked already too, Jamie middle name ? and Olivia Lauren. They're family names like DS' are and we're quite traditional. If we have twins then we have a few girls names we like but have no idea on a second boy's name. Hopefully we won't need to worry! I'd be pretty upset if I fell pregnant with twins tbh! Have you thought of themes, colours and names yet?

[CitrusRain]

Blackash, I did the research on the vitamins and am on elevit it now. My bloods for vitamins and minerals came back perfect last time so I'll keep with the same thing this time. It is very expensive though.

My neighbour's 20 month old is still sleeping in a big basinnet in her room so if you get a big one it would be fine but I had ds in a Moses basket in his cot for a while and that worked well for us until he grew out of it at about 4 months. You can get Moses baskets on a stand and they're a lot less expensive than a bassinet. I personally thing that all basinnets are a huge waste of money but I see why people like them if they don't have the room.

I'll be making the rest of my calls today phi screaming match first can off the rank.

[Plan2bamummy]

Just a quick question if you catch whopping cough during pregnancy can it be passed on? Reason is apparently the vaccine is free after the birth but $30 before hand ( plus doctors fees to go)

Future- replacing with tea, day 2 and I think I'm going ok so far, I will also hope to go to herbal tea, pure juice and water only eventually. We are thinking of white furniture, was thinking toddler bed to convert later. We wanted bub in our room for a few months, in a bassinet, but I'm thinking we have room for a cot so might save $$$ that way.
Blackash- glad the fph was nice, I'll check ours out in July when I have my pap with the OB. I'm currently on seperate iron and Swisse womens ultivite which has the 500mcg folic acid (but very low iodine) so was going to swap to evilite once I run out. My doc also said it was a waste but I'm spending that on swisse anyway.
Nat- sorry to hear about your experience
Re phi sorry ive missed other posts ( so if your after ob cover then this wont apply) I've been told it's 12months for birth so you only need to get a few months before TTC.
We have also looked at names, we are finding boys names hardest to come up with
Homs- I hope AF is sorted soon, but great news on job front.

Afm- nothing new, did work out that going private is not that much more expensive (with our OB and phi) than public.
If we went public then we would be up for the costs of scans (free at my doctor) also my doctors doesn't bulk bill so out of pocket expense is quite high.

[CitrusRain]

Plan2b, I have no idea about the whooping cough sorry. I got it after ds was born before I left hospital. Latrobe phi has only got a 9 mth wait so I'm paying more and going with them for peace of mind. If I fall at the end of July I'll be 29 weeks when it kicks in. Hopefully won't need it before that and would have to be at the public hospital for the facilities at that gestation anyway.

Afm, I finished making my calls today and was really happy with what they all said. I have an appointment next week with my OB and Obstetric Physician but the public hospital is also looking into if I qualify for their pre-conception counseling and OB program from the start. Actually they would be the same OB and OP as I already see privately but I wouldn't be charged! Yay! I would also see a genetic counsellor and go through midwives that way too but have everything watched over and extra things done unless something happens and then I would just see the OB and OP and maybe Endocrinologist. So confusing! The maternal and fetal medicine lady is calling me back after she reads through my files a little more and receives my old qld files and talks to the docs. fx ! It could save me a mint! Still sounds like a lot of people to see so I have to work out if it's better to pay just to see the two every visit. Big decisions! DH is officially coming home on Monday too. He's so excited (and so am I!) He's such a great Daddy and DS has really missed him. Can't wait!