Warning, this will be long...
So as some may have read my ex broke up with me 5 weeks ago on my 30th birthday after accusing me of being a selfish materialistic bish cause I got upset that the most he did was send me a text message at lunch time, although spending the day with me in bed he did not say a thing, did not even touch me, then 10 minutes before dinner he let lose and stormed out
Things starting going bad between us in November when he 'accidentally' gave me the coldsore virus, down there, on a night I was coming down with DDs chest infection and kept saying no, unfortunately he was not of straight mind at the time so didn't care that I said no due to being sick, so he decided to get me in the mood. He then used this against me telling me this is karma for being such a sl&t before him, he's told me numerous times I deserved this and not once has he shown remorse for his actions. Even when I fell apart in front of him telling him how repulsive I now feel he told me to simply get over it.
He then decided in the beginning of December he would take himself off Prozac which he had been on for 10 years, cold turkey, because apprentantly it was causing liver damage and was his doctors orders (I know no doctor in their right mind would recommend this to someone). This is when he got worst still, basically he only left my bedroom for work or when he had too, eg; Christmas morning, he spent hours upon hours in there, not talking, not touching, just zombie. I begged him to speak to someone, I begged him to go back on his meds, to just get better
Since the break up he has become pure evil, using herpes against me numerous times still, telling me how I can't go be with anyone any more etc etc.
He has also used my childhood abuse by my father against me and then when I got mad confessed he to had been abused a a child but unlike my mother, his protected him, he knows this hits a huge nerve with me
He has also admitted to being addicted to crystal meth for the past 4 years, and although I knew he took it occasionally (don't need lectures here please) he finally confessed he had only been 3 days maximum without it in those 4 years. He was high the night he wouldn't accept me saying no.
Yesterday it all came to a head when he sent me a complete word transcript of all our text messages and advised me he had also recorded all our phone conversations since I contracted herpes in case I ever tried to get back at him.
I'm speechless, this man lay next to me every night through November and December and all the while he was logging all our communications without my knowledge for, as he puts it, 'just in case', who does that? He let me spoil him rotten at christmas where I received presents that where not even things I would like (candles and steak knives, need I say more), he sat in my room while I stressed over him while trying to care for DD, the house, deal with an std I couldn't talk to him about without him going further in a hole, and he was doing this to me?
I feel so used, my privacy and trust so violated by a man I thought I knew
Not once did he say a nice word about me, he did however take great joy in making fun of me despite me losing 20kg while with him to try and 'make' him like me.
I just DON'T get it! How can anyone do that to another person? I have been hurt before but never this bad, and now I have the constant reminder of what he did to me
I'm a mess to say the least and am so grateful for the awesome friends I have left that have seen the evidence of how evil this boy is (he can not be considered a man).
I am going to the police tomorrow to see what I can do, he has literally destroyed me and all I ever did was love him
If you made it this far, thank you xx