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  1. #1
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    Default What is Attachment Parenting?

    I would love it if everyone could do a short summary of what they think it is please.

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    I might not be right, but my opinion is that it is a combination of all/some of these things:

    Co-sleeping
    Baby wearing
    Gentle parenting (no smacking)
    I would assume most would bf
    Child-led parenting
    Little or no separation from parents in the first 12 months to 2 years

    Can't think of any others right now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I might not be right, but my opinion is that it is a combination of all/some of these things:

    Co-sleeping
    Baby wearing
    Gentle parenting (no smacking)
    I would assume most would bf
    Child-led parenting
    Little or no separation from parents in the first 12 months to 2 years

    Can't think of any others right now.
    That's what I think too.

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    I think it is giving the child as much security that their needs will be met as possible. This means they grow up confident that they are being looked after well and this gives then a secure attachment to their caregiver and a sense of security in the world - hopefully leading to greater confidence.

    For me it's about always trying to avoid distress to the child as an infant, and when the child gets older and gets upset as you enforce boundaries, it's about providing comfort to help the child work through their feelings of frustration. It's not permissive parenting.

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  6. #5
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    Oh, and no cc or cio

    Demand feeding
    Last edited by BigRedV; 12-02-2012 at 18:03.

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    Attachment parents to me is responsive parenting & 'baby led' parenting. And cosleeping, baby wearing etc could be a part of that if that's what the baby needs.

    And likely involves Feeding on demand - be it breast or bottle.

    Responding to cries - no CIO/CCing.

    Gentle parenting - not smacking etc. not disciplining through intimidation or humiliation.

    But I guess overall to me it's more about meeting babies/child's emotional needs, focusing on bonding with baby/children, rather than a set of rules to follow (because all babies & children have different emotional needs)

    I don't think it's a WAY OUT radical new concept. I think it's almost sad that it ever needed to be clarified. I think it's a bit in response to like our grandparents & parents age of parenting. The children are seen not heard, crying is good for their lungs, if you pick them up you'll just teach them that it they cry you'll come running and what would easily pass as normal discipline 50 years ago these days would call abuse without hesitation. So I think AP theory is more about validating what most parents just do anyway if not inundated with (bad) advice.

    Though these days we have 'sleep experts' & 'baby whispers' writing some pretty worrying books.

    Oh and another thing that's a theme of AP that I've picked up on is respecting my children's personhood. Upsets my mum sometimes seeing how I am with jasper, because apparently I show him & his opinions & feelings more respect than her parents showed her up to the day she left home and became an 'adult'.

    And I don't always get it 'right'.
    Last edited by Boobycino; 12-02-2012 at 18:06.

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  9. #7
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    To me it's about allowing your children to move away from you when they are comfortable doing so (weaning from the breast on their terms, moving to their own bed on their terms, etc) and being in tune with your children, being responsive to their needs, and using the type of discipline you and they are comfortable with.

    I also think it completely changes as they become older and more independent. Anyone raised (or at least partially raised) a teenage boy hell bent on destroying his life, and the lives of everyone around him? No amount of gentle talking helps, but pulling out a gun sure as $h¡T doesn't help either!

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    Basically it's parenting in a way that is respectful to both their physical AND emotional needs. Usually this means but is not restricted to co-sleeping, natural birth, breastfeeding, and babywearing however these only apply to little ones. With my almost 3 year old attachment parenting means understanding that she will at times need my support when dealing with things that might be upsetting to her, having realistic expectations of her behaviour and knowing what is he appropriate and allowing her to make her own decisions. There are consequences when she does the wrong thing (eg if she hits another child I tell her "we don't hit our friends, he won't want to play with you of you hit." then if she does it again she's removed from the play or we go home) and there are boundaries which I remind myself are not always clear to a toddler and she may need reminding and redirection.

    This afternoon we were leaving a party. She was having a lot of fun and naturally didn't want to go but the baby was tired and the party was wrapping up. I said she could play for 5 more minutes while I collected our things but after that it was home time. After 5 minutes I helped her with her shoes and she began to get upset again. I gently reminded her that we would see x and x later in the week and x and x at Playgroup but for now it was time to head home. So she hugged her friends and we left and she was fine.

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