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  1. #1
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    Question Family dinners/gatherings - What does your family do? Do you contribute?

    I want to get an idea of what other families do when it comes to food & ediquette at family dinners/gatherings.

    1.Do you all bring something along or does the person who is hosting it provide everything?

    2. Do you help to cook, serve, clean up afterwards? Or do you expect to be waited on as a guest?

    We just had our daughters birthday today and I'm exhausted. As usual my hubby's family came along, sat on their behinds, ate, drank and then left. Food was everywhere, toys all over the place, dishes pilled up.
    Given that we're a large family now, when they come over they never offer to bring anything, which would lighten the load and make it much more enjoyable for me too. I always offer to make something to take along to there gatherings, but it's never returned unless I ask (which they hate) which makes me feel so uncomfortable doing.

    In my family, it's a shared load. With every gathering we all happily contribute. To me it's just manners. They don't see it this way. I'm so sick of slaving for these rude, ungrateful slobs, who don't even teach their kids to say please and thank you.

    So how does it work in your family?

  2. #2
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    We always chip in & bring something....inevitably the host usually ends up doing a bit more than others, but still, everyone will bring a salad/dessert/cheese platter/whatever.....and the ones we know are no good cooks get delegated things to bring like drinks, bread, lollies, etc

    I dont think it's unreasonable of you to ask them to bring something, they're family! Or at the very least help with the dishes before they leave....

  3. #3
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    For our family, the hosts provide everything. Usually everyone offers to bring something but its more a gesture than anything because its always refused
    Alcohol is not supplied tough, if you want to drink, you BYO.

    Everyone pitches in once at the event though, cooking, serving etc. Everyone cleans up afterwards, Men , women & children..except my grandma..she is 91, she sits down or is held down

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    DHs family everyone brings a plate.

    Then kids clear up and do dishes, sweep, vacuum.

    They also dish up for their grandparents and get them drinks as needed.

    DHs parents, siblings, siblings spouses, nieces and nephews, great grand kids etc... comes to 50 people. We get together very often.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post

    Then kids clear up and do dishes, sweep, vacuum.

    They also dish up for their grandparents and get them drinks as needed.
    I should adopt this method..

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    Our family has a boy meat and alcohol policy and the host provides salads bread sauces etc. None of us like washing up so we generally us disposable plates and bowls most of the time. There are also about 50-60 of us if everyone can come.

  7. #7
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    the host provides most, everyone esle contributes

    BYO Alcohol is a MUST

    The children do minimal - we'd prefer they run and play with their cousins

    The Grandparents do minimal - they've done their share over the years ('Cept for Grandma's home made fresh cream sponge) - they generally watch the younger grandkids if needed

    The adults do the mostest

    A family gathering can be up to 30 adults - as many as 30 kids or more

  8. #8
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    Thanks for your replies. Oh my what wonderful families you have. Can you adopt me? I just said to my hubby that I find birthday's such a chore and hate them, which is wrong because I should be enjoying it with my kids, not slaving in the kitchen. My hubby's family is from europe, so do you think this is what Europeans do?? I would think not, but maybe I'm missing something.

    I told my MIL that I am exhausted, and she just laughed it off. Hubby and I need some ideas of what we can next time. His sick of it too. Any ideas??
    They annoy me so much. Thay are such scabbby cheap skates!!!

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    For a birthday party, say it was dd's party, I would organise then clean up after. Yesterday my mum wanted to do lunch so I bought some veges, helped cut them up, my mum cooked it all, my brother and his girlfriend brought the dessert. They brought up the big table, my brother and I set the table, then when we were done my dd cleared off the table, I washed up, my brother's gf dried and dd put it all away whily my brother got the dessert ready then after dessert my mum washed everything up for my brother to take home again. Sometimes we have bring a plate gatherings and we take our own dishes home but because we do finger foods we don't really use plates or anything.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummyoftwo View Post
    Hubby and I need some ideas of what we can next time. His sick of it too. Any ideas??
    They annoy me so much. Thay are such scabbby cheap skates!!!
    Go to a park

    I also have a couple of family members who don't get the rules (they'd arrive empty handed if they could) - so I specifically ask them to bring XYZ on Saturday/Party Day

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to WorkingClassMum For This Useful Post:

    Des1102  (31-07-2013)


 

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