Emotional Response During Pregnancy

[AlwaysTheQuietOne]

For those who have had children or are pregnant now, if you would like to share some feelings...

• What fears did you experience when you were pregnant?
  
  
• What things did you find upset you?
  
• What sort of things did you dream about?
  
• What were you most looking forward to?
  
• What aspect of being pregnant did you most enjoy?
  
• How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your partner?
  
• How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your mother?
  
• If you have had more than one child, how did the pregnancies differ? In what ways were you surprised by the differences or similarities?

[CitrusRain]

I wasn't going to post because my experience with pregnancy was, well, disappointing. But in the interest of helping others who felt like I did during pregnancy I thought I would answer so they know they're not alone.

My main fears were something being wrong with my bub and having to have either an epidural or c-section. I think those women who have either of these are SO brave. Just the thought terrifies more that natural birth.

I was upset about my pregnancy not being anything like I read or heard it would be, being sick every single day for 7 1/2 months (only had morning sickness or 4 months though, rest was athsma, GD, PE), being uncomfortable, not having a lovely round belly like I see everyone else with, having hideous stretch marks, PPROM and going into labour at 34 weeks, the entire birth experience apart from being able to birth naturally, the first few weeks in the NICU, not being able to hold my baby when he was born, having difficulties with BF due to prem, having bonding issues.

I dreamt about what my baby would be like, his little personality, life after he was born, the first moments after he was born and finally meeting him.

The one and only thing I enjoyed about being pregnant was feeling him move and kick inside me. The rest I absolutely hated.

Being pregnant made my relationship with my DH so much stronger. He was so supportive during a very difficult time and for this reason, and seeing how amazing my little DS is, I will be able to do this again.

Being pregnant didn't really effect my relationship with mum. Still strong as ever. It did effect my relationship with my MIL though. We really bonded over the experience.

I've been pregnant more than once but m/c so only really have the experience of one.

[Ponioes]

What fears did you experience when you were pregnant?
In the first trimester I was afraid she wouldn't 'stick'. She was the 3rd IVF embryo transfer and the first one to take, I had a subchorionic haematoma at about week 8 or 9 with a bleed, and a late-night visit to emergency. After that, and before we had the scans I worried that she wasn't physically normal. She was, but then after that I worried that she wouldn't be the full quid intellectually. Then when I was late-term I was classed as high risk because of the transverse lie, so I was hospitalised a week before she came (two weeks before the scheduled C-section) so I was worried before hospy that she would come early and I would have an umbilical prolapse. You know, all the usual stuff, lol!

What things did you find upset you?
To be honest, I was the most placid and relaxed I've ever been in my life and nothing much upset me. I think because I'd read that maternal stress can influence unborn bubs I made a conscious effort not to get upset about things and just let things wash over me. I did get unusually road-ragey though when people would cut me off or do stupid things on the road near me. That has stuck, and I definitely use the car horn much more than before.

What sort of things did you dream about?
I can't really remember anything I dreamed about, never slept long enough or deep enough to dream very well, although I do remember one dream where I gave birth to a litter of puppies!

What were you most looking forward to?
Meeting her! Getting her out of my belly so she would stop kicking my cervix and bladder. She was transverse lie with her arms and legs pointing downwards so I didn't have the cute belly, mine was stretched sideways and she kicked and punched A LOT. She's still very active and DH remarked once "gosh she's a strong kicker, imagine that going on inside you...oh"

What aspect of being pregnant did you most enjoy?
Being able to feel the shape of her head, her hiccups, getting to know her active times, doing the 4D scan and seeing her face properly for the first time.

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your partner?
No sex. But our relationship got stronger, like on another level and now that she's 3 months old still not really any sex to speak of but the relationship just gets better and better. We're both in our 30's but have led pretty selfish lives and I feel like we are both 'grown-ups' now.

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your mother?
Made my mother very happy. I had been estranged from my dad for several years which put a strain on my relationship with mum, but when we started doing IVF I made the decision to build some bridges in that department so my mum can have a relationship with our baby. Now she comes down to babysit twice a week so I can go ride my horses, and she loves having that time to spend with my daughter all to herself.

If you have had more than one child, how did the pregnancies differ? In what ways were you surprised by the differences or similarities?

DD is my first.