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  1. #1
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    Default When visiting the other parent

    How does your child react and how do you cope?

    My DS has started screaming and trying to run in the opposite direction every time he sees his father. He then clings onto me and has to be pried off.
    Because of his limited language he can't tell me why he reacts this way but it is scaring me.

  2. #2
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    Mine are the opposite, especially the youngest... she gets so excited and talks about her Dad non-stop one the days I have her. Makes me feel quite negelected actually! We do 50/50 though so they see him a lot.

    Must be so hard when your DS has that reaction Does he see him often? Has it always been that way or is it a new thing?

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    If I had a child behaving like that, I would consider accompanying the child for visits to give the child a greater sense of security. Hopefully after several visits with you present, the child might be confident to go it alone.

    The above of course would rely on:
    * the other party being willing for you to intrude on his time with his child, and
    * you not having other commitments preventing you from doing so.

    If you do tag along, you need to be as uninvolved as your child will allow.

    ----------

    I dont like the idea of forcing a child to go without you against their will, and would only do so if necessary, eg:
    * you had to go to work, or
    * complying with court orders.

  4. #4
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    Thank you both for the replies. He used to get a little upset but nothing like this. It has become quite extreme in the last month or two. He has been going every second weekend for the last few years, but there have been times when his father doesn't turn up.
    We do not get on, but I am completely civil in front of DS and always make it an exciting thing to be seeing his dad. I never speak about the ex in a negative way with DS around either.
    It is not possible for me to accompany on visits due to this, andi am quite concerned as the ex has now enlisted a solicitor to push for extra time. I am quite worried.

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    In that case, I would be inclined to try and limit ex's visits to a contact centre (supervised) until he is no longer distressed.

    Note: I have no idea as to the ease or difficulty of such a stipulation.

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    I have been advised by the person on the phone at legal aid that because I have agreed to the current arrangement to continue until June, I have to stick to that until we go to mediation etc.

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    DD1 goes thru phases of being excited to go and not wanting to leave me.

    it seems to go in cycles ive noticed over the last 3yrs

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    Just keep record of all interactions.

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

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    Quote Originally Posted by Izy View Post
    Just keep record of all interactions.

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub


    Have only, started this since the new year but am now recording everything. A friend saw Jacobs reaction yesterday so she is writing me a letter too.

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    Oh you poor thing, that sounds like it would be very hard on you and you lil one.
    I think your best to keep a record of it all and hopefully your lil one will get used to visits soon
    Hugs


    Me -28 & my boys 7, 5 & 4
    -------------------------------------
    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app


 

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