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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savingfishfromdrowning View Post
    So what, all forms of punishment are equal to hitting? I'm not justifying hitting, I'm justifying a parent being an authority over a child, as opposed to the example I'd quoted, which suggested a father cannot discipline a child any more than a husband can discipline a wife.
    I'm not talking about punishments being equal, more that I don't think you can treat a teenager like that as they are a human being, brain function doesn't justify it.

    If the laptop was hers, then he had no right to destroy it and he certainly had no right to be aggressive as a parent or humiliate her. It's disgusting parenting IMO.

  2. #102
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    Savingfishfromdrowning is offline If you can't change your fate, change your attitude
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I'm not talking about punishments being equal, more that I don't think you can treat a teenager like that as they are a human being, brain function doesn't justify it.

    If the laptop was hers, then he had no right to destroy it and he certainly had no right to be aggressive as a parent or humiliate her. It's disgusting parenting IMO.
    Unequal brain functioning justifies unequal treatment. It's not fair to expect a teenager to make sound decisions as an adult would, so it is therefore not fair to treat them the same way.

    I'd have no hesitation in throwing away (thereby destroying) something that belonged to my child as a punishment if their actions justified it. I don't think that means I'm not treating my child like a human being. I wouldn't post it on you tube, but I don't think his actions were disgusting parenting.

  3. #103
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    I think there are obviously communication problems in this family. The fact he has to use YouTube to voice his opinion instead of talking to his child etc.. he comes across as one of those parents who puts down their kid in front of them constantly.

    If he thinks that he is coming across as being "right" by posting this video he's failed. He doesn't do himself any favours. But that's just my opinion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Savingfishfromdrowning View Post
    Unequal brain functioning justifies unequal treatment. It's not fair to expect a teenager to make sound decisions as an adult would, so it is therefore not fair to treat them the same way.

    I'd have no hesitation in throwing away (thereby destroying) something that belonged to my child as a punishment if their actions justified it. I don't think that means I'm not treating my child like a human being. I wouldn't post it on you tube, but I don't think his actions were disgusting parenting.
    I disagree so much. I have an intellectually disabled 40yo SIL. She deserves to be treated with the same respect as anyone else, as does her property.

    It sets a poor example about respecting others property, rather than respecting your parents.

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  7. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savingfishfromdrowning View Post
    Unequal brain functioning justifies unequal treatment
    Or not! That's a really shotty view of other humans, yuck. Children are people too and deserve equal respect and treatment. A mentally disabled adult, like Blissedout mentioned, deserves equal respect and treatment.

  8. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I'm not talking about punishments being equal, more that I don't think you can treat a teenager like that as they are a human being, brain function doesn't justify it.

    If the laptop was hers, then he had no right to destroy it and he certainly had no right to be aggressive as a parent or humiliate her. It's disgusting parenting IMO.
    He bought it so it is actually his so he can do what he wants with it

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  10. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I disagree so much. I have an intellectually disabled 40yo SIL. She deserves to be treated with the same respect as anyone else, as does her property.

    It sets a poor example about respecting others property, rather than respecting your parents.
    I don't know what level of functioning your sister has, but I imagine there may be some things she is not safely able to do on her own? Lots of people with ID have their finances cared for for them because they do not have the capacity to do so themselves. It's unfair to expect someone with unequal cognitive ability to function at the same level as every adult. It doesn't mean reducing their value as a person.

    In referance to your second statement - the girl lost her property (which her father paid for) as a consequence of her poor behaviour using said property. Much like a hoon can have their car turned into a cube if they misuse it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Or not! That's a really shotty view of other humans, yuck. Children are people too and deserve equal respect and treatment. A mentally disabled adult, like Blissedout mentioned, deserves equal respect and treatment.
    Thanks for quoting my whole statement. Amazing how awful you can make something sound when you take it completely out of context.

  11. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    He bought it so it is actually his so he can do what he wants with it
    My husband bought my laptop, if I have a whinge about him on bubhub is he justified in shooting it up because he paid for it? I currently have a pile of books in my lounge room that I paid for and bought for my children, should I throw then away after all they are mine because I paid for them.

    Mad an attachment parent and someone who wholeheartedly believes in gentle guidance the whole thing goes against everything I believe in.
    Last edited by elleandsam; 12-02-2012 at 15:31.

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  13. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savingfishfromdrowning View Post
    I don't know what level of functioning your sister has, but I imagine there may be some things she is not safely able to do on her own? Lots of people with ID have their finances cared for for them because they do not have the capacity to do so themselves. It's unfair to expect someone with unequal cognitive ability to function at the same level as every adult. It doesn't mean reducing their value as a person.

    In referance to your second statement - the girl lost her property (which her father paid for) as a consequence of her poor behaviour using said property. Much like a hoon can have their car turned into a cube if they misuse it.



    Thanks for quoting my whole statement. Amazing how awful you can make something sound when you take it completely out of context.
    I think it's awful within context as well.

  14. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savingfishfromdrowning View Post
    Unequal brain functioning justifies unequal treatment.
    Yes indeed. Children (who have unequal brain function by your claim) require to be treated with MORE respect, MORE love, need to have their rights MORE stridently defended than your average person who can do so for themselves. They require that society protects them MORE than adults. Not less.

    There have been many groups of people throughout history who have been considered to be unequal in terms of their rights or brain function. They have been terribly used an abused within the systems that supported that unequal treatment. Take out 'child' in your example and insert 'Aboriginal'. Or 'homosexual'. Or 'wife'. Or 'African American'. Or 'quadraplegic'.

    See how offensive it is?

    Children are less mature. They are not less human. Being less mature requires that we given them more protection, not less.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    He bought it so it is actually his so he can do what he wants with it
    What a ridiculous statement. The very definition of 'gift' is that it then becomes the property of the person to whom it was gifted - for them to use as they please. Imagine if everything you'd ever been gifted in your life was taken back by the person who'd gifted it if you used it in a way that they didn't like. How do you reckon you might feel about that?

    I'm just astounded that apparently intelligent people can't see the glaring hypocrisy of this man's actions.

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